


underneath the electric stars

by holtzbabe



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: AKA the most ambitious fic I could've attempted, Erin has a lot more game than she usually does in my fics, Everything is very gay, F/F, Ghostbusters (2016): Holtzbert Cut, Holtz has zero chill about flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:29:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzbabe/pseuds/holtzbabe
Summary: From "Come here often" to "We're dating," this is the story of how Erin Gilbert and Jillian Holtzmann fell in love: slowly, suddenly, strangely, and while saving the world.





	1. when it feels like the world is on your shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when I said I wasn't going to write any more Holtzbert? Well. I lied. I accidentally wrote what is possibly the most ambitious and insane fic on the planet. This is the fic that I've been hoping someone would write since I first started shipping Holtzbert. It's my excuse to get inside their heads and to do an in-depth analysis of every single Holtzbert moment in that godforsaken movie and to write a bunch original scenes that COULD'VE happened in the scope of canon, all because I'm about 94% convinced that the two of them were together by the end of the movie. So this is...my interpretation of the movie and how that could've happened. It's a mix of the theatrical cut and the extended cut because I wanted the extra scenes but I also wanted some of the theatrical cut lines. Also, there are a lot more original scenes than the first chapter lets on, FYI, if you choose to keep reading :) Hope I can hook you enough with the original content in the second chapter! I've put a loooooot of effort into this fic (and I've been slowly losing my mind in the process trying to understand the logistics of some of the time jumps in this film-which nobody should ever try to do) so I really hope you like it!
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy Ghostbusters (2016): Holtzbert Cut.

“Come here often?”

Erin whipped her head around at the low, husky female voice behind her. There, slouched in a chair with her boots on the table and a lit blowtorch in her hand, was a woman. She was dressed in stained overalls and she was wearing not one but _two_ pairs of yellow goggles—one on her face and a larger set nestled in the wild mess of blonde hair protruding from her head.

At the time, Erin didn’t know that those three words would irreversibly alter her life. If she had known in that moment, she would’ve picked up her briefcase and left. Erin Gilbert, doctor of particle physics, was _this_ close to having the life she had always dreamt of. She was being reviewed for tenure at a prestigious university. She wasn’t married yet, but she had a steady boyfriend of nearly six months. She had a good relationship with her parents for the first time in a long time. Things were finally how they were supposed to be, and she wasn’t about to let anyone or anything veer her off course.

Not ghosts. Not Abby Yates. And _not_ this woman, whoever she was.

Erin hadn’t thought about ghosts in a very long time. They were locked away in a tiny part of her brain along with all thoughts of Abby and their book. She wasn’t allowed to think about those things.

Until she was _forced_ to, because Abby had started selling the book without Erin’s permission, and now Erin was standing in the musty basement of this sad excuse for a college, and the woman who used to be her best friend was now more interested in yelling about soup than talking to Erin. As she had stormed off, barking into her phone, Erin had set her briefcase down, fully intending to wait until Abby came back so they could have a mature conversation about all this.

And then—the blonde woman. _Come here often_? She was still gazing at Erin expectantly.

“I’m sorry, hello?” Erin cocked her head to the side. “Who are—who are you?” she stuttered, caught off guard by both the pick-up line and the fact that there had been someone else in the room to witness her conversation with Abby.

The woman swung her feet down, her boots hitting the floor with a solid thunk, and tossed the blowtorch onto the table as she stood. She pulled her green protective gloves off as she slunk towards Erin, revealing fingerless brown leather gloves beneath them. Did this woman wear everything in multiples?

She extended her hand to shake Erin’s with a cocky smirk on her face. “Holtzmann,” she said.

A strange name—a last name, Erin supposed—but it suited her. She was even more bizarre-looking close up. Erin’s eyes flickered down to the large silver pendant hanging around her neck from a thick chain: a letter U with a screw spiked behind it. Erin got the joke instantly, and her mouth twitched into a bit of a smile as she returned Holtzmann’s shake. “Erin.”

Holtzmann’s smirk turned into a full grin. “I’ve heard terrible things about you.”

Erin’s heart sunk a little. All her life, people had formed judgements about her without ever speaking to her. She’d always had a desperate need for others’ approval, and she’d finally hit a point in her life where she felt like she had more control over people’s first impressions of her. The fact that this woman already had God knows how long of Abby chirping bad things in her ear didn’t seem like a good start. Erin tried to remind herself that she’d probably never see this Holtzmann again, but instead of soothing her spirits, the thought made her kind of…disappointed.

Abby had returned. “Holtzmann works with me here in the lab. She’s a brilliant engineer.” An engineer? She didn’t look like an engineer. She looked like…well, Erin wasn’t sure what she looked like. A mad scientist, maybe?

Holtzmann slung her arm around Abby’s shoulder, and Erin felt a little pang of jealousy run through her. How long had they been working together? Had Holtzmann been…her replacement?

“And,” Abby continued, “very loyal. She would _not_ abandon you.”

“I get it,” Erin said snippily.

“She also happens to specialize in experimental particle physics.”

That caught Erin’s attention. She tried to keep indifference in her voice as she said, “Oh.”

Holtzmann had removed the yellow glasses from her face, and with the obstruction gone, Erin was struck by how beautiful she was. Her eyes were the most brilliant shade of blue. Erin’s stomach dipped a little. Pretty _and_ smart? Hold on—she had a boyfriend. What was she doing?

“Holtzmann and I are really busy here actualizing what we just theorized about in our book.”

Holtzmann was staring at Erin. She was blinking with an infrequency that was a little unsettling. Erin felt exposed, somehow, like she was naked.

“Really?” Erin asked, squirming a little.

“Yeah. We’re incredibly close on the hollow laser for the reverse tractor beam. Really close.”

“You’re making a reverse tractor beam?” Erin couldn’t help herself from being intrigued. As much as she didn’t want to engage with any of this nonsense, particle physics _excited_ her.

That’s what made her go listen to the supposed EVP. That and because the little eight-year-old inside of her still wanted to be proved right even after all these years.

And it was a joke.

As they laughed and made fun of her, she decided she’d had enough. She’d find another way to get the book taken down. Maybe she could contact Amazon and tell them that Abby was violating copyright, or something. She was done with this.

She should’ve just walked away without engaging in any more conversation. She shouldn’t have mentioned Ed Mulgrave. She didn’t think they would _actually_ take it seriously. She watched in disbelief as they sprung into action. Holtzmann strode across the room, stripping off her lab coat to reveal an olive green crop top under her overalls. Erin got temporarily distracted by the bare skin on her sides.

“Wait, you’re going?”

“I got the pack,” Holtzmann said, bending to grab a silver bag and a jacket.

Erin felt strangely hurt that Abby hadn’t actually been inviting her to join them. She shut the door to the lab behind her and chased after them, calling Abby’s name. Holtzmann, now clad in a black leather jacket, ran like she didn’t know how humans were supposed to run. It was kind of…endearing.

“Come on,” Erin said when she caught up to them, “please Abby, just take the book down. Please.”

Holtzmann was leaning against the side of the cab with her jaw jutted out, making faces at Erin as she negotiated with Abby. It was very distracting.

The three of them piled into the cab to head to the Aldridge Mansion. Erin’s motivations were still to get the book taken down, but she was…a little curious, too. She listened to the pair’s excited banter from the back seat. A finger prodded her shoulder.

“Hey,” Holtzmann said, “Dr. Tenure. Did this guy mention anything more about the ghost when you spoke to him?”

Erin twisted in her seat and shook her head. “Just said the building was haunted. And don’t call me that. You can call me Dr. Gilbert or Erin.” She’d had more than enough of her share of nicknames in the past.

Holtzmann smirked. “Roger that, Dr. Erin.” She gave Erin a two-fingered salute and resumed her conversation with Abby.

Erin sighed and turned back to face the front. She was beginning to get the sense that Holtzmann took nothing seriously.

After they arrived and she made the introductions, she could’ve just left. She’d held up on her side of the bargain. Her curiosity led her inside, though, to where Abby and Holtzmann were setting up their equipment.

As Abby walked around with her PKE meter, Erin became aware that Holtzmann had her video camera pointed right at Erin. She swatted it away, but Holtzmann brought it right back. She knew the strange engineer was probably only doing it to bug her, but she felt a little flattered none-the-less.

“Ma’am, can you tell us where you got the world’s tiniest bow tie?”

“Uh. It came with the shirt?”

“Can you tell us what it’s like to walk around in those shoes all day?”

A little thrill went through Erin at the thought of Holtzmann checking out her outfit, even if it was only to make fun of her. She was a little disappointed when on her next time swatting away the camera, Holtzmann walked away instead of persisting.

The disappointment was short lived, because soon she had a much bigger problem on her hands. She watched the eerie blue light flooding out of the open basement door, completely spellbound. A loud crunch made her flinch. A glance down the line revealed that the source of the noise was Holtzmann…eating Pringles.

“How can you be eating right now?” Erin said through clenched teeth.

“You try saying no to these salty parabolas.”

That—what? Who _was_ this woman?

Then…the ghost. Rounding the corner, dress swirling in tendrils around her ankles, glowing blue.

“This can’t be happening,” Erin said.

“Oh, it’s happening all right,” Holtzmann said. Her voice was distinctly calm. Firm, but anchoring, somehow. Erin felt a pang go through her, and despite having known the woman for less than an hour, she found herself wishing that Holtzmann had been there when she was younger to reassure her that what she was seeing was real.

She had to talk to it. She just had to.

The slime was so unexpectedly horrible. As it showered down on her, soaking every inch of her suit and hair and skin, she heard the distinct crunch of Holtzmann eating another chip.

Then it was over, and the ghost was flying through the window, and they were spilling out onto the street, and all Erin could do was shout ‘We saw a ghost,’ over and over and over while Holtzmann danced around her.

They stayed out there for twenty minutes, coming down from the high. Holtzmann swiped a finger along Erin’s cheek to pick up some of the slime and tasted it ‘for science.’ It…kind of turned Erin on. Wait, what? The strip of skin that Holtzmann had touched tingled for a while afterwards.

Abby and Holtzmann said they were going to go out for drinks to celebrate, and they invited Erin along. Her eyes flickered back and forth between them: Abby, whose eyes were starting to sparkle with something that may have been forgiveness, and Holtzmann, whose own eyes were filled with a kind of manic glee. Erin wanted to say yes. She wanted to celebrate not being crazy, and catch up with Abby, and learn more about the fascinating woman beside her.

Instead, though, she declined with the excuse that she needed to shower. And she had class to teach the next day. Was it her imagination, or did Holtzmann’s face fall when she said no? Quickly, she asked if she could come back to their lab the next day after she was done work, so they could discuss what just happened to them. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to either of them. Holtzmann said yes without a hesitation.

Erin bade them farewell, and headed for home. Later, after an excruciatingly long shower trying to remove the surprisingly invasive slime that clung to her body, she curled up in bed and thought about how much her life had just been changed in a day. In the span of a few hours, she had seen a ghost, reconnected with the greatest friend she’d ever had, and met…the strangest human she’d ever encountered.

Oddly, it wasn’t the ghost that kept returning to her head. It was a nuclear engineer she barely knew: a puff of blonde hair, odd yellow glasses, and the way that she had kept so calm while they stood face-to-face with a ghost. Erin didn’t know what to make of her. She didn’t understand her.

But God, did she want to.


	2. and all of the madness has got you going crazy

Jillian Holtzmann had been a little in love with Erin Gilbert for a long time. It was strange, maybe, to be a little in love with someone you’ve never met, but it happened all the time. Just ask any teenage girl with a celebrity crush.

It was a little like that. Holtzmann was a little in love with Erin Gilbert’s crazy, beautiful, awe-inspiring theories in _Ghosts from Our Past_. She was intimidating as all hell—this woman who was Satan incarnate, Abby’s words, who was a genius to boot. Holtzmann longed to know more about her than the little fragments that Abby could supply, most of which were vague insults about her character instead of actual information about who she was. Holtzmann wanted to know what Erin Gilbert had done to warrant the pure wrath of Abby. She only knew bits and pieces of the story. She knew that they had been friends, that they had written the book together, that Erin had left, and that now they no longer spoke. Everything in between was hers to fill in.

She had long since resigned to crafting her own story. She didn’t expect to ever get the real one.

And she never _dreamed_ she’d get to meet the infamous physicist.

She had been so much cuter than the dated picture on the book jacket. Everything from her blunt bangs to the ridiculous ensemble she was wearing fascinated Holtz, and she wanted nothing more than to get to know her better. She’d waited until Abby had ducked away before speaking, lighting the blowtorch in her hand and dropping a pick-up line. Were there better ways to introduce yourself? Maybe. Did Holtz care? No.

She’d been so enthused when Erin had accompanied them to the Aldridge Mansion. Less enthused when she’d had to say goodbye. When she and Abby got back to the lab, Holtz had wasted no time in uploading the video to Youtube. And then—because as much as she was intrigued by Erin, nobody got away with hurting Abby—she’d hunted down the email address of a professor in Columbia’s physics department and sent a link.

She thought that Erin would be embarrassed in front of her pretentious colleagues. Maybe her tenure would fall through.

She didn’t think Erin would get _fired_. 

She felt horrible when Erin told them the news and sat down in the lab. As she spoke, Holtz tried to keep a neutral expression on her face so she wouldn’t give away that she had been behind Erin losing her job.

She also couldn’t resist making a joke about the ectoplasm incident. When Erin made a comment about it getting into every crack, it was like she was _willing_ Holtz’ mind to go to a dirty place. She was full-on grinning now, especially when Erin started talking science. God, that was unexpectedly hot.

Abby directed Erin’s attention to the computer monitor to read some of the comments, Holtz sidled up to her, studying the face that she’d been thinking about since the previous day. They were interrupted by the obnoxious sound of the TV, and Abby started complaining loudly about the Ghost Jumpers show. Holtz looked over at Erin, and the physicist straightened up under her gaze and met Holtz’ eyes. Their gazes only locked for a moment, but Holtz felt her breath get knocked out of her and a feeling crashed through her like the feeling she got when she was watching an explosion: scary and exciting and _thrilling_ all around. She tore her eyes away, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Abby continued to speak. A few seconds later, Holtz hazarded another glance at Erin. This time she looked away before the other woman had a chance to react. Her heart was beating much too fast for the situation.

She was thankful for the distraction of heading upstairs to meet with the dean and ask for more funding. She walked several paces ahead of Abby and Erin, her lab coat fluttering behind her, and she could feel Erin’s eyes on her back. In the dean’s office, she slouched back into the far chair and proceeded to tune out most of the conversation while her mind raced.

Unsurprisingly, the dean wasn’t willing to give them more money. Or any money. Abby grumbled all the way back down to the lab, and they wordlessly began stacking the most important and valuable pieces of machinery onto three rolling carts. Erin started helping them. Either she didn’t realize they were stealing them, or she was more lax about stuff like that than Holtz would’ve anticipated. Probably the former.

Holtz took one last look around the lab that had begun to feel like a home to her, and then they set off, each pushing a heavy cart in front of them.

“Just a minor setback,” Abby said as they got outside.

“No, guys, I think we can really do this,” Erin said, “We can become the first scientists to prove the existence of the paranormal. All we have to do is find an entity and capture it and bring it into a controlled environment! That’s all!”

Holtz stood listening to all of this with a wide grin on her face. In a span of 24 hours, she had seen Erin go from pinched and annoyed, to utterly dejected, to _this_ —this almost giddy excitement.

“Hey! There’s the Erin I remember! Welcome back,” said Abby.

“Thank you,” Erin said proudly.

Holtz leaned down onto the cart in front of her, her grin so wide it felt like it was splitting her face. “Niiice.”

And then—yep, Erin wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of stolen goods. They took off running as the dean shouted after them, baseball bat in hand.

They needed a place to store the equipment until they could find a new location, and Erin volunteered her apartment because it was nearby. Holtzmann already had several ideas in her head about what Erin’s apartment might look like, and when she stepped through the door, she found out she was right. It was as pristine and white as a hotel room, and sparsely decorated. It was impressively big, and Holtz wondered just how much money professors at Columbia made.

“Well, this is it,” Erin said. She wrung her hands nervously.

Holtz deposited her cart into the far corner of the living room and made a big show of looking around. “Nice place you got, doc. Impressive.”

Abby took in the space. “Jesus, Erin, it doesn’t look like anyone lives here. Do you have a single personal picture up in this entire apartment?”

Erin’s face reddened. She jutted her chin towards the end table by the white leather couch, which Holtz had already taken residence on. On the table was a single framed photo. Holtz swiped it up and studied the photo of Erin and a generic looking brown-haired guy, standing side by side but not touching, like they were 2nd cousins or something equally as distant.

“This your…brother?” Holtz hazarded.

“Boyfriend,” Erin replied instantly, and Holtz heart plummeted. Then Erin’s face scrunched up. “Ex-boyfriend, I guess.”

Holtz set the photo back down with a little thud. “Why do you have photos of your ex-boyfriend out? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t seem healthy.”

Erin came to sit awkwardly on the other end of the couch. She sighed. “I just…I don’t know if it’s actually over, you know?”

“When did you break up?” Abby asked from where she’d taken a seat at the kitchen island.

“We didn’t. Break up, I mean.” Erin bit her lip. “His name is Phil and he’s also a physics professor at Columbia. We’ve been together for six months— _six months_ —and today he just stood by and watched me be publicly humiliated. Didn’t come to my defense. Pretended to ignore me when I tried to talk to him. Hasn’t even texted or called to ask if I’m okay.”

“Dump his ass,” Abby said immediately. “He sounds like a dick.”

“Complete douche,” Holtz agreed.

“But...what if it’s just a misunderstanding? Six months is a lot of time to throw away because of one mistake, right?” Erin asked.

Abby tapped her chin. “Do you love him?”

“I…” Erin looked surprised, like she had never considered the question before. “He’s…um…okay…”

Abby snorted. “How romantic. That sounds like a no.”

Erin scrunched her nose up, and Holtz got momentarily distracted by how cute it was. “Yeah. I guess I don’t. It’s really over, then, isn’t it…”

“I’d suggest removing that photo from the premises immediately,” Holtz said, hoping she wasn’t overstepping. “I’ve got a blow torch kickin’ around here somewhere. Wanna use it?”

Erin made a face but held out her hand for the frame. She stared at the photo for a few seconds, then removed it and crumpled it up into a ball.

“Atta girl,” said Abby. “Now that that’s all sorted out, I need to head out and start searching for a space we can rent.” She stood up from her stool and started walking towards the door. “Holtz?”

Holtz looked back and forth between Erin and Abby for a second. She couldn’t really bear the thought of leaving just yet. “Uhhhhhhh. I should probably hang back for a bit. Secure all the equipment so nothing goes boom overnight, y’know.” It was a solid excuse to stay. She was proud of herself for coming up with it on the spot.

“Do you need me to help?” Abby asked, one hand on the door.

“No,” Holtz said, probably too quickly. “I should be fine. I’ve got the lovely Dr. Gilbert around to help in case anything goes badly.” She shot a smooth grin in Erin’s direction. Wait, was she…blushing?

Abby squinted a little. “Ooo-kay then. I’ll leave you to it.”

She left, and then Holtz was alone with Dr. Erin Gilbert, and she suddenly regretted everything. She stood hastily from the couch and scurried over to the nearest cart to fiddle with some wires in what she hoped was a convincing way. The room was stiflingly quiet. Normally Holtz would’ve dropped a one-liner to break the silence, but her brain was short circuiting a bit and she had kind of forgotten how to speak.

“So I’m assuming Holtzmann is your last name?” Erin said suddenly. Holtz jumped and dropped the item in her hand—which, if she was being honest, _really_ couldn’t be safely dropped.

Holtz cleared her throat. “That it is.”

There was a pause.

“Do you have a first name, or?”

“UmmmmmmmJillian,” Holtz said quickly. “Nobody calls me that, though. Everyone calls me Holtzmann. Or Holtz.”

Erin nodded like that made a lot of sense. “Oh.”

Holtz licked her (suddenly very dry) lips. “You can call me Holtz. If you want.”

Erin smiled tentatively. “Okay.”

Holtz dropped into a crouch to power down the machinery on the bottom shelf of the cart. It conveniently sheltered her face from Erin so she could take a minute to regroup and regain her confidence. She could do this. She’d spoken to lots of humans before. Sure, none of them were intimidating physicists who she was maybe a tiny bit in love with, but that was unimportant.

She swallowed. “So, Erin. Tell me about yourself.” Smooth.

Erin let out a vaguely nervous squack of laughter. “That sounds like we’re on a date.”

Holtz stood up from behind the cart slowly and carefully, a wicked smile spreading across her face. “Oh, Erin. You would know if we were on a date. Trust me.” She punctuated her last two words with a wink.

Well, if there was any mistaking Erin’s blush before, there sure wasn’t now.

“Uh…I’m…” Erin stammered. “What was the question?”

“Tell me about yourself. Hobbies? Pastimes? Weird fetishes? Shoe size? Who _is_ the mysterious Erin Gilbert?”

Erin lifted an eyebrow. “Um. Well, I’m a theoretical particle physicist. I attended the University of Michigan, where I—”

Holtz interrupted her with a loud snore. “Boooooring. Come on. That’s not what I want to know. That sounds like how you’d introduce yourself at a job interview.”

“I don’t know how else to introduce myself!” Erin protested.

“Here, let me show you how it’s done.” Holtz climbed over the back of the couch and landed beside Erin with a soft thump and extended her hand to shake Erin’s. “Holtzmann. Virgo, avid skier, gluten _full_ , queer engineer, and hearty lover of puns.” She slumped back into the couch with her arms stretched behind her head and watched Erin’s reaction with a smirk.

Erin’s mouth twitched. “What was that one in the middle, there?”

“Gluten full? Y’get it? It’s like gluten free, except I’m not a weenie.”

“After that one.”

Holtzmann’s smirk grew. “I’m somewhat of a pun connoisseur? A punnoisseur, if you will.”

Erin shot her an exasperated look. Holtz just winked.

“Okay. Never mind, then.”

“Your turn, Dr. Gilbert. Tell me something you’ve never told anyone before.”

“Oh come on, yours weren’t like that!”

“Too bad. Spill those secrets. I wanna know what makes you tick.”

“Ummm. Something I’ve never told anyone before?”

Holtz nodded in encouragement.

Erin screwed up her face in concentration for a few moments. “One time I stole a pack of gum, and I felt so bad afterwards that I went back and placed a twenty-dollar bill on the counter without saying anything to the cashier, then sprinted out of the store. I never went back after that.”

Holtz snorted. “Wow. A bad girl. I like that.”

“I can’t think of anything else right now. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll work on it.”

Erin smiled at that. “So is everything good to go?”

“Huh?”

Erin nodded her head in the direction of the carts behind them. “Everything locked down? My apartment isn’t gonna blow up tonight?”

Oh, right. Holtz debated for a second whether or not to draw things out any longer. “Oh, yeah, everything should be good. Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to that pretty face of yours, _or_ to this delightfully drab apartment.”

Erin flushed once more at the compliment. She punched Holtz’ arm lightly. “Don’t insult my apartment, or I won’t ever invite you to come back.”

Holtz’ mouth dropped open for a second as the implications of _that_ hit her like a proton stream in the gut. Did Erin just _flirt back_? Was she _aware_ of what she just said and how it could be interpreted?

Holtz snapped her mouth back shut, alarms blaring in her brain. “Right. Well. I need to go. Away. To my own apartment. It’s a lot messier than this. Um. Yeah. I should—” She broke off, stood choppily from the couch, and started backing towards the door.

“Is everything okay?” Concern coloured Erin’s voice, and maybe even a little hurt as well.

No, Holtz couldn’t leave Erin thinking she had done something wrong. “Yeah!” she all but shouted. “I mean. Uhhhhh everything’s great. I just. Had a really great prototype idea? Yeah. And I need to go sketch it out immediately. I can get preeeetty intense when that happens. Don’t want to scare you away by introducing you to Crazy Holtz this early on.” Why did she say that?

Erin laughed good-naturedly. “You mean I haven’t already met Crazy Holtz?” she teased.

“Oooooh! Gilbert has a funny bone. Who knew?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

Holtz grinned. “Well, I intend to find out all of it.”

Something flashed across Erin’s face, and Holtzmann couldn’t for the life of her pin down what it was.

Erin smiled, almost…shyly? “You should go deal with your prototype. I can’t wait to see it.”

“I’ll show it to you tomorrow,” Holtz promised. She opened the door to Erin’s apartment, and hovered there for a moment. Then, before she could think it through (although when did she ever think _anything_ through?) she summoned her momentarily absent confidence, rearranged her face into her most come-hither smile, leaned against the door frame, and said, “By the way, that thing that I said about myself earlier? You heard me right.”

She winked one last time, then spun on her heel and strode away, leaving Erin to make of that what she would.


	3. it's time to get out (step out into the street)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter for yoooouuuuu. This chapter has one of my favourite original scenes in it. Can you guess which one it is? :)

Erin spent her evening thinking about Holtzmann again and jumping every time one of the machines in her living room made a noise.

The next morning, she met up with Abby and Holtzmann and the realtor Abby had procured overnight. The abandoned firehouse she showed them first was perfect. Erin watched Abby and Holtzmann run around the open space like a couple of excited children on Christmas morning, and she felt a little giddy herself.

And then—$21,000 a _month?_ The savings the three of them had pooled together (mostly Erin’s) wouldn’t even cover one month of renting there. She ran up the stairs after Abby and Holtzmann, sighing wistfully at how beautiful the space was as she went.

“Guys. Guys. We can’t afford this place. We need to leave right now before we get attached.”

The way Holtzmann’s expression fell was devastating.

The space above the Chinese restaurant paled in comparison, but at least they could afford it. Plus, they could move in immediately because the building’s owners were so eager to get someone in. Abby was ecstatic at the thought of working above her favourite place for takeout. Holtzmann still seemed a little bummed, but as soon as they started walking around, she started to light up a bit as she planned where her things would go.

While Abby started on the paperwork, Erin walked over to where Holtzmann was, inexplicably, crawling around on her hands and knees with a small metal object that was flashing red.

“That floor doesn’t look…very clean,” Erin said.

“It’s disgusting,” Holtzmann agreed joyfully.

Did she dare ask? “So what are you doing?”

The engineer hummed. “Can’t tell you.” She sat up onto her knees and squinted down at the machine. “Hmmmm. Well, that’s…probably fine.”

Erin frowned. “Should I be worried?”

Holtzmann beamed up at her. “Not at all. Help me up?”

Erin hoisted her to her feet. “So I was thinking. Would you like to go grab lunch together sometime?”

Holtzmann’s eyebrows shot to the ceiling. “Why, Dr. Gilbert, are you asking me on a date?”

“What? No! Of course not! That would be…weird and inappropriate. I just mean, you know, like a couple of gals…being pals…getting to know each other better…”

“Sounds like a date to me.” Who gave her the right to smirk like that?

“Holtz!” Erin said, the nickname bursting out of her for the first time. Holtz’ lips twitched. “That’s not what I…I mean like, soon-to-be colleagues going on a very professional work lunch—”

“Date.”

“—to learn more about one another before working together.”

“A date.”

“Stop it!”

“No. You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Erin blushed hard.

“You’re cute when you get all red and splotchy, too,” Holtz added.

Erin’s stomach fluttered. “You know, most people are a little more subtle when they flirt.”

Holtz jutted her chin out and raised one eyebrow. “I’m not like most people, baby. Also, I’ve never understood subtlety.”

“That’s for sure,” Erin muttered under her breath.

“I don’t have the patience. Time is a tickin’, Dr. Gilbert. I could die in a nuclear accident at any moment. There’s no time for subtlety. For all I know it could take you _months_ to even realize I was hitting on you. At that rate we’d _never_ end up together! We can’t have that, can we? Now, about that date…”

“It’s not a date.”

“You underestimate my persuasive abilities.”

Erin sighed. “You’re very confident, aren’t you?”

“Is it a turn on?” Holtzmann winked.

Erin spun on her heel. “I’m walking away,” she called over her shoulder.

“I’ll wear you down eventually!” Holtz called back.

Erin spent the rest of the day contemplating why the thought of going on a date with Holtz was more appealing than it should be.

The next morning, Abby and Holtzmann showed up bright and early to her apartment to move the equipment to their new lab.

“How many matching blazers and skirts do you own, woman?” Holtzmann said upon seeing her.

Erin looked down at her ensemble self-consciously. “I don’t know.”

“You make it work.” Holtz grinned. “Interesting choice for moving, though.”

“I don’t own casual wear,” Erin muttered, even though she definitely did. She just couldn’t stomach the thought of wearing it to work.

They spent all morning moving their respective things into their new space. By the time it was lunchtime, Erin had only made a small dent in the boxes she was unpacking. It wasn’t her fault that she kept getting distracted by Holtzmann, who insisted that she needed to get to work right away instead of helping them unpack. Apparently her idea of ‘working’ involved a whole lot of dancing to the music blasting from her stereo.

Erin could hear Abby arguing with her delivery guy again on the other side of the room. She was contemplating whether or not to go intervene, when Holtz’ music suddenly got louder. She recognized the opening notes to Rhythm of the Night instantly, and she bopped her head along while she watched Holtz begin to dance.

As the lyrics started, Holtz grabbed hold of a soldering iron and began lip syncing into it like a microphone, and oh God, the way she was looking seductively through her glasses turned Erin’s mouth dry.

Erin shot her a sarcastic smile that she hoped said ‘I see you over there flirt-dancing and that’s _not going to work on me.’_

Holtz didn’t ease up.

“Oh, we’re dancing,” Erin said, acknowledging it for the first time all morning. Then Holtzmann grabbed two blowtorches. “Let’s be safe, though.”

She lit the blowtorches and began gyrating with them above her head. Erin was about to say ‘that’s the exact opposite of safe’ when Holtz slid across the floor and lit a roll of paper towels on fire. She continued to dance.

“Holtz. Holtz! HOLTZMANN!” Erin shouted as the engineer did another spin. “FIRE.”

Holtz gave her a lazy wink and exchanged her blow torches for a fire extinguisher. She started slowly strutting over with it with no urgency at all.

“Over towards the fire.” Erin pointed.

Finally, brandishing the extinguisher at her crotch, Holtzmann pulled the trigger—all the while refusing to break eye contact with Erin.

Perfect. Great. Wonderful.

She was so distracted she didn’t even hear Abby come up beside her until she was speaking.

“Hate to DeBarge in.”

Okay, Erin gave her points for that one.

She was only half paying attention as Abby showed her the flyers, her mind replaying Holtz’ dance. Was this how it was going to be until Erin agreed that their undetermined lunch plans were, in fact, a date? If so, she wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to last. Maybe she’d have to buy a pair of horse blinders so she could focus on—oh sweet Jesus.

All thoughts of Holtzmann, and anything else, vanished from her brain at the sight of the most beautiful man she’d ever encountered.

She was vaguely aware of words coming out of her mouth. She had no clue what those words were.

_Kevin_.

Oh my God, he was beautiful. That’s all her brain could register.

“That’s a manly name. My name’s Erin. With an E. For…everything you want.”

As she followed Abby and Kevin over to the table for the interview, Holtz sidled up to her and poked her in the ribcage.

“Everything you want, huh? That was smooth.”

“What?”

“You know…a minute ago you said…ah, nevermind. Maybe best you don’t remember.”

It took less than five minutes into the interview for Erin to lose interest. God, he was attractive, but she could never in a billion years seriously date someone that dumb. Besides, Abby was right…workplace romance should be off limits. She’d learned her lesson with the Phil fiasco.

Wait…did that mean Holtzmann was off the table?

As they sent Kevin off while they deliberated, Erin decided that having him around was probably a workplace hazard.

“Guys, look, as much as I would like to have him here…to look at—”

“What?” Abby interrupted.

“You don’t find him attractive?”

Abby looked horrified. “ _Kevin_?”

Erin was about to ask what was the matter with her when she had a flash of Abby in high school, confiding in Erin that she didn’t get crushes and she felt like something was wrong with her. Oh. Maybe not, then. Erin made a mental note to ask Abby about that later.

As it turns out, they had to hire Kevin anyway. Erin could already see _that_ ending in disaster, but before she could think about it too much, they had a bigger problem on their hands.

“I got chased by a ghost.”


	4. where all of the action is right there at your feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeere's Patty!

Holtzmann’s day had, admittedly, been a little ruined by the arrival of the hunk of beefcake that Erin was suddenly so enamored with. It wasn’t like she couldn’t be just as hot as Kevin, so that wasn’t her concern, but she worried she was no match for compulsory heterosexuality. Thus, her newly implemented ten-step plan to win over Erin Gilbert’s heart (steps one and two had been going swimmingly) had a bit of a wrench thrown in it. No matter. She would just have to kick it into high gear. Maybe skip over steps three and four. Or change up the order. She was up for the challenge.

Right now, though, she was face-to-face with a ghost for the second time in less than a week, and wooing Erin could wait.

Well. Maybe not. She had always been a good multitasker.

“Okay, Erin, c’mere.” She shoved her prototype proton gun into Erin’s arms. “Grab it. Grab it. That’s gonna shoot a proton stream at that ghost, okay?” She made sure to lean into Erin’s side as she pointed. “So whenever I say go, you just do that.”

“Uh, why am I operating the untested nuclear laser?”

Holtz grinned. “You have the longest arms.” She patted one of them to prove her point.

“You guys might want to hurry up,” the subway worker—Patty—said from behind them.

“Oh my God, I forgot the most important part.” Holtz grabbed the grounding collar and tugged it over to Erin. “Yeah, sorry, Erin…” She clipped the collar around Erin’s neck. “This is just a bit of grounding so you don’t die immediately.” Then she leaned in, placing her hand on Erin’s shoulder. “Do you know your iron level?”

She had never been this close to the physicist before. The coconutty scent of her shampoo mixed with a little bit of sweat overpowered the scents of the subway. It shouldn’t be intoxicating, but it was. Holtzmann’s chest thrummed, whether from Erin or the ghost ten feet away she wasn’t quite sure.

Erin made a muted noise in the negative. Holtz hovered there for half a second more before patting her shoulder. “It’s fine.”

The first test was underwhelming, to say the least. In hindsight, maybe they shouldn’t have tested the prototype for the first time whilst dealing with an actual ghost.

Suddenly, the ghost lunged forward, and Erin was thrown back to the ground. Oh, fuck.

Then there were lights coming from down the tunnel. “That’s the train! We gotta move!” Patty shouted.

Holtzmann tried to grab some of the machinery while Abby and Patty heaved Erin, still battling the ghost, backwards. The cart dragged behind her like a reluctant dog. The train came hurtling closer still, and Holtz skittered away up on the platform.

“GET IT OFF!” Erin shouted.

The collar. No, no, no, no, no. “OH GOD, THE COLLAR.” Holtzmann sprinted over and ripped it off, throwing it onto the tracks at the last possible second before the train whizzed past, the effort throwing her onto her butt. She narrowly missed the spray of slime as the train trapped the ghost.

All in all, it was truly spectacular. Even if her equipment was destroyed in the process. And it nearly got Erin killed. She resolved to never let that happen again. From now on, they were going to test things _before_ they used them on a ghost.

She clapped her hands excitedly and laughed at how ridiculous that all was. She’d always been a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Her brain was already churning with ideas for upgrades. “We need more juice, we need to be more mobile, I know what to do.”

“I almost got killed,” Erin said incredulously.

“Yeah, I know. It was so awesome.” Holtz replied.

They helped her up onto the platform. Holtz tried to wipe a little more of the ectoplasm off of Erin’s eyes until she could see again.

“You saved my life,” Erin said softly. “Thank you.”

Holtz grinned. “Any time, beautiful.”

Erin may have been blushing under all the goo, but it was hard to tell. “Yes. Well. Uh. I should head home and shower. Gotta get all this off.”

“Need any help?” Holtz lifted one eyebrow and smirked suggestively.

Patty looked back and forth between them. “Oh, are y’all a couple?”

Erin said, “No!” at the same time that Holtz said, “Not yet.”

Erin looked at her exasperatedly, then she shot a pained glance at Abby. “Help me out here?”

Abby chuckled and shook her head. “Nope. This is far too funny. If you want her to stop, you’re gonna have to tell her you’re not interested.”

Holtz smirked in agreement, silently daring Erin to do it. Because yeah, if that was the case, then Holtz would back off. She didn’t think it was, though.

This time, there was no mistaking how red Erin turned underneath the layer of ectoplasm on her skin. She began backing away, stammering something about needing to go, and then broke out into a bit of a jog away. The three of them watched her go.

“She seems a little tightly wound,” Patty commented. “Is she always like that?”

“You’re gonna give her a heart attack, Holtzy,” Abby said with a laugh.

“It certainly appears that way, doesn’t it? Ruh-roh.”

“Anyway,” Abby said, turning to Patty, “thank you so much for reporting this to us. I’m so sorry we couldn’t catch the entity properly.”

“Man, no worries. That was cool as hell to watch.”

“Give us a call _any_ time if you see it again,” Holtzmann said. “Really. Any time at all. Want me to give you my personal phone number?” She winked.

Patty squinted at her. “Are you flirting with _me_ , too? Do you flirt with _everyone_?”

“It’s a coping mechanism,” she deadpanned. Well, more like a reflex. “And not everyone…only the pretty ladies.” She jutted her chin in the woman’s direction and smirked. “Why, you interested?”

“Nope,” Patty said immediately, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe Holtz went there. “You’ll have better luck with the skittish one.” She nodded in the direction that Erin had escaped. “Because she definitely is.”

Holtz beamed. “You’re alright, you know that?”

Patty snorted. “I’ll see y’all around. Good luck with your ghosts and—” She gestured to Holtz— “All that.”

Holtz saluted in response and her and Abby set off, earning a few curious glances from passerby at the slime on Abby’s clothes.

“Hey Abby, my pal, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Yeah, Holtz?”

“On a scale of 1-10, how not-straight is Erin?”

“Oh, Jesus.”

“To clarify, one being ‘straight as a board’ and ten being…me.”

Abby shot her a look.

“Come on,” Holtz prodded, “indulge me.”

Abby sighed. “Six, at least. Maybe more. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Holtzmann fist pumped. “YES! Best news I’ve heard all day.” She patted Abby’s head. “Thank you dearly. Follow up question, would you be okay with me pursuing her? Given your history?”

“That makes it sound like we’re exes,” Abby muttered.

“Are you? Because lemme tell you, I haven’t had many friends in my life to know for sure, but I’m pretty sure friend-breakups don’t usually have that much angst, and—”

“Holtzmann! We’re not talking about this.” The slight colouring of Abby’s face betrayed her. So they _did_ have a thing. Interesting.

Holtz softened her expression. “So you don’t want me to go after her? Because I won’t. I’ll back down right away. You’re more important to me than her, and I don’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship. And be honest. Don’t pull that movie-shit where you say you’re okay with it but you’re really not and then everything implodes.”

“When have I ever _not_ been brutally honest about my emotions?”

Holtz nodded. “Good point. So? Should I back down?” She tried to conceal the desperation in her voice. The thought kind of made her want to cry, but she was telling the truth: Abby’s friendship was more important. She could get over Erin if she had to.

Abby studied her face for a second. “Wow. You actually like her, don’t you? I thought you were just flirting with her to mess with her, but you…yeah, you like her.”

Holtz bit her lip and ran her hand through her hair. She thought about making a joke, but instead she just nodded quietly. There was no point in lying to Abby.

Abby’s face softened. “What she and I had was a really long time ago, and it was over just as soon as it began. We loved each other a lot, and the lines got a little blurred. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where platonic love ends and romantic love begins. We figured it out, though. We were meant to be friends, so we went back to that. Even now, with the years between us…I still love her as a friend, Holtz. But that’s all. That’s all it will ever be. So if you want to pursue her, I am 100% okay with that.”

Holtz breathed out. “Promise?”

“I promise. I can’t guarantee that she’ll return your affections, but I give you permission to try.”

Holtz snorted. “Come on. I’m irresistible.”

Abby grinned and clapped her on the back. “Yeah, you kinda are.”

“Okay, you’re not in love with Erin, but are you in love with _me_? Because that’s also a movie plot. I refuse to have unnecessary angst on my watch. Did you know that 99% of angst could be prevented if people just talked to each other about what was on their minds?” Holtz solved this problem by having no filter, ever.

“Oh my God,” Abby said.

“Answer the question, Abigail. This is very serious.”

“No, Holtz, I’m not in love with you.” Abby playfully shoved her. “There is nothing stopping you from chasing Erin.”

Holtz tapped her finger to her chin and thought about Kevin. “Well, there’s _one_ thing…”


	5. i know a place where we can dance the whole night away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all of my fellow Canadians! <3 This year I'm thankful for all of you lovely humans, who have been reading and leaving kudos and commenting on all my work. You guys are amazing and I don't deserve you! I'm gonna eat a truckload of turkey in your honour tonight. Anyway, here's a new chapter! I just want to publicly say that I thought of the scene in this chapter LONG before a CERTAIN DELETED SCENE THAT MADE ME 10X GAYER was released. That's all I'm saying.

Erin needed a distraction. Well, she _had_ a distraction—from her work, at least. Holtzmann was that distraction. What Erin _needed_ was a distraction from her distraction. Something to take her mind off Holtz, who was slumped in a chair stripping wires and looking far too attractive for the workplace.

She busied herself by reading the comments on the video from the subway. She was a little distraught to see that everyone thought it was fake. Seriously? When she was a kid, all she wanted was to have proof that ghosts were real. Now she _had_ proof, and people still didn’t believe her. She was just going to have to try harder to prove it. She couldn’t be satisfied knowing that she was right—she had always kind of known she was right. She needed everyone else to know she was right too.

An even better distraction came in the form of Kevin with Abby’s coffee. Erin was trying really hard to be attracted to him again. _That_ was safe. _That_ she could handle. She was used to unrequited pining. It was comforting to know that nothing would happen between them. Holtzmann on the other hand was completely uncharted territory. Erin’s pining—not that she was pining, absolutely not—was far from unrequited. She knew she could say right now ‘let’s go on that date,’ and Holtz would leap from her chair and be ready to go in an instant. Or at least, that’s what Erin thought. She still wasn’t super clear if Holtz was seriously flirting with her or just messing with her. She thought it was serious, but everything was a joke to Holtzmann. So really, who knew.

Yeah, Kevin was a whole lot lower risk.

She reached out and grabbed the cup of coffee he had just spit in, mumbling something about waste, and enjoyed the brief look of horror on Holtzmann’s face. Abby snatched the mug from her before she could take a sip.

Then she had a third (actually interesting) distraction. The bits and pieces of scrap metal they had salvaged from the subway.

The woman from the subway scared her half to death by interrupting their conversation. How long had she been sitting there? Had she also witnessed Erin take Kevin’s spit-coffee? That would be embarrassing.

Speaking of Kevin, how much were they paying him? Every day he seemed to get worse at his job.

“I’m joining the club!” the subway worker exclaimed with a wide smile. Her name was Patty, Erin remembered suddenly.

“Um. Well, it’s not really—” She was cut off by the phone ringing. Kevin ignored it and snapped a rubber band in his teeth. “Kevin! Hi, can you answer the phone, please?”

“I can’t; it’s in the fish tank.”

“Uh. No, the one on the desk that’s ringing. That one.” She pointed.

“Oh!” Kevin picked up the phone and covered the receiver. “What’s this place called again?”

“Conductors of the Metaphysical Examination.” They had agreed on the name together. Well, Holtzmann thought it was too long, but she said given the title of their book it could be worse.

“Got it. Uh, Conductors of Metamucils, and stuff.”

Oh my God.

Then he hung up on what was probably a ghost situation, which _really_ infuriated her. And, to top it all off, he took off, tripping on his way out.

“Ooh! Did you hurt your face?” Erin blurted. Her plan was going to fail spectacularly if Kevin got even a smidgen less attractive. She wouldn’t be able to justify the crush anymore.

She turned her attention back to Patty.

“The thing is, this isn’t really a club. It’s a scientific research group.” Not that they were getting much scientific research done.

“And I understand that. But let me tell you something: I read a lot of non-fiction. And you guys know a lot about this science, but I know New York. AND! Check this out: I can borrow a car from my uncle, and ya’ll won’t have to lug all this heavy equipment around.”

“Oh, guys, we gotta get a car,” Holtz sighed from behind them.

Patty made a convincing case for herself. Car aside, her expertise in the history of New York could be a valuable asset for dealing with ghosts.

“Come on, baby. You need me. You need Patty. Patty come with benefits. You need me. Stop playing like you don’t.”

“You’re in,” Abby said.

“HA! Should I go get the car now, or later?”

“Now, for sure. Gotta prove you have the goods before we initiate you.” Holtzmann grinned.

“You better be joking about there being an initiation. I will _not_ do any funky shit, I’m telling you that right now.”

“Dammit. Erin, you’re gonna have to try to return those 23 lizards to the pet store before they realize I injected them with radium,” Holtz deadpanned.

“What kind of initiation ritual involves 23 radium-laced lizards?” Erin asked.

Holtz winked. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna go,” Patty said, shaking her head.

“One of us, one of us,” Holtzmann chanted at her retreating back. Once she had disappeared down the stairs, she looked back at Erin. “Think we scared her off?”

“You. _You_ scared her off, not us,” Erin said.

Holtzmann didn’t actually scare her off, miraculously, and a few hours later they were interrupted by the obnoxious sound of a horn outside. The three of them ran down the stairs and stepped outside to see…Patty standing next to a hearse. Seriously?

Holtz was ecstatic.

Erin’s attempt at a joke fell flat when it turned out there very might well be a body in the back. Holtz still laughed though, she noted.

Erin also didn’t trust her sense of humour, though. She didn’t doubt that Holtz was serious about finding uses for the misplaced cadaver and Erin didn’t want to ever find out what those uses were.

Patty parked the hearse in the garage attached to the building and the four of them headed upstairs. For an hour or so, Holtzmann worked on the new proton gun she was building while Erin and Abby got to know more about Patty.

Then Holtz stood up suddenly. “I’m gonna go check out the car for a bit. See what I’m workin’ with.”

“What do you mean ‘working with’?” Patty said. “The car runs great. Don’t go messing with my uncle’s hearse.”

“Sure, it might work just fine, but could it work _better_? I intend to find out.” Holtzmann grabbed a duffle bag from under her table and skipped off down the stairs.

“I’m scared of that girl,” Patty said.

“We all are,” Abby replied.

Holtz didn’t return. A few hours passed, and eventually Erin was getting antsy. “Should someone go check on Holtzmann? Make sure she didn’t blow herself up, or something?”

Abby didn’t even look up from her conversation with Patty about working for the MTA. Patty had some hilarious stories. Erin had been half listening as she puzzled over the metal parts from the subway some more. “We would’ve heard,” Abby said, “but go ahead.”

Erin sighed and headed downstairs, a little scared of what she might find.

Turns out, it was even worse than in her head.

There, bent over the open hood of the hearse, wearing grey grease-stained pants and a sweat-soaked white tank top that was riding up to expose a sliver of her lower back, was Holtzmann.

Erin made some sort of choking noise and Holtz whirled around, then her face spread into a grin at the way Erin’s mouth was, no doubt, hanging open.

All her brain could take in was how defined Holtzmann’s arms were, and how she could see her sports bra through the tank top, and how her hair was even messier than usual, and how _Jesus CHRIST she was making bedroom eyes at Erin_.

Holtz leaned back against the car with a sensual smirk. She twirled the wrench in her hand and winked. “Better shut that mouth before you swallow a fly, Dr. Gilbert.”

Erin let out a strangled noise that wasn’t coherent in any respect.

“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t quite make that out.” Holtz smiled innocently, like she wasn’t damn well aware of what she was doing.

“You’re hot,” Erin blurted. Then her brain caught up and she began frantically shaking her head. “No! I mean, it’s hot! You’re sweating! Hot…in the air, and in…is it hot in here or is it just you? I MEAN, NO! Ahh…I—” She had started to back towards the door at some point in all this, and she abruptly tripped and fell backwards onto her butt. She squeezed her eyes shut and hoped a ghost would appear suddenly to off her or at the very least distract her from this nightmare.

“Erin,” Holtz said, and her voice was much closer than Erin expected. Her eyes flew open to reveal Holtz standing with one leg on either side of Erin, backlit by the lights above her, and clearly trying to suppress laughter.

“Oh God,” Erin said. Oops, that was supposed to be in her head.

“No, it’s Holtzmann.” The engineer extended her hand and pulled Erin up.

They were standing agonizingly close now. Erin could feel herself sweating profusely, and her face was most certainly beet red. “You changed your clothes,” Erin said. Her breathing was becoming more laboured. She willed herself to keep her eyes on Holtz’ face and not let them drift down to the tank top, and Holtz’ bare arms, and…

“Wasn’t about to wear good clothes to work on a car. There’s grease everywhere.” Holtzmann still looked like she was trying not to laugh. “You like it?”

Erin’s breath caught. Holtz’ eyes remained unblinking and mischievous. “Not…appropriate…for the workplace,” Erin stammered.

Oh, Jesus. She was screwed. She was metaphorically, and hopefully one day literally, screwed.

Holtz licked her lips, and Erin’s eyes flickered down, hovering on her mouth and those pink, pink lips of hers that looked so soft, and…

“My eyes are up here, Dr. Gilbert.”

Erin snapped her eyes back up. “I’m…I…”

Holtz grinned, and before Erin could register what was happening, Holtz was leaning in, and Erin’s brain went into overdrive. Oh my God. Holtz was going to kiss her. Holtz was going to freaking kiss her, and Erin wanted nothing more in that moment. It scared her how much she wanted it.

She closed her eyes, bracing for contact, and it came…as a boop on the nose from Holtzmann’s finger.

Erin’s eyes flew open, startled and a little horrified at how willing she had just been to kiss Holtzmann.

Holtz was still grinning. “You okay, there?”

“I have to up.” Erin gestured wildly behind her. “Upstairs, I have to upstairs. Go. Upstairs, I have to go upstairs right now. I will—bye. I gotta—” She broke off from what really wasn’t a sentence at all, and ran.

She arrived back upstairs, panting and red, and Abby and Patty looked at her in confusion and a bit of concern.

“Everything okay?” Abby asked.

“GREAT!” Erin shouted.

“Okaaaay…” Abby said. Then, after a pause, “Are you aware that you have grease on your nose?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While you wait for today's second chapter, you should go read Aurora by my incredibly talented beta SwabbieJilly. I helped beta it and I say without a doubt that it's amaziinnggg and so beautifully written and the majority of the writing/betaing process was just me yelling about how much I loved everything. PLEASE go read it and give it some love, because Jillian has been the BEST beta for this fic and I owe a great deal of this fic to her! 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8252053/chapters/18908527
> 
> (I'm a grandma and can't figure out how to hyperlink in the notes. Anyone wanna show me how?)


	6. underneath the electric stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus begins the section of the fic during which I slowly started to lose my mind as I tried to figure out the time progression in the movie and realized that like A QUARTER OF THE MOVIE HAPPENS IN ONE DAY. Helpful hint: movies aren't meant to be analyzed this closely. *bashes head against wall* Anyway, enjoy! Your comments give me life, so keep 'em coming! They're fueling me to finish the last four chapters of the fic, which are the only ones I haven't written yet, so if you want to keep getting updates on schedule you should comment to encourage me to write ;)

Erin had been avoiding eye contact with Holtz ever since the incident with the car earlier that day. Holtzmann took that as a positive sign, rather than a negative, that her plan was moving in the right direction. The car incident hadn’t actually been a part of her plan, just a happy accident, but there was no misinterpreting Erin’s reaction to the show she’d put on. She was pretty sure the tank top was the main cause for Erin’s near-breakdown, and she filed that information away in her brain for use at a later time.

Holtzmann was quite sure that Erin would’ve kissed her back had she chosen to kiss her instead of smear grease on her nose. The thought made her ecstatic, but at the time she had been a little scared of the sudden fire in Erin’s eyes. That was a lot to handle. She’d thought that it would take a lot more coaxing to get Erin receptive to the idea of dating Holtz. She didn’t anticipate this.

She was going to use this to her advantage, though. Instead of sickly-sweet compliments and good-natured flirt-teasing, Holtz now intended to ramp up the sexual tension between them until Erin cracked.

She didn’t have much time to do so right now, though. She was too busy trying to modify the car so it was better suited to their needs. This involved stealing the keys out of Patty’s purse and running errands all over town. First she got the car painted, because she liked the idea of the car being white like a ghost. Then she busted out her own artistic skills and painted their logo (well, she had decided it was their logo without telling the others) on the sides. Next she put in a rush order for custom plates (a head honcho at the DMV owed her a favour). Then she parked the car a block away from their headquarters and set to work rigging up some machinery on the top. She didn’t dare do this in the small garage attached to their building. The equipment was basically a nuclear reactor. When that was done, she headed back to their headquarters (the other three were long gone for the day) and fashioned a small ghost ornament for the hood out of some scrap metal. It was nearly midnight when she finished, and she headed back to her apartment, satisfied with all she had accomplished that day.

She crashed for a few hours, then headed back to headquarters bright and early the next morning to resume work on the new proton gun prototype. Erin was the first to arrive, and she looked startled to see Holtz already there, but quickly regained her composure.

“Holtzmann,” Erin said formally, with a cheerful nod of her head. So she was going to pretend it never happened, was she?

“Morning, sunshine,” Holtz replied. “Nice shirt. Is that comfortable?”

Erin looked down at the long-sleeved shirt she was wearing, which looked like it was made of the most itchy and unforgiving material Holtz had ever seen. “It’s alright.”

“I’m digging the jeans, too. Who says you don’t have casual wear? And…no impractical heels? Look at you!”

Erin gave a little half smile. The room fell silent.

“So how long have you been here?” Erin asked finally.

Holtz checked her watch. “About two hours.”

Erin blinked. “You’ve been here since _five_? That’s…God, that’s so early.”

“Oh caffeine, my lord and savior.” Holtz took a sip from her massive thermos to prove her point.

Erin stepped a little closer, clearly relieved that Holtz wasn’t bringing up the previous day’s events. “What are you working on?”

Holtz smiled. “The new proton packs. Wanna see?”

Erin smiled back. “Sure.”

She came all the way up to Holtz’ workbench, leaning over slightly to examine the half-assembled machine on the table. Holtz got another whiff of coconut and it went straight to her brain and short-circuited it. She jerked roughly, bumping the lit blowtorch that she had irresponsibly left standing upright on the table beside her, and it seemed to fall in slow motion towards Erin before brushing her sleeve on its way down.

Holtz snagged it before it could crash to the table, but Erin’s shirt, in all its itchy synthetic glory, was already ablaze.

“SHIT!” Holtz shouted.

Erin let out some sort of panicked shout too, and started clawing the shirt off as the flames licked their way up her arm. She ripped it up over her head and threw it to the ground, stomping on it with her shoe. The flames died out instantly, and then Erin was standing there wearing some sort of undershirt and staring down in horror at her ruined shirt.

“I didn’t know people still wore undershirts like that,” Holtz said.

Erin crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. “You just lit my shirt on fire. You don’t get to tease me right now.”

She was right. “I’m sorry,” she said, and she hoped Erin could tell she meant it.

Erin’s expression softened. “It’s okay. It was an accident. A preventable accident, but still an accident.”

“I was careless.” Holtz tugged on her ear. “You could’ve got hurt.”

“Hey,” Erin said lightly, “it’s okay, Holtz. I didn’t get hurt. I just…don’t have a shirt. That’s all.”

Holtz perked up. “I can help with that! I have a box of clothes—mostly old ones that I don’t care about. You can borrow something!”

“Why do you have clothes here?” Erin asked as Holtz walked over and pried open the box.

“Sometimes I get a little grubby, and there are a lot of my clothes that I don’t want to risk being burned or ripped or…covered in grease.” She turned her head slowly to look back at Erin’s reaction at the reference to the previous day’s events.

Erin swallowed but her expression didn’t waver.

“So I started keeping extra clothes around so I can change if need be,” Holtz finished.

“Smart.”

“Comes in handy when I accidentally destroy other people’s clothes, too.” Holtz sifted through the box and held up an oversized concert shirt with a hole across the boob and held it up.

Erin made a face. “Anything with fewer holes?”

“Uhhhh…” Holtz continued to dig. Eventually her fingers touched soft fabric at the bottom. “Oh, bingo!”

She lifted out the grey MIT hoodie and offered it to Erin. The physicist took it cautiously as if it were a bomb, and inspected it.

“You went to MIT? Or was this a thrift store find?”

“I went to MIT,” Holtz confirmed.

“Wow,” Erin said softly. Ever so slightly, she brought the grey fabric up closer to her nose and sniffed it.

It didn’t escape Holtz’ attention. “It’s clean, I promise. Well. I haven’t washed it in a while. But there should be no major grossness on it anywhere. I usually just wear it around my house, not to work in.” She was rambling.

Erin lowered it, clearly embarrassed. “Oh. I wasn’t worried. I just…um…it smells like you.” Her face coloured a little.

Holtz grinned. “What do I smell like?”

“Fire, mostly. Some sort of cologne. Do you wear cologne?”

“Occasionally.”

Erin looked at the floor and cleared her throat.

“You gonna put it on or just keep sniffing it?” Holtz teased.

“I wasn’t—” Erin’s half-hearted protest cut off with a shake of her head. She put the hoodie on and zipped it all the way up.

A little thrill went through Holtz at the sight of Erin in her clothes, even the clothes that she rarely wore. “It looks good on you,” she said.

“It’s just a hoodie,” Erin said, tugging on the sleeves.

“Yeah, but you look good wearing m—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Erin cut her off. “You’re not allowed to spew any more cheesy one-liners from rom-coms.”

Holtz laughed. “Oh yeah? Who’s gonna stop me?”

Erin took a step closer. “I am.”

Holtz felt herself go a little weak in the knees. “I don’t believe you.”

“Don’t underestimate me,” Erin said, taking another step closer still. “I can fight back. You’re not the only one who knows how to flirt.”

Holtz’ mouth went very dry. Oh, hell. “Put your money where your mouth is, Dr. Gilbert.”

Erin stood there, impossibly close, chest heaving, and _Jesus_ , Holtz was supposed to be the one breaking Erin, not the other way around.

“Morning guys! Did you know that—wait, why does it smell like smoke in here?” Abby’s voice broke them out of whatever moment they had just been having, and they both stumbled away from each other before Abby rounded the corner. She took in the still-smoking pile of fabric that used to be Erin’s shirt, and Erin wearing Holtz’ hoodie, and Holtz standing there shifting her weight from foot to foot. Abby blinked. “You know what, I don’t want to know.”

Holtz hummed, her brain trying to process the shift that had just happened between her and Erin. She threw herself back down at her workspace, muttering about needing to get back to work. Erin retreated to the other side of the room to work. Patty showed up a few hours later, and Abby began filling her in on their Aldridge Mansion encounter so she would be up to speed with everything they had done so far. As Holtz worked, she thought about how that was less than a week ago. How had everything changed so much in a week? How was the universe not crumbling around her at the way things were shifting so rapidly? Well, scientifically she knew the answer.

She worked swiftly to get the new prototype done, and when she was satisfied, she started assembling three more. It was easier once she had figured the first one out. By noon she had four (hopefully) functioning proton packs _and_ a ghost trap that Abby had helped her with. Nobody could ever say that Jillian Holtzmann didn’t get shit done.

She called Erin and Patty over to show off her work.

“Based on the results of the subway field test…” She gestured at Erin. “The one where you were almost killed, remember?”

Erin nodded once. “I remember.”

Holtz went on to explain all the modifications she had made, pointing with her precision tweezers, feeling a zing of pride go through her when Erin said “Wow!”

“Whadda you say we go out in the alley and test one of these bad boys?” Holtz said.

Abby insisted on gearing herself up with protective wear before using the machine. Holtz didn’t blame her—years of working in a lab together had yielded more accidental injuries than Holtz would care to admit.

“I just wanna say what an exciting moment this is,” Erin said once they were outside. “Holtzmann, I am beyond impressed.”

Holtz shot her a sly wink and patted her arm. She gave Abby the appropriate instructions for use, and the sound of the proton pack running was music to her ears. She pointed out the crudely drawn ghost target she had set up and stepped back to let Abby do her thing.

She watched in horror and a little fascination as the impact of the device through Abby around the alley. Okay, oops, she had overcompensated on the power a little. Easily fixable.

Finally, the pack ran out of juice and Abby walked back over to them, shaking a little but seemingly no worse for wear.

“Well that was interesting,” Abby said. “You took the request for more power a little too much to heart, Holtzy.”

“I’ve been told can be a little too powerful,” Holtz replied, then winked at Erin.

“Y’all are crazy,” Patty said.

Holtzmann helped Abby out of the pack and bounded back upstairs to fix the power on it and the other three. Abby ordered some pizza for lunch, and by the time the delivery driver arrived with it, Holtz had finished the modifications. By that point she was ravenous—had she eaten breakfast that morning?

She tore into a slice right away, burning her tongue on the cheese. Erin must’ve done the same, because she dropped her own slice onto her plate immediately.

“Ouch, that’s hot!”

“Are you sure it’s not just you?” Holtz quipped.

“Funny. But we both know I’m not the hottest one in the room.” Erin held Holtz’ eye contact for a few intense seconds before turning her head and pointing. “Kevin is. Right Kev?”

“I thought that was going someplace else,” Abby muttered under her breath.

Kevin had looked up from his desk at the sound of his name. “Yeah boss? Is the phone ringing?”

“Does it…does it sound like it’s ringing?” Erin asked.

Kevin rubbed his eyes. “I don’t think so, but that’s why I asked.”

“No, it’s…it’s not ringing.” Erin sighed and turned back to them.

They ate their lunch and chatted. Patty asked about how long they had all known each other, and Holtz launched into the rousing tale of how she had met Abby and then they alternated telling the stories of some of the crazy antics they had shared.

“And that’s how Abby ended up with half an eyebrow and mild chemical burns, naked in the middle of Times Square,” Holtz finished. Abby just nodded her confirmation.

Patty laughed hysterically.

“So how did the two of you guys meet?” she asked Erin and Abby once she had calmed down.

“Uh, Abby transferred to my high school junior year.”

“Go Karate Cats!” Abby said. She started cleaning up their plates. “We started telling ghost stories and we just kinda bonded right away. And all the other kids were, you know, getting drunk and going to parties and we’re like uhh that’s stupid.” She got up to go throw out their plates.

“Plus we weren’t invited to any parties,” Erin added.

Holtz made a face. This was all very interesting. This was the most she had ever heard about Erin and Abby’s friendship.

Abby stopped. “Oh! You know what I got? Oh y’know, I’m not going to tell you, I’m just going to show you. You’ll see.” She gestured as she walked away, clearly excited about something.

“So,” Patty said, “How did y’all get into ghosts? Did one of you see one?”

Holtz cocked her head, interested to hear Erin’s answer. From what she’d read in _Ghosts from our Past_ , the answer was yes.

“Yeah, I did,” Erin confirmed.

Holtz arranged her expression into one of shock, like this was her first time hearing of this and she _hadn’t_ read about it in the book half a dozen times in the hopes of uncovering some truths about the mysterious Dr. Erin Gilbert (before she met her, of course).

“Really?” Holtz said. She picked up her soda as Erin began telling the story.

“When I was eight years old, the mean old lady that lived next door died.” Erin stared at the space between them, but she seemed in another world entirely, like what she was seeing wasn’t them at all. “That night, I woke up, and she was standing at the foot of my bed. Just staring at me.”

Holtz took a loud pull of soda.

“She did that every night for almost a year.”

“What?” Patty said softly.

“Whaaa?” Holtz said. That part of the story she hadn’t heard. A _year_?

“And I told my parents, and they didn’t believe me.” Erin sounded so dejected. “Still don’t believe me,” she corrected herself sadly. She looked like she was trying really hard not to cry. Holtz’ heart broke. All she could do was stare in horror as Erin continued. “I had to go to therapy for years, and the kids at school found out, and they would laugh at me, and make fun of me, and call me ‘Ghost Girl.’” Erin laughed weakly, like it didn’t bother her, but Holtz could see the pain in her eyes. “Abby was the only person who believed me.”

Holtz felt her face fall as that sunk in. Erin had spent her life—up until about a week ago, Holtz realized suddenly—having people not believe her and probably even herself doubting whether or not it had happened. And she was bullied to boot? Teased relentlessly? Which…fuck…was exactly what Holtz had been doing from the moment she met Erin. Her stomach dropped out on her. Oh God. What had she done? What if it was really bothering Erin? What if she thought Holtz was just messing around with her, like Abby had thought? Holtz resolved in that moment to make sure that Erin knew she was flirting sincerely. That thought kind of terrified her, because hiding behind a heavy layer of humour was what protected her from getting hurt, but not hurting Erin was more important.

Starting now. She had to cheer Erin up.

“Kids is mean, man, but I believe you,” Patty said.

“Thanks,” Erin said with a small smile.

“I have some questions,” Holtz joked, but immediately followed it up with a wink to show Erin that she was kidding and let her mouth spread into a warm smile in the hopes that Erin would see her good intentions. She had always been particularly fond of deadpan humour that left the listener wondering whether or not she was joking (and she was very skilled at it, too), but she wasn’t going to do that to Erin any more. Mind games were probably not good for someone who clearly had some psychological trauma.

Her attempt at diffusing the situation worked. Erin laughed, albeit a little half-heartedly. “It was a long time ago,” she said.

Abby had returned to the table with a photograph in her hand. “Okay, ready?”

“Oh no,” Erin said.

“I found this in a box when we were moving.” Abby flipped the photo over so they could see it. In it was what was presumably a young Abby and Erin standing in front of a science fair board.

“Oh, my…” Erin covered her mouth with her hand as Patty cackled.

Holtz reached out and took the photo from Erin and studied it closer. Her heart swelled at the sight of a baby-faced high school Erin Gilbert, looking suitably awkward and standing with her black turtleneck tucked into her pants. She couldn’t help but smile. God, at least Erin had had Abby back then. That must’ve been so huge for her after having nobody for so long. Now that she thought about it, Erin’s story wasn’t that different from her own story. She too had been alone until Abby. Abby was a gift to this world, truly.

She must’ve missed something while she was zoning out thinking, because suddenly Abby was clapping her hands and running away and Erin was shouting “Wait, you have it?” after her.

Abby returned with the science fair poster from the photo and two black turtlenecks. She handed one to Erin. “Think we can still remember the presentation?”

Erin stared down at the turtleneck in awe. “I think I remember it.”

And that is how Holtz ended up watching what was possibly the most spectacular choreographed number in existence.

“Thank you for requesting this,” Holtz said to Patty. Cool dance moves aside, she was struck by how happy Erin looked now, especially compared to a few minutes prior. It was almost an exact replica of how Erin must’ve changed from before she knew Abby to after. The thought made Holtz get a little teary-eyed.

The dance came to an end with a spectacular finish, and Holtz stood, slow clapping as she walked towards them. She put a hand on each of their shoulders and stared right into Erin’s eyes.

“I’m so goddamn happy you two are back together,” Holtz choked out, overcome with emotion. She moved her hands up to the sides of each of their faces and gently pushed them together, revelling in the feeling of Erin’s hair and skin under her hand. She momentarily zoned out again, picturing what it might be like to cup Erin’s jaw in _another_ context. Her thumb twitched almost involuntarily and stroked the soft skin of her cheek just infinitesimally enough that Erin might not have noticed. She was only half conscious of Patty saying something behind her and Abby patting her back.

Then she noticed the TV monitor beside them, running the footage from their subway escapades. She pointed it out, and the four of them watched as Martin Heiss singlehandedly discredited the ghost _and_ the sanity of the ‘Ghostbusters,’ as the interviewer called them. Personally, Holtz thought that was a far more interesting name than the one Erin had come up with, but she would go along with it to make her happy.

“So now _we’re_ the Ghost Girls. I feel your pain, Erin,” Patty said.

“No. You know what? Screw that.” Erin turned to face them, determination in her eyes. “We are scientists! Plus Patty.”

“Thank you.”

“We believe in _provable_ , physical results.” God, she was hot when she got all passionate like this. Holtz could hardly contain herself.

The phone started ringing.

“That’s what we believe in,” Erin continued.

“Yes we do!” Abby said.

“Preach,” Patty said.

The phone was still ringing.

“You know what we’re going to do ladies? We’re going to catch a ghost, we’re going to bring…”

Erin trailed off and spun her head around to look at Kevin and the still ringing phone.

“God,” Abby said.

Erin turned back. “We’re going to catch a ghost, bring it back to the lab…Kevin?” She whirled back around.

“Yes boss?”

“Can you answer the phone? That’s ringing? Please?”

“Buddy,” Abby said.

Kevin snapped his fingers. “Yes I can, boss.” He answered the phone. “Uhh, Ghostbusters.”

“Conductors of the Metaphysical,” Erin said quietly.

“Cool, see yah.” Kevin hung up. “Hey guys, which one of these makes me look more like a doctor?” He held up two headshots. “Me playing saxophone or me listening to saxophone?”

“WHO WAS ON THE PHONE?” Abby and Erin shouted simultaneously.

“Uh, the Stonebrook Theater? There’s a goat on the loose.”

There were a few seconds of silence.

“I’m gonna load up the car,” Holtz said. She couldn’t wait to see their faces when they saw what she had done with it.


	7. just come with me and we can shake your blues right away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY DVD RELEASE DAY, FRIENDS! Sorry that this chapter is coming later in the day than usual! I've been travelling all morning. Anyway, I'm sorry (not really) because starting today, there will only be ONE chapter a day instead of two! This is mostly because starting with this one, the chapters are REALLY long, and I don't want to overwhelm you guys! So...good luck with that!

It had already been a whirlwind of a day, and it was about to get even crazier. For the third time in a week, Erin was about to encounter a ghost.

She had already experienced a rollercoaster of emotions that day, and her mood plummeted once more when she heard her name being called by a familiar voice. There, across the street, stood Phil. And, he was gesturing for her to come over.

How did he even find out where she was? More importantly, why? It had been radio silence ever since she had been fired. God. The thought of talking to him made her blood boil.

Curiosity got the better of her as she crossed the street to meet him. She could hear Abby call her name after her.

“Hello Phil,” she said, trying to seem like she was doing just fine without him (which she was). She was very conscious of the fact that she was wearing an old hoodie and jeans. He had never even _seen_ her in jeans before.

“How do you just completely ignore my calls and messages for a week?” he asked.

What the hell? “ _Me_? Ignore _you_?”

“Yeah.”

“You just stood there during the most humiliating moment of my life!”

“Erin, do you think I was going to let you take me down with you? Come on! You understand how important one’s academic career is. Or you used to, I don’t think I know you anymore. Who are you? Who are these people?” He gestured over at Abby and Patty on the other side of the road. “You didn’t tell me about a _book_ that you _wrote_? Now everyone’s saying you’re some sort of crazy ghost hunter?”

She bristled at the word crazy. He had _no right_ to call her that. _Nobody_ had any right to call her that.

“Okay, well first of all, that’s wrong. We don’t _hunt_ ghosts, we stalk them. And we’re very close to trapping one soon. And then we will study it. And do reports on it.” Oh God, she was making this sound like a middle school project.

“So it’s true? What they’re saying about you? Jesus, you _are_ crazy. You should be on medication if you’re that delusional that you think ghosts are real. I’m glad I’m getting the hell out of this relationship and away from you.”

Oh, now she was pissed. “No, you know what? You’re not the one getting out of this relationship. I decided it was over when you chose to pretend you didn’t know me instead of stand up for your girlfriend of _six months._ You are a class A dick, Phil, and I deserve so much better than you. So thank you, for making me realize how awful you are now instead of letting me throw away God knows how long with you in misery when I could be so much happier. In fact, I’ve already met someone else, and that person treats me a million times better than you ever did.” She flushed slightly, realizing how true her words were. Whatever was going on between her and Holtz, already felt so much healthier than her entire relationship with Phil.

She started to turn away, but then turned back with one final thought. “And you know what? I don’t care that people think I’m crazy. I don’t care what you think, or anyone. Because what we’re doing here…what we’re doing is ground-breaking. It’s serious. We’re doing important work.”

A honk drew her attention as their hearse, now painted white, came speeding down the block with sirens blaring on the roof. Seriously? Sirens, Holtz? Patty’s shouting drew their attention. Phil watched the scene with an expression of disgust on his face.

“It’s our sciencemobile, I’ll have you know, and I’m about to go with my science friends and we are about to do real work. So…good day to you, sir.” At that she turned her back on him, hopefully for good, and walked in the direction of the hearse.

“WE ARE LATE, GET IN HERE,” Holtz shouted from the open window of the driver’s seat.

“NOT YOU, PHIL,” Abby called.

Just as Erin reached for the handle, Holtz pulled the car forward a few feet. Really? Then she did it again while she nattered about how Erin needed to get in the car. She could feel Phil’s judging stare on her back.

“Holtzmann, this is not the time,” Erin hissed.

“You are _killing_ me, Erin.”

Erin finally managed to clamber inside the car beside Patty.

“Ooh, we have fun,” Holtz said, then let out a loud whoop that caused Erin to jump.

As they took off down the streets of New York, Patty passed out the jumpsuits she had stolen from the MTA so they could get changed. Erin could feel Holtz’ eyes on her in the rear view mirror as she shrugged off the MIT hoodie and unbuttoned her jeans.

“I saw you talking to Douchey McDouchepants back there,” Holtz said. “Hope you told him where he could shove it.”

“Was that your boyfriend?” Patty asked as she changed.

Erin wiggled her jeans down her legs and kicked them to the floor of the car. “Ex-boyfriend. Complete douche, like Holtz said. And yeah, I basically told him to go screw himself.”

Holtz cheered. Erin pulled her jumpsuit on and zipped it all the way up, trying to hide her smile. Then she was thrown against the side of the car as Holtz went around a corner.

“You drive like a maniac,” Patty said.

“I try.”

Her driving got even more erratic as she started to change, despite their protests that she could do it when they parked.

“I like a challenge,” she said as she shrugged off her leather jacket one arm at a time and proceeded to huck it backwards so it hit Erin square in the face. “Hey Abs, grab the wheel for a second, would you?”

Abby dutifully took ahold of the wheel while Holtz pulled her t-shirt over her head, revealing a simple black sports bra underneath. Erin’s heart sped up a little. Holtz grabbed the steering wheel again and tossed the discarded garment back at Erin as well.

“Stop it!” she said.

Holtz met her gaze in the rear view mirror and winked, right before announcing loudly that her pants were coming off.

“You’re going to kill us,” Patty said.

“I might kill Erin,” Holtz said, “I don’t know about the rest of you.”

“Oh my God,” Erin muttered.

Erin stared purposefully out the window while Holtz fumbled in the front seat.

“Pants are off!” she proclaimed after a minute.

“Holtzmann, stop looking at Erin and pay attention to the damn road,” Patty said.

Erin blushed but didn’t allow herself to move her gaze from out the window.

“Should I try to get the leg holes over your feet to get you started?” Abby asked.

“Hmm, maybe,” Holtz replied.

“I’m seeing entirely too much of you for this early in our friendship,” Patty said loudly.

“You know you love it, Pattycakes.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You’ll warm up to it.”

There was more fumbling and finally the sound of a zipper being pulled up. Erin breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hey Erin, you can stop pretending like there’s something interesting outside. I’m not naked anymore.” Erin could hear the grin in Holtz’ voice.

“Yeah Erin, you’re being hilariously unsubtle,” said Abby.

Luckily, Erin was saved from having to answer, because with a final lurch, they came to a screeching stop outside the theater that had called. Holtz rolled out four proton packs and they all suited up. Oh God, Abby was right—that was _heavy_.

They got into the venue and a very flustered man explained what had happened, then left them to hunt down the ghost. Despite the concert upstairs, it was strangely quiet as Erin wandered around, holding her gun in her hand, watching for movement.

And of _course_ Holtzmann was waiting to scare her. After she removed the garish wig and Erin got her heart started again, they took off together down the hall.

“Hey, Erin?” Holtz said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“This is probably a really inappropriate time, but we’re alone, and there’s something I need to tell you.”

She looked so serious, but Erin was half-expecting a joke to follow.

“What is it?” she asked, keeping her voice light and indifferent, just in case a joke _was_ coming.

Holtz inhaled roughly. “Uhh, here’s the thing. I—”

A burst of static from their walkie-talkies interrupted her.

“Guys, I think I got another one of those devices,” Abby’s voice, crackly and distant, came through. She told them her location and they took off jogging.

“What did you want to tell me?” Erin said as they ran.

“I’ll tell you later,” Holtz said, sounding almost…embarrassed. That was weird.

They reached the room that Abby was in and examined the device. This one was running, casting off blue light and sparks of electricity. They had just started debating what it could be for when Patty started screaming down the hall and burst into the room a few seconds later, then slammed the door shut behind her. Erin watched in horror as a mannequin tore its way through the door, confirming their theories on spectral possession. _Yes_. There was no better feeling than proving a theory right.

Now she just had to trap the ghost, and everything would be right with the world.

The new proton packs had way more power than the one she had tried in the subway, she realized quickly, but Holtz had toned them down from the alley test earlier. The way the room lit up red from their proton streams sent a little bit of a chill down her spine. Okay, this was really cool.

They only got a flash of the green monster before it took off. They raced after it upstairs and watched it hover above the concert. As soon as it threw the lead singer across the stage, they rushed out. Suddenly facing thousands of screaming metal fans. That was…intimidating. Now was not the time for stage fright, though, and soon they all had their proton streams directed at the ghost. Their efforts weren’t working as well as they’d like, so Abby and Patty tried (unsuccessfully) to use the crowd to move them closer.

Well, Patty managed to successfully get closer to the ghost. A _lot_ closer.

“Patty, just STAY. STILL,” Erin called.

“Just don’t hit Patty anywhere important,” Abby said.

“WHAT?”

“NOTHING!”

They lit up their proton streams again and entangled them around the ghost. Holtz set down the trap and kicked it into the middle of the stage, counted down, and opened it. The open trap glowed white and Erin was momentarily distracted by how beautiful of a piece of technology it was before remembering that she had a ghost at the other end of her proton stream.

“Erin, you’re doing great,” Holtz called. Erin felt a rush of pride go through her.

They forced the beast lower and lower before he got sucked into the trap and Holtz closed it with a stamp of her boot. As Abby and Patty ran back to the stage, Holtz lifted up the smoking trap and gave Erin an incredulous look.

“Did we just catch a ghost?” Erin panted, out of breath.

“Oh yeah, yeah. WE PUT A GHOST IN A BOX!” Holtz roared, and Erin started bouncing in excitement.

Oh my God, they had done it. They had trapped a ghost. She threw her hands up overhead and shouted “Yes!”

All those people saying she was crazy. She had proof—indisputable proof—that ghosts were real. She was going to be able to properly document this. Everyone would believe them.

And as they exited the theater to fans cheering and clamouring for high fives, and half a dozen reporters shoving microphones in their faces, it became clear that people already did believe them. Erin had never felt such a high before.

“We’re the Ghostbusters!” she shouted.

After about ten minutes of soaking up the attention, the four of them piled back into the hearse (Holtz declared that she had named it the Ecto-1) and drove back to headquarters. As soon as they got there and carefully set the ghost trap down, Holtz had begun scurrying around gathering parts and gleefully muttering about modifications to the packs.

“Okay, _you_ can work. We’ll be over here partying,” Abby said, and hit play on Holtzmann’s boom box, cranking up the music that started playing.

“Excuse you, who says those are mutually exclusive?” Holtz said.

One song turned into another, and another, and another, and soon they had a full fledged dance party on their hands while Holtzmann tinkered hastily with the proton pack. Erin found herself really letting loose for the first time in—God, who knew how long—and she danced with abandon, her words to Phil earlier echoing in her brain.

_I don’t care what you think, or anyone_.

For once in her life, it was true. She didn’t care what anyone thought of her. She was going to dance her heart out, even though she knew her dancing was a little goofy. She deserved to dance without care.

She caught sight of Holtzmann thrusting against her worktable and her eyes widened. She spun around before anyone could notice and found the perfect cover: Kevin.

She roped him in and started dancing against him when Patty walked away, and he lost interest as soon as her hands touched his waist and started to leave.

“Get it. Get it,” Holtzmann said.

Erin blushed a little as she walked back to Holtz’ table where the others were gathered. Giddy, she couldn’t help but lift up the ghost trap and press her lips to it.

“Oh my God.” Abby stood and shut off the music. “You have to stop kissing this.” She pulled the trap from Erin’s hands. She had done it in the car earlier too.

“It just makes me feel so warm and tingly inside,” she said.

“That’s probably the radiation,” Abby said.

They all burst out laughing. Holtz silenced them by clipping her precision tweezers at them, and proceeded to show them all the modifications she had made to the proton pack sitting in front of her. Erin couldn’t disguise how impressed she was that Holtz had done so much so quickly. Hell, she had rebuilt the entire wand of the pack in the half an hour since they had arrived back at headquarters.

She was so cute when she was excitedly explaining her inventions, practically stumbling over her words in her haste to get them out. How could one woman go from mind-blowingly hot to heart-meltingly adorable in the span of two minutes? It was unfair, and, frankly, it was ruining Erin. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could deny her attraction to Holtz. This was rapidly spiralling into a full-blown crush. There was just something about her that pulled Erin in and made her want to be around the kooky engineer at all times. Stupidly, she wondered if Holtz had invented some sort of device that actually magnetized Erin to her. There was just something there that Erin couldn’t put her finger on. She didn’t understand it. She wasn’t sure if she _wanted_ to understand it. She just wanted more of the feeling that she got whenever she was around Holtz.

She was pulled from her thoughts (which were starting to scare her a little) by Kevin.

And, then her good mood disappeared instantly.

Martin Heiss was there. Martin Heiss was crossing the room. Martin Heiss was looking at her like she was worthless. Martin Heiss was taking a seat in their lab.

Martin Heiss didn’t believe them.

Still.

Even though they had _proof_.

She needed to show him. She couldn’t let one more person tell her she was crazy. Her need for others’ approval slammed back into her in an instant. She was an idiot to ever think she could shake it that easily.

“I know it probably sounds like we’re making this up.” And boom, with those words she was eight years old again. How many times had she said that in her life? To her parents? To her therapists? To the kids at school?

Him insinuating that she wasn’t a proper scientist was the last straw. She was going to show him the damn ghost. As the others suited up, Abby tried to argue with her and stop her from letting it out. Erin knew she wouldn’t be able to explain herself. Abby had never given a crap what anybody thought of her. She didn’t need approval like Erin did.

So she stepped on the control and opened the trap.

And for a few seconds she thought that they hadn’t captured the ghost after all.

Then it burst out and threw Martin Heiss out the window.

Erin felt like she was in a bit of a trance as the police and ambulances arrived. She was only half processing things as a police officer questioned them. She had never been more terrified. What was going to happen to her? Would the others name her as the one who had inadvertently sent him flying out the window? Would she be arrested? Would they all be arrested?

The arrival of two very official looking men was both a relief and not at the same time. When they revealed that they were from the mayor’s office and that the team was to go with them immediately, Erin’s anxiety only skyrocketed.

Abby and Patty ended up in the back of one of the black SUVs and Erin and Holtz in the other. For once, Erin wasn’t thinking about Holtz despite the close proximity. Well, she was kind of thinking about Holtz, especially when the engineer reached out and placed one hand on Erin’s thigh to still the nervous-bouncing it was doing. Maybe in another context, a thigh-touch would’ve sent Erin into a tizzy, but the gesture was more calming than arousing.

“It’s going to be okay,” Holtz said gently.

Erin shot a panicked glance at her. Holtz’ face was smooth, calm, and there was concern in her eyes.

“You don’t know that,” Erin replied, and her voice was almost a whine.

“Erin, whatever happens, it will be okay. Whatever he has to say to us, we can handle.” Holtz let go of Erin’s thigh and reached out to take her hand and interlace their fingers. She gave it a soft squeeze. “I’ve got you, okay?”

A lump formed in Erin’s throat. She nodded. Who was this gentle and calming Holtz? Gentle and calming were two adjectives that didn’t even belong in the same room as Jillian Holtzmann. Erin wondered if this was a side of her that not many people got to see.

When they pulled up outside the building, Erin didn’t want to get out _just_ because she didn’t want Holtz to let go of her hand. Holtz must’ve been able to sense this, somehow, or she was feeling the same way, because as soon as they got outside, she took Erin’s hand again. They kept them laced together as they entered the building, earning them some curious looks from Abby and Patty, and only broke apart right before they entered the mayor’s office.

They took their seats in the four chairs that had been set up for them, and right away Erin started rambling about how they weren’t frauds. When the mayor interrupted her to say that they knew they weren’t frauds, Erin felt such profound relief hit her that she could feel her entire body relax.

They started explaining what they had started to piece together about the devices and the ghosts accompanying them.

Hearing the mayor say that he thought they were doing great work and then in the same breath tell them they needed to stop was dizzying.

And then: “We’re going to have to make the public believe that you are frauds.”

All the air in Erin’s lungs was slapped right out of her. _Make_ them believe it? Not let them make their own judgements?

She had finally gotten the one thing she had spent her whole life hoping for, and now it was about to be taken away from her. How did they even plan to convince the public that it was a hoax? There had been thousands of witnesses! This wasn’t just one of their videos.

Abby talking down to her, as if she didn’t understand what they were saying, was frustrating as hell. She knew what they wanted to do, but she thought it would be so much easier to leave things as they were.

But before she could argue with them any more, the four of them were dismissed and being escorted back outside by the men from Homeland Security, and she was once again sitting in the back seat of one of the SUVs with Holtz.

“That could’ve gone worse,” Holtz said.

“Could’ve gone worse? Are you serious? They’re painting us as frauds! Doesn’t that bother you?”

Holtz shrugged. “We still get to do our work, right? They could’ve shut down our whole operation and taken away all of our tech.”

“You would’ve just built more,” Erin pointed out.

Holtz grinned. “Hell yeah, I would’ve.”

“This just sucks. So much.” Before Erin could stop herself, she was crying.

Holtz’ face fell. “No, no, don’t cry! Erin…”

“For once, people actually believed me. You know? I wasn’t crazy anymore. I wasn’t Ghost Girl. And now they’re forcing me into being Ghost Girl again.” Erin sniffled roughly and wiped the tears off her face with the sleeve of her jumpsuit.

Holtz’ hand landed on her arm. “But you’re not Ghost Girl. You’re Dr. Erin Gilbert, the first scientist to prove the existence of the paranormal. Nobody can take that away from you, Erin, especially not some stuffy men in suits.”

Erin met Holtz’ eyes and felt her lip waver at the sincerity there. “Thank you, Holtz.”

Holtz’ face softened into a gentle smile. “What can I do to cheer you up?”

At this point, Erin had mostly stopped crying. She wiped the rest of the moisture from her face and gave a half-shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t know if you can.”

Holtz looked pensive. “I feel pretty confident that I can. Hmm. I wonder if—oh! I know! I have a box full of some pretty cool side arms that I cooked up the other night when I couldn’t sleep. What if we go test those out? Pretend to fight some ghosts? Get that high back?”

“I dunno, Holtz. I don’t think I’m in the mood.”

Holtz looked pretty crestfallen.

“Actually,” Erin said quickly, “Maybe that’s just what I need. What kind of side arms?”

“Oh, they’re awesome. If they work like they’re supposed to. Pretty sure they will.”

“You said you made them in the middle of the night?”

“Relax, they’re completely safe. I could make them in my sleep. Actually…I may have made them in my sleep. Anyway, no, I’ve had the blueprints kickin’ around in the old noggin for quite some time, but I had no real reason to make them until a few nights ago.”

“And you made them while also managing to build four proton packs, a ghost trap, _and_ do whatever it is you did to our car?”

“Holtz _mann_ or Holtz _machine_?” she replied with a grin.

“You’re amazing,” Erin blurted.

Holtz’ grin widened. “You’re pretty damn amazing yourself, Dr. Erin Gilbert.”

They arrived back at their headquarters and the government men continued to talk down to them before taking off.

They all turned to go into the building, but Holtz threw up a hand to stop them. “Wait. I have something to cheer us all up. Wait here while I go set up?” She darted into the building before any of them could respond.

“I have a horrible feeling about this,” Patty muttered.

A few minutes later, Holtz returned with a box. She winked at Erin before telling them to stay put and disappearing around the side of the building to the alley. Another few minutes later, she came back. “Okay ladies, follow me.”

Abby must’ve picked up on what Holtz was doing, because as they walked into the alley she said, “Now the mayor said we could continue our work and so we shall.”

Holtz led them to a stack of milk cartons with a piece of wood laid across it.

“We gotta be prepared, and that’s why I’ve made a table of treats.” Holtz gestured to the array of weapons in front of her. Oh my God, had she made those all in one sleepless night? She really _was_ incredible. And quite possibly a machine.

“Erin, you’ve had a hard day. Step right up, pick a gun, any gun.” Holtz draped herself back onto the makeshift table and Erin couldn’t help but smile goofily at her. Holtz was right, this _was_ cheering her up.

She reached for the largest gun on the table. “NOOO!” Holtz shouted, so suddenly and violently that Erin dropped the gun and jumped. “I’m sorry, not that gun. That one’s not ready. It’s yours when it is.” Then why the hell did she put it on the table?

“Here,” Holtz said, reaching out to touch her elbow with one finger, “in the meantime, this.” She pulled something small and red out of her pocket and handed it to Erin slowly, carefully. The gentleness with which she transferred it into Erin’s hands gave her the sense that it was either highly unstable or highly dangerous. Or both.

“Wow, what does it do?” Erin said, turning it over in her fingers.

“It’s a Swiss Army knife,” Holtz said, staring intensely into her eyes. “No woman should walk around unarmed.”

Oh, nevermind. It was just a joke. “I know what it does.” Erin made a face and dropped the knife into her own pocket.

“Also, here.” Holtzmann bent past her to grab another one of the devices from the table and pass it to Erin. “Why don’t you take this.”

“Yeah?” Erin examined the device. It looked like a grenade. Was it a grenade?

“Give that a toss. That’s going to send up a little poof.” Holtz pushed her forward, and Erin was a little distracted for a moment by the feeling of her hand on the middle of Erin’s back. “It’s only dangerous to ghosts.” Holtz backed away.

“Alright,” Erin said. She pushed the button on the device (which was definitely a grenade) and tossed it as hard as she could into the alley. For a few seconds there was nothing, and then it exploded in a cloud of red and purple light and smoke. Erin ducked and covered her head, then looked back just in time for it to explode a second time.

“Yeah, my mistake,” Holtz said as charred newspapers rained down. “It was a medium poof.”

That woman was crazy, Erin decided, and she kind of loved it.

After Patty and Abby had tested two of the other side arms, both of which were equally as cool (yet equally as destructive), and Holtz had proclaimed that they’d had a successful test, Abby and Patty started heading back inside. Erin lingered back and watched Holtz pack up the remaining gadgets.

“Thank you,” Erin said. “Your plan to cheer me up worked.”

Holtz set her box down on the ground and grinned. “Success!”

“And thanks for the, uh, Swiss Army knife.” Erin reached into her pocket and closed her fingers around the smooth body of the knife.

“Of course,” Holtz said. “I don’t really think you need it, pretty sure you can handle yourself just fine unarmed, but better safe than sorry.”

“Well, thank you. It’ll be good to have. Even if it’s not very useful for fighting ghosts.”

“You never know,” Holtz said.

Erin’s thumb ran over a raised bump in the plastic of the knife. Brow furrowed, she pulled it out of her pocket to examine what it was. There, etched into the red plastic, were the tiny initials _JH_. She tried to process that for a few seconds, then she looked up to meet Holtz’ suddenly bashful gaze. Since when was Holtz _bashful_ about anything? “Is this…was this _yours_?” Erin asked.

Holtz tugged on her ear and nodded, dropping her gaze.

“Why would you give me your knife?”

Holtz didn’t answer or look up. She scuffed her boot along the ground.

“Holtz?”

The engineer’s eyes snapped up. “Erin, I’m not good with emotions.”

“O…kay? What does that—”

Holtz reached out to take the knife from Erin and fiddled with it as she started to speak, low and fast like her mouth couldn’t keep up with her brain. “I wanted to tell you how much I lo—care about you, and I didn’t know how to say that, so I thought maybe I could show it to you instead. And I thought maybe this was the perfect gift for that, because it shows that I care about you enough to give you my own Swiss Army knife, which I’ve had since I was 8, by the way, and I _want_ you to have it, I really do, because it’s kind of a little piece of my heart, and also I want you to have it so you’re safe, because in such a short amount of time you’ve come to mean so much to me, and _fuck_ , Erin, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you, so I need you to be safe, and this just seemed like the perfect way to tell you that—”

And Erin, having heard more than enough, cut off Holtz’ rambling by throwing herself at the engineer and pressing their lips together with a fervour that she didn’t even know she was capable of. Holtz stiffened for only a fraction of a second, and then there was the very distinct noise of a Swiss Army knife hitting concrete and Holtz melted into her, wrapping her arms around Erin’s waist and pulling her closer until there was no space in between their bodies. Erin’s hands moved to cup Holtz’ face as she kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her some more, and something inside of her clicked into place like the solution to a stubborn equation. A missing number that she hadn’t seen before.

She realized what it was, then, that magnetism that she had been contemplating earlier: it was this. This was what had been drawing her towards Holtz. This was the pull: it was the universe pulling every atom in her body towards the person she was meant to be with, now and eternally. It was the universe rearranging itself into the only thing that made sense.

Because as soon as her lips had hit Holtz’, she _knew_. It wasn’t even a conscious realization in her head; it was every molecule inside of her realizing that she had been waiting for _this_ her whole life without even knowing it.

This kiss with Holtz wasn’t just the best kiss she’d ever had. It didn’t just feel more _right_ than anything she’d ever experienced. It wasn’t just the instantaneous understanding that she’d found her soulmate.

This kiss was _everything._

Holtz was _everything_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Suffer with me, Holtzbitches" -my beta Jillian who had to wait DAAAYS while I wrote the next chapter and thinks that you guys can definitely survive one day to find out what happens next
> 
> See ya tomorrow ;)


	8. you'll be doing fine once the music starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! I nearly made myself keel over from the cuteness in this chapter whilst writing it, so good luck with that.

Erin Gilbert was kissing her.

At first, that was all that Holtz’ brain could think, and then it couldn’t think anything at all. It couldn’t process the feeling of Erin’s lips on hers and the soft brush of Erin’s fingertips along her jaw and the warmth of Erin’s back through her jumpsuit under Holtz’ hands. Her brain couldn’t process all that at the same time as thinking, because this was too much, and so it shut down completely, and every single one of Holtz’ senses came online instead. And she might have to dull those soon, because she had never known the meaning of the phrase ‘sensory overload’ more until this moment.

Erin Gilbert was kissing her.

It was too much.

It was everything all at once.

And she never wanted it to stop.

Holtz had kissed and been kissed by lots of girls in her life. Some guys too (although she always regretted those ones). She had had some pretty incredible kisses in her life.

None of them touched this one. None of them were even in the same stratosphere. She didn’t know if it was because Erin Gilbert was an amazing kisser or if it was the mere fact that it _was_ Erin Gilbert, and Holtz was half in love with her—except shit, she realized now that she was much more than half in love with Erin. She was without a doubt, totally and completely in love with Erin Gilbert.

Who was kissing her.

Right now.

Erin made some sort of gasping noise and her hands slowly slid up from Holtz’ jaw to tangle in her hair without letting their lips break apart.

When Holtz had pictured their first kiss, she has assumed it would be all fire and passion, frantic and sloppy movements as they proceeded to rip each others’ clothes off.

This was better.

Erin’s kiss was raw and desperate, but patient. It was like she _needed_ to kiss Holtz, but she was in no rush, like she thought they had all the time in the world.

It was simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.

Because, Holtz realized, if Erin had kissed her when she was working on the car, or in another moment of arousal and peaked sexual tension, Holtz wouldn’t have been able to tell if Erin liked her or was just attracted to her. There was a big difference. Holtz had been with many women who had given in to their attraction to her, but none of them had any interest in sticking around. She was just too weird, too out-there, too emotionally-constipated to be girlfriend material.

Except Erin hadn’t kissed her in a moment of passion. Erin had kissed her after Holtz had been perhaps more vulnerable and open than she had ever been in her life. She had let her guard down, dropped the persona that people had come to expect from her, and then it was just Holtz, laid bare.

And Erin had kissed her.

Erin wasn’t just attracted to her. Erin _liked_ her.

The sound of Holtz heaving a sob startled them apart. When had she started crying? Erin’s eyes were wide and she was breathing heavily and she looked dismayed at the tears running down Holtz’ cheeks.

“Oh my God, Holtz, you’re—I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No!” Holtz all but shouted. “No, Erin, do not…please don’t apologize, I…” She didn’t know what to say, how to articulate her thoughts into words, so instead she pulled Erin closer and pressed her face into Erin’s chest, letting her tears bleed into the physicist’s jumpsuit.

There was a second or two while Erin didn’t move, and then her hands slide down Holtz’ back and stopped there, embracing her, gripping onto her as tightly and desperately as Holtz was holding Erin.

They stayed like that, folded into one another, no space between them, silent except for Holtz’ quiet crying.

“What’s wrong?” Erin said finally, so softly that Holtz almost didn’t hear her.

Holtz turned her head so that her voice wouldn’t be muffled by Erin’s jumpsuit. “Nothing’s wrong. Oh God, nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why are you crying?” Erin’s voice cracked on the last word.

Holtz straightened up, then, and pulled away just enough that they could see each other’s faces without losing any of the closeness. Erin looked profoundly concerned and upset, and her own eyes were a little shiny. Holtz sucked in a long and shaky breath.

“Erin. I’m…shit. Okay. When I was honest before it went well, so I’m going to try that again, even though I’m not good at this. Okay. Here’s what…shit.” Holtz moved one hand from Erin’s back and used it to wipe away some of the tears in her eyes so she could see Erin more clearly. She took another deep breath. “Even though I’ve only known you for a week, I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. From the moment I met you I wanted to know everything about you. I’ve liked you since the moment you walked into my lab, and even before that, and I hope I don’t wreck whatever this is by saying that and scaring you away. I’ve fallen for you hard, Erin, and that terrifies me. I’ve fallen for girls before who didn’t like me back, and it ruined me, but nothing I felt for any of them comes even close to the way I feel about you, so I don’t know how I could survive it if you didn’t like me back.”

She was rambling. She needed to stop rambling. “And I knew you were attracted to me, and I thought I would be satisfied with that even if you didn’t actually like me, but now I know that I could never be satisfied with that. And while you were kissing me, I realized that maybe you _do_ like me, and maybe you want to be with me, not just sleep with me, and that thought was so overwhelming because nobody has ever liked me back, and you’re the most important woman I’ve ever fallen for, and the fact that you might like me is just too much for my heart to process right now. And I really hope that I haven’t misinterpreted the situation because on my end, I could feel the universe shifting below me during that kiss, and I really hope that it wasn’t just a kiss for you, because—”

“Holtz.”

She had said too much. She had ruined everything. “What?” she squeaked out.

Erin bit her lip. “You’re right. I do like you. And I want to…um…be with you. Date you. Whatever. I like you, a lot, and it kind of snuck up on me and I don’t think I fully realized how much I like you until I was kissing you. And that was not…” She breathed out. “It was not just a kiss. At all. Whatever just happened between us, I could feel it too. That was…”

“Incredible?” Holtz supplied. That was the best adjective her brain could come up with, because it was currently running around in circles screaming because _holy shit, Erin wanted to date her_.

“Life-altering,” Erin said.

Holtz didn’t know what to say to that, so instead she reached out and ever-so-gently brushed her fingertips along Erin’s cheek, then leaned in to kiss her again.

It was just as overwhelming as the first time.

When they broke apart, Erin touched her own lips with an expression of awe.

“Life-altering,” Holtz confirmed.

They stood there, staring at each other, the lengths of their bodies still touching.

“Hey Holtz?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you be…my girlfriend?” Erin asked shyly.

Holtz felt her face light up. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.” She punched the air excitedly.

Erin Gilbert was her girlfriend.

Erin smiled and giggled, and oh my God, Holtz had the most adorable girlfriend on the planet.

“Should we, um…tell Abby and Patty that we’re…together?”

Holtz cocked her head to the side. She wanted to tell _everyone_ they were together. She wanted to broadcast it on the evening news. “Of course,” she replied. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“I…I don’t know. What if Abby…um…”

Oh, she was worried about Abby’s reaction. “Don’t worry, Abby’s completely supportive. I already asked for her blessing.”

Erin looked around the alley, as if this conversation had happened in the past minute without her noticing. “You asked for her blessing?”

“Not _now_. A few days ago, after the subway incident. I wanted to know if she would be okay with me pursuing you.”

“And she said yes?” Erin sounded a little in disbelief.

“She sure did.”

Erin still looked like she didn’t quite buy it.

“Oh,” Holtz added, “and she even told me about your history, and she still said it was fine.” She winked.

Erin blushed. “She told you about that? I’m going to kill her.”

Holtz grinned. “Should we head inside and tell them before they wonder if we got murdered out here?”

“Come on, we wouldn’t get murdered. We’ve got a box full of weapons and a Swiss Army knife to protect us.” Erin looked around. “Wait, where did that go?”

“Oh. Right.” Holtz looked down to see the knife on the concrete where she had dropped it. She bent to pick it up. “Good thing these are made to last.” She passed it back to Erin, who deposited it into her pocket with a smile. Then she grabbed the box of leftover gadgets, propped it on her hip, and took Erin’s hand in her free one.

The two of them entered the building hand-in-hand, and when they entered the top floor they made no move to break apart. Holtz set the box down on the floor and straightened to see Abby and Patty staring at them with unreadable expressions.

Patty squinted at their clasped hands. “We were beginning to think y’all’d gotten lost out there.”

“No, we were just making out,” Holtz said cheerily.

The looks on their faces were priceless.

“Making out is an exaggeration,” Erin said, shooting her a slightly exasperated look.

Holtz grinned. “What would you call it, then?”

“We kissed.”

“Twice,” Holtz reminded her.

“That was _not_ making out.”

“You’re right. I would very much like to make out with your face, though. Wanna do that?”

A loud throat clear interrupted their playful banter.

“This is worse than the damn flirting,” Patty said, shaking her head. “But man, that didn’t take you guys long.”

Abby was still looking back and forth between them. “So you guys…kissed…and that means…what?”

“We’re together,” Holtz announced proudly. “Erin’s my giiiiirlfriend now.”

Erin blushed and lightly swatted her arm, but she bit her lip like she was trying not to smile. “Yeah. I am.”

Holtz didn’t even try to contain her own smile. She could feel it splitting across from ear-to-ear, and it was making her cheeks hurt. She let go of Erin’s hand and slid her arm around Erin’s waist instead, pulling her closer. Then she couldn’t help herself from standing on her tip toes to press a kiss to Erin’s flushed cheek. She had never had a real girlfriend before, but this all felt instinctual, almost. Natural. _Right_.

“Wow. That’s uh…I’m happy for y’all.” Patty watched them with a strange expression. “Um…you know what, it’s getting late and it’s been a long day. I should really head out…Abby?”

“Yeah?”

Patty widened her eyes and indiscreetly gestured her head at them.

Abby looked at them, then back at Patty, then comprehension dawned on her face. “Ooooh. You want to leave them alone so they can make out. Got you. That’s a good plan. I don’t want to be around for that.”

“Subtle,” Patty said.

“You guys don’t have to leave,” Erin tried, but it was half-hearted. Holtz’ heart soared.

“Oh, baby, we do.” Patty grabbed her coat and headed to leave, clapping Holtz on the shoulder on her way by. “See y’all’s crazy asses tomorrow!”

Abby grabbed her coat too, and came to stand right in front of them. “Please don’t make out against or on top of anything dangerous, okay?”

“I can’t make any promises.” Holtz gave her a two-fingered salute.

Abby rolled her eyes, but then her expression softened. “I’m really happy you guys are together. Really, really happy. I think you’ll be good for one another.”

“Aw, Abby,” Erin said.

“But if either of you hurt the other, so help me, I will kill the responsible party.”

Yeah, Holtz didn’t doubt that.

With one last warning to not burn down the lab, Abby was gone, and then it was just the two of them.

“That went well,” Erin said lightly.

Holtz released her waist and turned to face Erin, taking both her hands in her own. “Just because they said…I mean, we don’t have to…you’ve had a hard day. You can go home too if you want. I won’t be offended or upset. I’m probably going to stick around. But I mean, no pressure, or anything.”

Erin gave a little half smile. “I want to stay. If you want me to, that is.”

“Of course! You’re not tired? It’s been a really, really long day.”

“God, it really has, hasn’t it? My day started off with you setting my sleeve on fire, and that seems like it was ages ago.”

“I did that on purpose so you would notice me,” Holtz lied.

“No you didn’t.”

Holtz grinned. “No, I didn’t. I had to try.”

“I see right through you, Jillian Holtzmann.”

“Somehow, that sentence doesn’t scare me as much as it may have yesterday.”

Erin smiled. “Anyway, yeah, I want to stay. I _am_ pretty drained, though, so is it okay if we just, I don’t know, sit? Maybe talk?” She asked a little anxiously, like she was worried Holtz would say no.

“You’re only allowed to stay if we passionately make out on top of a nuclear reactor,” Holtz joked. “No, I’m kidding, of course we can just sit and talk. I’d love nothing more.” She took Erin’s hand again and led her over to the work bench with the half-assembled proton pack sitting on it from earlier. On the way, she grabbed a chair and dragged it so it was right beside her stool, and they sat down next to one another.

“What do you want to talk about?” Holtz said. Her fingers itched to start tinkering, but she didn’t know if that was rude.

“Oh, anything. We don’t have to talk either, that was just a suggestion. You can work…I can tell you’re dying to.”

“You mean it?” Holtz lit up, one hand already reaching towards her screwdriver.

“Yeah, yeah. Would it be weird if I just sit here and watch you work?” Erin asked.

“That isn’t boring?”

“The opposite,” Erin admitted. “It’s fascinating, watching you work. I wasn’t able to do it much before without it being creepy, but…”

“Really? Fascinating?”

“Yeah,” Erin breathed. “It’s like magic, the way you pull these incredible inventions out of scraps of metal and wire. You’re a genius, Holtz.” She said that with a sort of quiet reverence.

Holtz blinked. She wasn’t used to being complimented. She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just kissed Erin’s cheek again and then got to work.

At first it was distracting, having Erin so close. Not that she minded. But then slowly she sank into her own little world as she tinkered away with the proton pack. She got so lost in her work that she jumped and dropped her screwdriver when Erin’s hand touched her back.

“Shoot, sorry, I didn’t mean to break your concentration,” Erin said. The hand pulled away from her back.

“No, no, it’s fine. Sorry, I got a little in the zone. How long was I working?”

Erin checked her watch. “About half an hour.”

“Yikes. Didn’t mean to freeze you out, there.”

“It’s okay.” Erin smiled.

“You can, uh…you can put your hand back, if you want. I won’t jump this time,” Holtz said.

Erin scooched her chair so she was even closer to Holtz and slid her arm around Holtz’ waist. “Is this okay?”

Holtz’ heart skipped a beat. “Yes.” She softened into Erin’s touch and started working again. “Talk to me about something so I don’t slip into a trance again.”

“What should I talk about?”

“Anything. Yourself. I still feel like there’s so much to discover about you.” And Holtz wanted to know it all.

“Well what do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Holtz answered immediately.

“Can you narrow it down?”

Holtz hummed. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Brown.”

“ _Brown_?”

“It’s earthy,” Erin defended, “I like it.”

“What’s your favourite element?”

“Mercury.”

“Interesting choice.”

“What’s yours?”

“Curium.” Holtz winked.

“Of course.”

And so that continued, on and on, until Holtz finished the rebuilt proton pack. She set down her tools with a flourish.

“Are you done?” Erin asked.

“Well, I still have to rebuild the other three, but yeah, this one’s done.”

“We should order some dinner. It’s almost 8:00.”

“Oh, shit, really? Yeah, we should.”

They agreed to just get some food from downstairs, as it was close and easy. Erin disappeared down there to place an order while Holtz swapped out the finished proton pack for one of the other ones. By the time Erin returned with a bag of food, Holtz had already rebuilt a good portion of it.

She took a break while they ate. When they were done, Holtz half expected Erin to finally go home, but she made no move to leave. They resumed where they had left off, with Erin’s arm tucked around Holtz and Holtz asking Erin a million questions while she worked.

She got the second pack done, and started the third. She wasn’t aware of how late it had gotten until she felt the warm weight of Erin’s head resting on her shoulder. She smiled to herself and asked her next question (favourite breakfast food), but Erin didn’t reply. She was about to say that it wasn’t _that_ hard of a question when she heard Erin’s breathing even out, and she realized that Erin had fallen asleep on her shoulder with her arm still hanging loosely around Holtz’ waist.

Careful not to wake her, Holtz resumed her work more quietly and carefully than before. Soon, she finished the third pack, and the other one was still across the room where she couldn’t reach it. She sat there for a few minutes, wondering if she should wake Erin, because as much as this situation made her heart hum, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stay sitting there all night. But at the same time, she didn’t want to disturb Erin. She’d had an exhausting emotional rollercoaster of a day.

Her decision was made for her when Erin stirred ten minutes later and reached up to sleepily rub her eyes. She yawned as she lifted her head. “Did I fall asleep on your shoulder?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

Holtz nodded. “Don’t worry about it. It was cute.”

“You finished the pack? How long was I out?”

“Half an hour, maybe? Forty-five minutes, tops.”

Erin checked her watch. “Crap, it’s late.”

“You should go home and sleep,” Holtz suggested, even though she didn’t want this night to be over. What if Erin went home and while she slept she realized this was all a mistake?

“I don’t want to,” Erin said.

“Erin, I don’t want you to go either, but you just passed out on my shoulder.”

“If I go home and sleep, will you go home too? Or will you stay here and keep working?”

Ah, damn, she had Holtz there. “Probably stay here and keep working. I only have one more pack to rebuild.”

“I’m not leaving until you leave,” Erin said stubbornly.

Holtz winced. “It’s like trying to say no to a puppy. Okay, fine. We’ll both leave.”

Erin’s face fell. “No, now I feel bad about making you leave the proton pack. What if we both go when you’re done with it?”

“Deal. I’ll try to work quickly.”

“Don’t. I’m not ready to leave you just yet.”

“Don’t worry,” Holtz said softly, “I’m not going anywhere.”

She got the last proton pack done in record time, because Erin looked like she was barely staying awake (and Holtz’ mere three hours of sleep the previous night were catching up to her as well). Even as it stood, it was still past midnight when she set her tools down and jostled Erin awake from where she had fallen asleep again, head resting on her crossed arms on the worktable.

“Whaazzit?” Erin jerked upright.

“Hey, sleepyhead. I’m done. We can leave now.”

“What time is it?”

“After midnight.” Holtz smiled gently. “Guess what? The longest day of your life is officially over.”

Erin reached out and touched her face. “And you didn’t turn back into a pumpkin.”

Holtz laughed and helped pull Erin to her feet. “Let’s go, princess.”

They locked up and stumbled out onto the street. Holtz waved down a cab for Erin.

“Please don’t disappear on me overnight,” Erin said.

“I should say the same to you.” Holtz poked her in the chest. “You’re the one with the history of making a run for it.”

Erin flushed, and Holtz could still make it out in the dark. “You got me there.”

Holtz smoothed a strand of hair away from Erin’s face and leaned in to softly press her lips to Erin’s. When she pulled away, she said, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Don’t let the bed ghosts bite.”

“Night, Holtz,” Erin whispered. And then she climbed into the cab. Holtz stood there for a few seconds, just smiling, and then she headed home herself.

When she woke up the next morning, she was 95% sure that she had dreamed up the events of the previous day in her sleep-deprived state. Captured a ghost? Doubtful. Met the mayor? Unlikely. Kissed Erin Gilbert? Impossible.

She’d always had an overactive imagination, according to every teacher she had ever had.

But then she saw her crumpled up jumpsuit on her bedroom floor, and that meant that they _had_ caught the ghost…did that mean everything else in her head had happened too? No. There was no way Erin Gilbert had kissed her. But…maybe?

With that knowledge, she scooped up her jumpsuit and headed in to headquarters. She got there by 6:00 (she’d slept in) and bounded up the stairs, ready to take on the day and get to work. When she got into their lab, she stopped dead at the sight of the four completed proton packs scattered around. Okay. That didn’t mean the memory of Erin with her arm wrapped around Holtz as she worked on them was true. She had probably just stayed late, alone, and dreamt up Erin being there.

Except…now she wasn’t sure.

She took a seat at her workbench, noting the chair beside her stool, and started building more proton grenades to occupy her mind. Not that she had to think about it that much. She wasn’t sure how long she killed before the sound of someone clearing their throat startled her.

It was Erin, standing there wringing her hands. Holtz let the grenade in her hand clatter to the worktable as she stood.

“Did yesterday…happen?” Erin asked hesitantly.

“I was just about to ask you that. Does that mean it did?”

Erin bit her lip. “It must’ve. So we _are_ dating, then?”

Holtz strolled around her table to meet Erin and grasped her upper arms. “We’re dating,” she repeated in disbelief.

Erin beamed. “Can I kiss you?”

“God, yes.”

Then Holtz rediscovered how _fucking_ incredible kissing Erin Gilbert was. They broke apart, giggly and grinning, some time later.

“Wow,” Erin said.

“I think you just took me to a whole other plane of existence, Erin. How’s that for ironic?”

“Har, har.”

Holtz touched her own lips. “I can still feel your lips _ghosting_ over mine.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m gonna need to _protect the barrier_ around my heart, because you’re stealing it.”

“Oh my God.”

“You agreed to date me. You’re gonna have to get used to a lot of that.”

“If you remember correctly, I was the one who asked _you_ out, not the other way around.”

Holtz nodded. “Good point. Fine. You asked me out so you’re gonna have to get used to a lot of that. Better?”

“Mmm.” Erin pulled her in for another kiss, and Holtz felt her knees go weak.

“Hey, Erin?” Holtz said against her lips.

Erin pulled away, just enough to lean her forehead against Holtz’. “If you say another ghost pun, I’m going to break up with you,” she warned.

“Do you want to go on a date? With me? Right now?” Holtz asked, a little nervously. She didn’t know why she was nervous. Erin Gilbert just made her nervous.

“Right now?” Erin repeated.

“Yeah,” Holtz breathed.

“It’s seven in the morning.”

“Breakfast date? Waffles?”

She recaptured Erin’s lips with her own. She could feel Erin smiling against her lips.

“I’d love that.”

Holtz pulled away abruptly, causing Erin to let out a little whine. She grabbed her hand and tugged her in the direction of the door. “LET’S GO!” she shouted exuberantly.

They ended up at Holtz’ favourite waffle place. Conversation flowed easily between them, which was strange for Holtz—she’d never been particularly skilled at talking to people. As they waited for their food to arrive, she got Erin talking about some of the research she had been doing before she joined them. Holtz found it all fascinating, but she was the most enamoured with the way Erin got so passionate while talking about her work. She propped her head up on her fist and listened intently while Erin explained the theories she was working on.

She trailed off in the middle of a sentence and tilted her head. “You’re staring.”

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” Holtz said. “Because you’re astoundingly beautiful.”

Erin blushed behind the mug of coffee she had just picked up. She tried to hide her smile as she took a sip, but Holtz noticed anyway. “Stop that,” Erin said.

“Complimenting you or staring? Because I’m going to tell you right now, I don’t think I can stop either of those.”

It was true. She couldn’t stop staring. Erin was, objectively speaking, the most beautiful woman in the world. Especially now. She was wearing a pink sweater and jeans, and Holtz was struck by how much _softer_ she looked than she had a week ago. When they had met, she was all stiff tweed blazers and pointy heels, and she had seemed so unhappy. This Erin, who was all pink cheeks and soft edges, giggling into her coffee cup, could’ve been a different person.

Their waffles arrived. Erin had ordered some sort of savoury concoction that had an egg on top, while Holtz had opted for Nutella, strawberries, and whipped cream. She dipped her pinky into the Nutella and painted a moustache on her face.

“Oh my gosh, Holtz.” Erin cracked up, and her laugh was like music.

“Is there something on my face?” Holtz deadpanned.

Erin kept laughing. Holtz grinned and swiped up a dollop of whipped cream, then reached across the table to dab it on Erin’s nose. She froze, her mouth falling open.

“Jillian Holtzmann, you better not have just done what I think you did.”

Holtz smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You got a lil something on your nose though, let me just…” Very deliberately, she crawled half across the table and licked the whipped cream off Erin’s nose. When she sat back down, Erin’s face was even more shocked, and a little impressed.

“Did you just?”

Holtz winked.

“Are you trying to be seductive? Because the mood is kind of ruined by the Nutella moustache on your face.”

Holtz pretended to stroke a beard. “You’re not turned on by this? Even a little?”

Erin snorted and picked up her fork again. “Eat your waffle, Holtz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a bad day so leaving a comment would really brighten my spirits (ghost pun fully intended...am I Holtz?). Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you tomorrow for another 3000 words of ridiculous fluff (and puns, there's a lot more puns).


	9. forget about the worries on your mind (you can leave them all behind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 3000 words of completely ridiculous fluff and I'm not going to lie, it's all filler. This chapter only exists because I needed to break up the previous chapter and the next chapter so I wouldn't have a 12,000 word Holtz chapter. But I'm so glad I was forced to write it because I kinda love what happens in this one. It's so dumb. Enjoy!

If you had told Erin Gilbert a week ago that in one week’s time she’d be on the best date of her life with a woman named Jillian Holtzmann who happened to be her girlfriend, she would’ve laughed in your face. Yet here she was, walking through the streets of New York holding the hand of the brilliant, beautiful nuclear engineer who had somehow agreed to date her.

They arrived back at their headquarters to find Abby and Patty already there. Kevin, too. Wow, that was an impressive feat to have _Kevin_ beat you to work.

Abby smirked at them over her cup of coffee. “Morning, you two. Have a good night?”

“We did it on top of your desk,” Holtz deadpanned.

Patty choked.

“She’s kidding,” Erin said sharply.

“I see you managed to get some actual work done?” Abby gestured to the finished proton packs.

“I’m good at multitasking,” Holtz said with a wink at Erin.

“I bet you are,” Patty muttered.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Erin asked, trying to change the subject.

“Well, we were going to study the ghost we captured, but _somebody_ let it out,” Abby said.

Erin looked at the floor, ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be. Who knows when we’re going to capture an entity like that again? And now it’s back out there in the world! Not to mention Martin Heiss, and—”

“Hey,” Holtz interrupted, “I’m sure Erin feels bad enough. Let’s not beat her down any further, okay?”

Abby looked like she wanted to say more, but she stopped herself when she saw the look that was apparently on Erin’s face.

Holtz was right; she felt horrible. Even with all the joy of the previous night and her date that morning, the knowledge that she had screwed up so tremendously was weighing on her. Not to mention the fact that it was all for nothing, because the stupid mayor was going to make them out to be frauds regardless.

“I’m really sorry, Abby,” she said.

Abby sighed. “It’s okay. I understand why you did it. We’ll bounce back. And we’ll bounce back from all this stuff with the mayor, too. We’re only getting started with our research, and there’s so much we can continue with, even if the public doesn’t believe us.”

Erin nodded, but it was half-hearted. She felt Holtz squeeze her hand.

“Well I know _I_ have tons of work I can still do,” Holtz said. She pulled Erin along with her and sat down at her worktable. Erin took the seat beside her after a moment of hesitation. Holtz immediately got to work, picking up what looked like a half-assembled proton grenade.

Abby got to work at her desk shortly after. Patty hovered around, clearly unsure what she should be doing. She hesitantly poked at some unidentifiable piece of machinery with a curious expression.

Holtz didn’t even look up from her grenade. “I wouldn’t touch that.”

“What?” Patty jumped away like she had been shocked.

“There’s a 40% chance it’ll explode if you do.” Holtz looked up and squinted. “Actually, make that 55%.”

“Is _anything_ in this lab safe?”

Holtz considered that. “Ehhh…Kevin, maybe? Kevin’s probably safe.”

“What was that, boss?” Kevin piped up from his desk.

“Oh, nothing.”

Erin looked over at their receptionist, who was making a paper clip chain. “Kevin, what are you doing?”

“Receptioning,” he answered without a beat.

Patty had come to stand in front of the workstation. “We need to give him something to do.”

Erin looked up at her warily. “What could we trust him with?”

“Uhh.” Patty looked around the room.

“The bathroom,” Erin said suddenly. “He could clean the bathroom. Who knows when it was last cleaned before we moved in.”

“That seems safe,” Patty agreed.

“Hey Kev?” Erin called. “We have a very important job for you. Can you go clean the bathroom?”

“Sure, boss!”

They watched him head into the bathroom.

“Why do I feel like we’re going to regret that?” Patty asked.

“Oh, come on. We need to have _some_ faith in him,” Erin replied.

A second later, there was a crashing noise, and then a very faint ‘Ow, my head.’

Patty shook her head.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, both watching Holtz work.

“You guys are kinda creeping me out,” Holtz said finally, not looking up from the wires she was connecting.

“Sorry,” Erin said immediately. “Patty, let’s find…something to do.”

“Oh!” Patty shouted. “I got an idea last night, but I forgot about it until now. I was thinking that we should fix up the coveralls I got us so they’re more official! Then nobody will mistake us for garbage people.”

“That’s a good goal,” Erin said. “What were you thinking?”

They ended up sitting in one of the booths and sketching out some of their ideas. Apparently, Patty knew a guy who ran a shop that did custom embroidery.

“We should also get matching boots,” she said excitedly. “YO, WHAT ARE Y’ALL’S SHOE SIZES?”

“Patty, you don’t need to shout. Small restaurant,” Abby said. “And 9.”

“I’m an 8,” Holtz called helpfully.

Patty clapped her hands together. “Excellent. I’m going to make some calls.”

Erin left her in the booth and wandered back over to where Holtz was working. She had apparently moved on from the proton grenades to some sort of gun.

Holtz beamed up at her. “Hey.”

“Hi. Need any help?”

“Do you have a secret degree in nuclear engineering that I’m unaware of?” Holtz smirked.

Erin scrunched her face up. “No.”

“Then you can’t help.”

“Right. Of course. Well, I’ll just…leave you to it, then.”

She started backing away, but Holtz caught her by the wrist. “You know what we really need? A place to hang the proton packs. I was thinking over on that wall.” She pointed. “Think you could build something?”

“Of course, yeah!” Erin headed over, determined to make herself useful. She stood in front of the wall and surveyed the area in front of her. She stood there for a minute. She didn’t really know where to begin.

“Need some help?” Holtz called.

“No, I’ve got this!”

She stared for another minute, and then jumped when there were hands on her waist. She felt Holtz rest her chin on her shoulder.

“Are you doing Mind Engineering? I do that sometimes. The trick is to actually do it with your hands too.”

“What?”

“Just me? Okay.”

“I don’t need your help,” Erin said, still staring at the wall.

“Of course not. But things always go faster with a buddy. Why don’t I show you what I was thinking and then we can put it up together?”

Erin thought about protesting some more, but she was pretty sure she couldn’t do it by herself. So she nodded.

Holtz went and grabbed some chunks of metal and held them up, illustrating her plan, and soon Erin was holding them to the wall as Holtz screwed them into place.

Holtz was muttering something about charging when Erin got the idea for nameplates. She didn’t have anything official to make them with, so she grabbed a roll of masking tape and a Sharpie, then started scrawling their names. She reached past Holtz to stick the makeshift name plates to the wall.

“I want ours to be on the same side,” Erin said.

Holtz examined the two pieces of tape with their names on them. She turned to Erin with a suggestive smirk. “Why Dr. Gilbert, are you trying to tell me that you’re a top?”

Erin jutted her chin out, feeling brave. “That’s something you’ll have to find out for yourself.”

Holtz’ mouth fell open. She looked like she was struggling to come up with a response to that, and Erin felt proud of herself.

They were interrupted by Kevin appearing on the other side of the partition between them and the bathroom hallway. “Hey guys? The new swimming pool is leaking.”

“The…what? What swimming pool?” Erin asked.

“In the bathroom,” he elaborated.

They exchanged a quick look of panic, then ran around to see water spilling out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

“What the hell?” Holtz ran in, splashing in the water, and Erin ran in after her to see the toilet completely overflowing. “Erin, paper towels, now!”

Erin ran back out into the main room, tracking watery footprints, and grabbed a roll of paper towels. She tore off a long strip and threw it down to soak up the water in the hall. Abby and Patty had appeared brandishing their own rolls and started helping.

“Kevin, what did you do?” Erin said.

Kevin didn’t look particularly concerned. “Oh, I wasn’t sure how many soaps to put in to clean the toilet. I did five, but the toilet didn’t seem very happy because it started making a swimming pool.”

Abby shot him an incredulous look. “What?”

“He tried to flush five bars of hand soap down the toilet at the same time,” Holtz clarified from where she was bent over the toilet. “Also, does anyone recall seeing a plunger lying around this joint somewhere? I can’t find one.”

“Jesus, Kevin,” Abby said.

“I haven’t seen one,” Erin said.

Holtz frowned. “Well, that’s not good. Erin, do you want to accompany me to go get one?”

“Shouldn’t I stay here and clean up the water?”

Holtz sloshed her way back over to the door. “Abby and Patty can handle that.”

“But what—”

“Just go,” Patty said with a shake of her head. “As long as you don’t make any pit stops to make out. This is a _bit_ urgent.”

And that is how Erin ended up running through the aisles of the closest hardware store after Holtz, who was riding on the back of a shopping cart.

“Holtz! Come back!”

“This is _urgent_ , Erin! You heard Patty! URGENT!”

“I don’t think this is actually saving us time.” Erin stopped to catch her breath and watched as Holtz crashed into a display of keys with the cart, causing the display to quake and send a shower of keys to the floor with a series of metallic clangs that reverberated through the store.

“Shit! Run!” Holtz said. And that’s just what she did, abandoning the shopping cart and leaving Erin alone surrounded by a mess of keys.

“Holtz! Holtzmann! Get back here!”

There was no answer. She crouched and started gathering handfuls of the packages into her arms and heaped them onto the top of the display. There were too many, in a multitude of patterns and sizes, for her to rehang them in their proper slots.

When the floor was clear, she went and hunted down Holtz, who was standing in aisle 7, examining the bulk bins of variously-sized screws.

“Holtzmann! I can’t believe you left that mess for some poor employee to clean up. Haven’t you ever worked retail?”

Holtz leaned against the row of screw bins and smirked. “I really _screwed_ up this time, didn’t I?”

“Was that a screw pun?” Erin’s eyes narrowed.

“Sorry. Was that inappropriately-timed humour? I can never tell. God, I’m such a _screw-_ up.”

Erin pointed in the vague direction of the display a few aisles over. “Go rehang the keys where they’re supposed to be. Right now.”

Holtz pouted. “I hate this store, though. Every time I come, the employees are rude to me. Really rude. Last time I even asked to speak to the manager, which I’ve _never_ done in my life, and the manager was a complete dick, too.”

Erin considered that. “Really? Or are you messing with me again?”

“No, I’m telling the truth. I don’t know what it is about this place, but I’ve never had a good experience. Or even a decent experience. I’d settle for a mediocre experience at this point. I wouldn’t have come back if it wasn’t so close.”

Erin pressed her lips into a hard line. “Okay. Let’s leave the keys for them to deal with, then. Screw them.”

Holtz’ face lit up. “Did you just pun?”

Oh. It hadn’t been intentional, but the look on Holtz’ face was priceless. Erin nodded.

“NICE!”

“Weren’t we on a very urgent mission?” Erin said, remembering suddenly.

Holtz ignored her. She was staring down at the rows of bins. “Do you ever think about how easy it would be to steal some of these?”

“Holtzmann! Of course not!”

Holtz looked at her, eyebrows raised slightly, like she was suggesting something.

“If you steal any of those, I’ll turn you in myself.”

“Oh, _I_ won’t be stealing any. I was thinking maybe you’d want to.”

“What?!?!” Was Holtz _insane_? Or was she joking?

“That story you told me,” Holtz said. Erin stared blankly at her, not understanding. “About the pack of gum you stole when you were a kid, and then you felt so bad that you went back and gave them $20? This could be your chance to ignite your inner deviant.”

Erin covered her eyes with her hands. “Why did I tell you that story?”

“You were trying to impress me with your badassery?” Holtz suggested.

Erin dropped her hand. “Yeah, kind of.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “So whaddya say?”

Erin was trying to work on the whole ‘caring about other people’s opinion on her,’ she really was, but even now she felt like she had something to prove.

So she reached into the bin closest to her, pulled out a single screw, and dropped it into her purse.

Holtz’ mouth dropped open. “Okay, I did _not_ think you were going to do that.”

“ _That’s_ for the employees and manager being mean to you,” Erin said.

Holtz swooned. “My knight in shining tweed.”

“Come on, we need to get out of this aisle before people get suspicious,” Erin said, taking Holtz by the hand and tugging her away.

They ended up in the aisle where, coincidentally, the plungers were.

“Oh right. We have an urgent toilet situation back at HQ. I forgot about that,” Holtz said. She grabbed a plunger off the shelf and handed it to Erin, then picked up a second. Then, after a moment of consideration, a third.

“What are you doing?”

“You can never have too many plungers.”

“I’d argue that three plungers is definitely too many plungers.”

Holtz held up the two she was holding so there was one on each of her breasts. “We need one for plunging, and two more so I can do this.” Then she proceeded to make laser noises.

“Mature. Now put those back.”

“No, I’m serious about buying all three. We might need them. It’s a good investment.” She paused, and smirked in a way that made Erin fear for what she was going to say next. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to take the _plunge_.”

Erin stood there, blinked, and then spun and walked in the opposite direction. She heard Holtz chuckle behind her as she followed after her, and then she felt a plunger poke her in the back (rubber end, of course). She kept walking. Holtz appeared beside her.

“I love how I know the best ways to get _plunger your skin_.”

Erin squinted at her. “Not your best work.”

Holtz frowned. “No. Maybe I’m just a _one-hit_ _plunger_.”

“Try again.”

“Would you like me to _explunge_ those attempts?”

Erin rolled her eyes. “Quit while you’re ahead.”

“Alriiiight.”

Much to her dismay, Holtz was serious about buying all three. The cashier didn’t even try to conceal his judgement as he took in the three plungers on the conveyor belt.

“You again.” Distaste twisted on his face.

Holtz leaned on the counter. “Guess why we need three plungers and I won’t tell you what happened in aisle 3.”

He frowned. “What?”

Holtz just smirked and paid.

When they got back to their headquarters, Holtz swinging the plastic bag containing all three plungers, Abby and Patty jumped at them.

“What took you so long?” Abby asked.

“Did y’all detour to make out? I _told_ you to hurry!”

“There was a slight incident involving my shopping cart and an entire display of keys,” Holtz said with a straight face. “We come bearing gifts, though!” She held up the bag.

Abby blinked. “Do we need three plungers?”

“Don’t bother,” Erin said, “I already tried fighting it.”

Holtz shrugged out of her lab coat (Erin momentarily got distracted by the fact that the _One of the Boys_ shirt she was wearing had been cut open along the sides, revealing a whole lot of skin and part of Holtz’ bra) and grabbed one of the plungers.

They all watched for a little bit as she started working.

“Do you guys need to watch me unclog a toilet?” she said without turning around.

They muttered apologizes and skittered off. Patty announced that she was going to go get their uniforms embroidered and pick them out some boots. Abby retreated to her desk. Erin started hanging their proton packs on the new holders.

Holtz emerged from the bathroom half an hour later after a flushing noise and a loud whoop. She walked out with the plunger slung over her shoulder, dripping water onto the floor.

“Hey, watch it.” Erin frowned.

“The only thing on it is water and soap,” Holtz pointed out.

“Right.” Erin appraised her for a second, chewing on her lip, and stepped closer. “You make a sexy plumber,” she said quietly enough that only Holtz would hear.

A look of shock flitted across Holtz’ face, but she recovered a second later. She set the plunger down and cocked her head. “Oh yeah?”

Erin took another step closer. “Yeah. You also look really hot in that shirt.”

Holtz raised an eyebrow. “Y’know, I need some sort of compensation for fixing the toilet. How do you plan on paying for that?”

Erin snorted. “I feel like I’m in a bad porno.” She closed the distance between them and grabbed Holtz by the waist.

“That’s what I was going for,” Holtz breathed.

Erin smiled wryly at how clearly flustered Holtz was. “In that case: why don’t I begin the repayment?”

Before Holtz could reply, she kissed her. Spurred on by how immediately responsive Holtz was, enthusiastically reciprocating the kiss, Erin deepened it. Unable to stop herself, she slid her hands up from Holtz’ waist to the bare skin at her sides. She felt Holtz’ breath hitch at the contact.

“Oh, Jesus,” came Abby’s voice. “Guys, we need to set some ground rules for PDA, because that was a lot more than I ever wanted to see in my life.”

They broke apart. Holtz shifted back and forth sheepishly, a little flushed, and Erin for once was not embarrassed.

“Sorry, Abby,” Erin said, not really sorry at all.

“No you’re not,” Abby said, seeing right through her. “You look smugger than I’ve ever seen you look.”

Erin shrugged. Then she took Holtz by the hand and started tugging her in the direction of the bathroom. “Hey Holtz, why don’t we go stock the bathroom with the new plungers?”

“That is a fantastic idea,” Holtz agreed.

The last thing they heard before they shut and locked the bathroom door was Abby shouting, “You didn’t even take the plungers in there with you, you _completely_ unsubtle nerds!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering what inspired this chapter. Yes, there are three plungers. I did not whip this chapter out of some bizarre crevice of my mind. Well...I kinda did. BUT I HAD INSPIRATION.
> 
> Also thank you Jillian-not-Holtzmann for helping me out when I was stuck with this chapter. I'm sorry that you had to read those puns. Also thank you for showing me how to embed shit into my notes. Look at me go!


	10. look out on the street now (the party's just beginning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter of the fic by far. Good luck. This one is a lot less fluffy than the last two. Shit's gettin' real!   
> Oh, also, this chapter has the ONE line that I changed from canon in this whole fic, and I didn't reaallly stray from canon, I just swapped it out with the line that was in the book/alternate takes instead because it fit a lot better. First person to comment with what it is gets a virtual high five!

The mirth of earlier in the day had already escaped Holtz’ mind as she watched the mayor’s assistant on TV announce that they were all frauds. Even though it didn’t bother her as much as Erin, it still hurt.

The sound of glass breaking startled Holtz from her thoughts and she spun around to see that Erin had knocked the bottle of hydrochloric acid off the table and onto the floor, where it was now smoking.

“Oh, my favourite acid!” Holtz said. She wasn’t actually that upset. Just trying to lighten the mood.

“It’s okay, I’ll get it, I’ll get it,” Kevin said, coming over from his desk. He had been hovering all morning, trying to make up for the toilet fiasco.

“Careful,” Erin warned.

“Hey guys, I’ve been meaning to ask. What was that thing that threw that man out the window the other day?” Kevin asked, seemingly having already forgotten about the acid. Was he for real?

Most of Holtz’ patience for the receptionist had evaporated. “Kevin. It was a ghost.”

“A ghost?” He sounded truly surprised.

“Do you not know what goes on here, Kevin?” She was beginning to seriously wonder if he had been dropped on his head as a baby.

He started rambling about how they should sell the restaurant, and then, as if to prove Holtz’ point, stepped forward and into the acid on the floor.

“Aw, not my slippers,” he said.

Why the hell was he wearing slippers at work? “It’s hydrochloric acid. Get the baking soda.” She pointed. “There ya go. That’s how you clean up hydrochloric.” He sprinkled the baking soda on the puddle. “Good boy.” Was it dehumanizing to talk to him as if he were a dog? Probably. But at this point, she was unimpressed by his antics (and in her opinion, a dog would make a better receptionist than him).

On the TV, the segment wrapped up. “Well, it’s official, we’re all Ghost Girls now,” Erin said. God, Holtz hated that Erin had to keep being forced back into her past.

“Can’t see,” Kevin interrupted from the floor, eyes screwed shut.

“Well, that’s the acid,” Holtz said.

They directed him to the bathroom to rinse his eyes, even though Holtz didn’t think he should be allowed back in the bathroom any time soon. Once he was gone, Abby started a rousing pep talk, clearly trying to cheer up Erin again. She walked over to Holtz’ laptop and started reading off some of the ghost sightings around the city. Clearly, they would have plenty of opportunities to capture another ghost.

And then Holtz could practically see the gears turning in Erin’s head as she snagged a nearby map and started plotting out where the sightings had been. By the time she started drawing lines through them, Holtz already knew where her train of thought had led her.

“Ley lines,” her and Abby said at the same time.

Something stirred in Holtz’ head. She had _seen_ that very pattern before. She strode over and grabbed their massive copy of Ley Lines of North America from a box on the floor and set it down on the table. She unhooked her glasses from one ear and left them to dangle from the other, and started flipping through until she found the image she was looking for. A map of Manhattan, showing the exact same pattern that Erin had just marked on her map. She nabbed the map, placed it on top of the book, and shoved it across the table.

“Dismiss this.”

And then Erin figured it out. The guy who was leaving the devices all over the city was using them to charge the ley lines. He was going to create a vortex.

“Oh boy,” Holtz said.

“Okay, if he gets one of his machines in there and it’s big enough, he’s going to be able to rip a hole right through that barrier,” Abby said.

“Letting whatever’s on this plane…” Holtz swirled her hand around in the air. “Come crashing down on this plane.” She slammed her hand down onto the maps.

Abby started calling the men from Homeland Security while Erin looked up what was at the intersection where the lines intersected. It appeared to be a hotel.

“The Mercado…Mercado, that’s Spanish for table,” Erin muttered.

Even Holtz, who had never taken a single class to learn Spanish, knew that wasn’t right.

Patty started explaining some of the history of that location, and it turned out that bad shit had been happening there for ages. Holtz leaned on Patty’s shoulder and watched as she clicked around on the Mercado’s website. She landed on a picture of the staff, and it turned out that the angry looking man in the back row was the same guy that was talking to Patty about cataclysms.

Abby and Erin came over to examine the photo, and Holtz felt Erin press into her side and grab her upper arm.

“It’s always the sad, pale ones,” Erin said.

Holtz turned to her and smirked, then turned back to look at the screen.

“Okay ladies, let’s gear up and hit that Mercado,” Abby said.

Erin squeezed Holtz’ arm and tugged her away from the table. They suited up into their jumpsuits, now embroidered with their names and little patches of their logo on the arm, courtesy of Patty. Whoever she knew that ran the embroidery shop must really like her, because she had gotten them done _fast_. She also unpacked four shoe boxes from a bag and distributed them. Holtz opened hers to reveal a pair of black combat boots.

“ _Nice_ ,” she said as she tugged them on.

She watched Erin meticulously lace up her own matching boots, the last one to finish, and then they all grabbed their proton packs off the wall and headed out.

“Kevin, we’re leaving. Don’t touch anything except what’s on your desk while we’re gone,” Abby called.

“Sure thing, boss!”

They loaded up the car and got in. “Who’s in the mood to save New York City?” Abby asked as the garage door opened.

The rest of them cheered in response, and Holtz peeled out of the garage, tired squealing, siren blaring.

As she weaved in and out of traffic, Patty groaned in the back seat. “Please drive carefully. I don’t want to die today.”

“There’s no time for careful!” Holtz shouted back. “We’ve got a maniac to stop!”

“But who’s gonna stop _you_?” Patty grumbled.

She parked right in front of the hotel, in a towing zone, but she figured the city would forgive her. Once they got the whereabouts of the janitor—Rowan, the picture said—they went down to the basement. Holtz wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but as soon as they saw the closed door with blue light coming from underneath it, they all grabbed the wands from their packs. Holtz exchanged a brief glance with Erin as they turned their packs on.

The machine looked even worse than Holtz was imagining. She couldn’t help but admire how beautiful it was.

Less beautiful were the mirrors scattered around the room with spectral forms crashing into them from the Other Side. They were kind of horrifying to look at, but Holtz couldn’t tear her gaze away.

Until Abby’s shout caught her attention. There, across the room, stood their guy. He stood up immediately. He began strolling towards them as he began what was very obviously a prepared speech. Holtz was trying hard not to laugh at how ridiculous he was. _This_ was their evil villain mastermind? Yikes.

It became increasingly less funny as he detailed his exact plans for how his army of the undead would ‘pester’ the living.

“I think the word we’re looking for is apocalypse,” Holtz said. “Apocalypse.” The word was fun to say, less fun to think about.

He went to start up the machine, but Abby managed to stop him. She tried talking him down, coming up with reasons why he shouldn’t destroy the world, and all she managed to come up with was soup. Really, Abby? Holtz couldn’t criticize too much, though, because at the moment all she could think about Erin, and somehow she doubted that the existence of Erin would be enough of a reason to live for Rowan as it was for Holtz.

Abby’s last ditch effort was to announce that the police were coming, which had the exact opposite reaction that they were hoping. Rowan threw himself again the machine, dramatically electrocuted himself, and fell to the ground, dead.

“That’s a weird move,” Holtzmann said.

The machine continued to make noise, increasing in volume.

Abby pushed her in the direction of it. “See if you can shut that thing down.”

Holtz grimaced and ran over to the machine, looking for anything that looked like an off switch. She frantically looked around, terrified to press a button that would accidentally release the ghosts. She heard Erin calling her name with growing panic.

She spotted what looked like a power conductor and traced it down a set of thick cables to where it joined up with a large lever. That would be her best bet. She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled it down.

It worked. The machine quieted and the intense blue lights disappeared. A glance around the room revealed that the ghosts in the mirrors were no longer visible either.

“Holtz, are we good?”

Holtz started walking back, looking down at Rowan’s lifeless body. “Uh…well, he’s not. But yeah, we’re okay.”

As Abby began hollering for the police upstairs, Holtz continued to stare at Rowan. “You hate to see the smart ones go bad,” she said. From what she had seen of his work, Rowan was just as much of a genius as he said. He could’ve done great things if he hadn’t been so bitter. For a second, Holtz felt like she was looking into some sort of alternate road her life could’ve taken had she not been so resilient in the face of her own childhood. She was willing to bet she had been tormented and isolated just as much, if not more, as Rowan.

The similarities grew even freakier when she discovered that Rowan had been using _Ghosts from Our Past_ to build most of his technology. He was working with the exact same science as Holtz was. It was frightening, really. She could’ve built everything in this room just as easily as he could’ve built the proton packs strapped to their back.

She decided to let the thought slip from her mind. No use dwelling on it.

She could tell that Erin’s mood had increased tremendously since earlier in the day. There was no way that the mayor’s office would try to quiet them this time. They had without a doubt saved the city.

Except that apparently the mayor didn’t care. Not only had they towed their car, but they insisted on walking them out as if they were being arrested.

The last thing she heard before they got outside was Ms. Lynch telling the reporters inside that they were just a group of sad and lonely women pulling a publicity stunt. Holtz was immensely enjoying being fake-arrested (it was more fun than being real-arrested, something she knew from personal experience) until she caught a glimpse of the look on Erin’s face. She looked devastated.

Once they were a few blocks away from the Mercado, the men from Homeland Security let them go. They took off down the street. Holtz really wished they still had the car. Towing it was kind of a dick move.

She looked down the row at Erin, who had been completely silent for the walk so far. She seemed so utterly dejected. Holtz needed to figure out a way to cheer her up. Maybe another date? More cool weapons? She should finish the unfinished gun that Erin had tried to select. That would cheer Erin up.

Or going out for drinks, like Abby suggested.

Before they could make any plans, though, a nasally voice behind them interrupted. Holtz looked over to see a scrawny pale dude with a phone in his hand. A fan?

“How does it feel wasting taxpayer money and government resources with your pranks?”

Hm. Maybe not.

“Ms. Gilbert, I asked around your hometown.”

Oh, shit. This could only go badly.

“I talked to somebody you went to school with.”

Even worse.

“They said when you were a kid, you made up a ghost.”

Holtz was about two seconds away from ‘accidentally’ firing a proton stream at the blogger.

“So, tell me, were you born a fraud, Ghost Girl?”

Oh, no he fucking didn’t.

Erin froze, and before anyone could do anything, she had whirled around and started attacking him with fire in her eyes. “DON’T CALL ME THAT,” she shouted.

Abby and Patty tried to pull Erin off the man to no avail. Holtz just backed up several steps and watched in complete adoration. Erin was _definitely_ winning, and she was so proud of her. Finally, Abby got Erin to step away.

“They should put you back in therapy, you freak,” the blogger said.

And then Erin punched him in the face. He crumpled down to the ground instantly. Erin just stood there, seething, not looking the slightest bit sorry about what she had just done.

“Ooo…kay, then. We should probably get the hell out of here,” Abby said, staring down at the blood coming from the man’s nose and the reporters that had followed them from the Mercado. Cameras were flashing around them.

Abby and Patty each took one of Erin’s arms and pulled her away from the scene. Holtz flagged down a cab for them, and they piled in, away from microphones and barking voices. Erin sunk down into her seat between Holtz and Patty.

Abby glanced back from the front seat. “Erin…”

“Don’t, Abby,” Erin said.

“I was just going to say that he deserved it.”

Erin pressed her lips together and screwed her eyes shut, then let out an almost strangled sounding sigh of frustration. Holtz took Erin’s hand in her own and absentmindedly ran her thumb along the back of it.

“That was completely badass,” Holtz said quietly. “I was right: you _can_ take care of yourself. Where’d you learn to throw a punch like that? That was one of the best hits I’ve ever seen.”

Erin didn’t open her eyes. “Lots of practice,” she replied through her teeth.

Holtz considered that. Did she make it a habit of punching people? The reaction to fight after hearing the old nickname was immediate. Holtz wondered how many people she had fought for calling her names.

The rest of the ride back to HQ was quiet and a little uncomfortable.  Once there, they stripped out of their uniforms and changed back into their street clothes.

“I’m going home,” Erin said once she had hung her proton pack on the wall.

Holtz’ face fell. She sounded so upset. “Do you want company? Why don’t we go do something fun to take your mind off things?”

Erin shook her head, already grabbing her coat and purse. She didn’t meet Holtz’ eyes as she walked towards the door. “I need to be alone right now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She disappeared down the stairs, and they heard the door slam.

Holtz was about to follow after her anyway, because Erin was clearly distraught and probably in no state to be alone, but Abby caught her arm. “Let her go.”

Holtz looked at her sharply. “I’m not letting her go home alone. She’s upset.”

“Holtz, I’ve known her for a hell of a lot longer than you have.” That probably wasn’t meant to be a cruel remark, but it still stung. “She needs to cool off.”

“What if she thinks I don’t care about her because I didn’t chase after her?”

“This isn’t a romantic comedy, Holtz.”

Holtz grumbled at that and slid out of Abby’s grasp.

“Hey, I said don’t go!” Abby said as Holtz grabbed her coat.

“I’m not. I’m going to go get our car back.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Holtz saluted grimly. “I’ll be back.”

A part of her was still planning on finding Erin, but her girlfriend had disappeared from the street already. With a pout, Holtz headed off to find their car.

Later, when the Ecto-1 had been safely returned to the garage (with a hefty fee), Holtz texted Erin.

_Thinking of you. Still need to be alone, or are you up for a pajama-clad movie night/cuddle fest? I’ll bring snacks and let you pick the movie. ;)_

She pocketed her phone and got back to work on the gun she was finishing for Erin. She was going to make it the best damn gun that had ever existed. 15 minutes passed before her phone buzzed in her pocket. She fished it out and inspected the screen.

_Erin: Not tonight, Holtzmann. Thanks anyway. I will see you tomorrow morning._

Holtz’ heart fell. She had been expecting Erin to say yes. She noted the use of her full last name. Was Erin mad at her, or was she still just upset? She tried to remain indifferent sounding in her response.

_Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. See ya tomorrow._

After a moment of thought, she added a little heart to the end of the message. Then she erased it. She pressed send and tossed the phone onto her worktable, standing from her chair.

“I’m going out to look for parts,” she called. Abby and Patty didn’t look up from their whispered conversation. Holtz wasn’t sure if they were talking about her or about Erin, but she didn’t really care that much. She left her phone on the desk and headed out.

She ended up at her favourite dumpster, scavenging for anything that could be made useful. This was where she always came when the thoughts in her head were getting too loud. She found the practice therapeutic, almost. There was something about being arm-deep in garbage that calmed her. One man’s trash, and all that jazz.

She returned to headquarters much later with a duffle bag full of finds. Abby and Patty had already left. She took a seat back at her workbench and picked up her phone, hoping to see a message from Erin. There was nothing. She tossed the phone back with a sigh and set to work.

She stayed much too late again. First she finished Erin’s gun, then she worked on a set of side-arms for herself, then she grabbed the four pairs of boots lying around the lab and set to work affixing some cool shin guards that she had found a set of in the dumpster (maybe an entire sports team had changed uniforms?) and lined them with reflective tape to match their jumpsuits. Finally, she finished her additions to the wall where their proton packs were hanging, so it functioned as a charging station too. Eventually tiredness overcame her, and she decided to call it a night. She went back to her apartment, paced around there for a while, and finally surrendered to bed. The last thing she did before falling asleep was check her phone one last time, then she turned it right off so she wouldn’t have to look at the empty notifications screen.

The next morning, she took care picking out her outfit, selecting her nicest matching vest and slacks and her favourite silk scarf as a necktie. It wasn’t that she was trying to _impress_ Erin, per se, but she definitely wanted Erin to notice her. Providing Erin actually showed up.

She headed in to work on the motorcycle that had been her pet project for a while, that she had recently decked out in a similar fashion to the hearse, with some potentially dangerous machinery on the back and a little ECTO-2 license plate to match the car. Maybe she’d be able to convince Erin to go for a ride on it later.

After a few hours of waiting at headquarters, though, Holtz was beginning to think Erin wasn’t going to show up. Desperate for a distraction, she told Abby to suit up in her jumpsuit and meet her in the alley. Holtz shed her carefully selected clothes in favour of her own jumpsuit with a little shred of bitterness.

In the alley, she had Abby test Erin’s new gun to make sure it worked properly. She wanted to surprise Erin with it the next time they went to catch a ghost. It worked perfectly. Erin was going to love it.

Then she stripped down to her plain tank top, tying her jumpsuit at her waist, and tested the set of proton pistols she had whipped up for herself the previous night, delighting in the way she was able to blast apart her little ghost target.

“You’re having a little too much fun, there, Holtz,” Abby said from where she was sitting on a milk crate.

“No such thing,” Holtz replied.

“Have you heard from Erin?” Abby said suddenly.

Holtz stiffened and dropped her weapons, letting them retract back into her pack. She didn’t turn to face Abby, instead opting to scuff her boot on the ground and pretend she didn’t hear the question.

“Holtz.”

“Not since last night,” Holtz grumbled. She slowly turned with a pained expression on her face. “Abby, you don’t think she—”

“No,” Abby cut her off firmly, somehow knowing the end of Holtz’ sentence. Her eyes were steely, like she wasn’t even willing to entertain the possibility of Erin not coming back.

“But Abby—”

“No,” Abby said again, louder. She stood from the milk carton. “Are we done out here? We should head inside.”

“Yeah.” Holtz took Erin’s gun from Abby and the pair headed upstairs.

Erin still wasn’t there. Holtz hung up her proton pack. Then she gathered up the ghost chipper and an armful of tools and took a seat at Erin’s desk because it made her feel close to the missing physicist, which was an admittedly sad and melodramatic move, but she was lovesick and forlorn and she was going to allow herself such eccentricities.

She worked there for a while, not really accomplishing anything in particular. After a while she started absentmindedly flicking a blowtorch on and off just to watch the flame.

“Can you stop that? I’m trying to read,” Patty said.

Holtz looked up to see Patty reading her copy of _The Journal of Astrophysical Mechanics_. “Whatcha reading that for?”

“It’s interesting.” Patty shrugged. “A lot of it’s going over my head, but I feel like I’m learning some stuff. I’m never going to understand this science like y’all do, but I figure I can at least start to familiarize myself with some of it.”

“Huh.” Holtz was very impressed. _She_ sure didn’t find academic papers interesting, even when they were on cool topics, but somehow she didn’t doubt Patty’s sincerity. “Let me know if you want me to explain anything. Some of the technical jargon can get a little tedious.”

Patty smiled. “Thanks, Holtzy.”

Holtz resumed her mindless on-off-on-off with the blowtorch.

“Erin!” Abby said all of a sudden.

Holtz jumped to attention so violently that the blowtorch clattered to the desk, immediately igniting the closest papers. Ah, shit. She pulled the ghost chipper out of the way of the flames and grabbed the closest fire extinguisher to spray a healthy dose of foam on Erin’s desk. The small blaze died quickly, but now there were burn marks on the desk. _She_ thought it looked cool. Erin probably wouldn’t.

Now that the building wasn’t in danger of burning down, she allowed herself to look up and see if Erin was there or if Abby had just been thinking out loud.  

Erin _was_ there, shrugging off her coat and clutching a newspaper under her arm. She didn’t appear to have seen the fire, possibly because she was avidly avoiding eye contact with any of them. Holtz stood there silently, unsure if she should greet Erin or let her say something first.

God, Holtz didn’t understand people. If there was one thing she desperately loved about Abby Yates, it was that she was _very_ forward about her emotions. And since she was the first friend Holtz had ever made, the ability to read people wasn’t a skill that Holtz cared about finessing. Now, though, she kind of wished she’d practiced it more, because she either had a very upset or completely fine girlfriend and no way to know the difference. She was starting to realize why women always thought she was too emotionally stunted to be girlfriend material.

Erin took a seat in the booth and set the newspaper on the table in front of her, still saying nothing. Holtz made frantic eye contact with Abby and gestured her head in the direction of Erin.

“Should I go?” she mouthed at Abby. Did the ‘leave her alone’ rule still apply?

Abby studied Erin for a moment, then nodded once.

Holtz immediately began striding over to the booth, too excited to play it cool. Was she hurt that Erin had disappeared off the face of the planet overnight? Yes. But she was mostly just relieved to see her again.

She realized a little belatedly that she was still holding the ghost chipper in her hand and she set it down on the table as she slid into the booth and began crawling over so she could sit beside Erin.

“Hey,” she said, grinning. “Guess whose desk I just sat on fire? You’ll never guess.”

Erin didn’t respond. In fact, she only glanced up for a second and then went back to staring dejectedly at the unopened newspaper in front of her. Well, that was an underwhelming reaction. And God, Holtz was even wearing a tank top. The last time she had worn a tank top, Erin had nearly jumped her bones.

Holtz continued, because clearly Erin wasn’t going to play along. “You may guess when you see…your desk later.”

She had grabbed the newspaper that Erin was staring at so intently and flipped it open. She wasn’t stupid, she could see the photo of Erin punching that dude on the cover, but she had every intention to ignore it.

“Alright, just read it. Just read it,” Erin said.

Feigning ignorance, Holtz began reading the article in front of her instead of the one about Erin. “‘Midtown movie theatre owner claims Basset Hound regularly attends matinees by himself.’ Look at his ears!” She tilted the newspaper so Erin could see the adorable photo.

“Yeah, kay, I meant the one about me.”

Erin was having _none_ of that. Tank top nor Basset Hound could cheer her up—she must’ve been _really_ upset.

Holtz examined the front page to get the article’s location. “Oh.” She flipped back to the two page spread with the word NOSEBUSTER across the top and several unflattering photos. A cursory glance revealed that the article itself wasn’t too flattering either. “It’s not that interesting,” she said finally. Before Erin could reply or look for herself, a perfect distraction appeared in the corner of Holtz’ eye. “Oh look, you’re on TV!”

Erin leapt up as the newscasters spoke. Then it cut to some stuffy-looking guy from Columbia. Abby and Patty came up behind Erin as the man started speaking.

“It’s unfortunate that we have these former ties with Ms. Gilbert,” he said.

Holtz winced. He didn’t even have the decency to use Erin’s proper title?

He continued to slander her. Abby grabbed the remote from Erin to change the channel, but the video cut to a more familiar face. Oh, great. The dean from the Institute was quite possibly the least reputable person to speak on the matter, yet there he was.

Finally, Abby shut off the TV.

“Yo, Erin, shake that off!” Patty said. “You know how many lives you’ve saved?”

Holtz had a feeling a simple pep talk wouldn’t suffice on this one. She needed to get Erin away from all this so she wouldn’t have to think about it any more.

“We gotta get out there,” Holtz said. “We gotta get something to eat. We gotta find that Basset Hound.” If a lunch date wouldn’t distract her, maybe cuddling a dog would.

“I’ll just see you guys tomorrow,” Erin said quickly, and before any of them could stop her, she was walking out the door. Again. Abby called after her, but Erin just shouted an apology in response.

Holtz watched her go, a horrible feeling sinking in her chest. She didn’t know what to make of all this. What if this time, Erin didn’t come back? Holtz stood up and jogged over to Abby.

“Should we go after her?” Holtz asked.

Abby sighed without looking in her direction. “No.”

“I don’t understand,” Holtz said. “I thought you of all people would want to go after her.”

Abby whirled on her, eyes flashing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Holtz knew she should probably drop it, but she had already dug herself a hole. “A few years ago. You were drunk and you let it slip that after Erin left you, you didn’t try to go after her. You just let her go. And you said you regretted it.”

Abby’s eyes narrowed. “I never said that.”

“You were really, really drunk. You passed out shortly after. I think it was the anniversary of her leaving, or something, because you were a mess and that was the only time you spoke about her like that. I’m not surprised you don’t remember it. But you said it. You regretted not going after her. And I know you don’t want to consider the possibility that she—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Abby said hotly, her face hardened into a mask of anger.

“Abby, listen to me,” Holtz pleaded. “You just got Erin back into your life, and now she’s in my life too, and if us going after her will keep her from leaving for good, then don’t you think we should do it?”

Abby pinched the bridge of her nose under her glasses and screwed her eyes shut. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look at Holtz. “When she left me last time there were no warning signs that anything was wrong. She just disappeared. Ignored my calls. There was no _reason_ for any of it. Do I regret not going to her house to see what her problem was instead of just letting her ignore me? Yes. But that is…not the same as this situation. At all. Erin is upset. Really upset. We _know_ why she’s upset, and it has nothing to do with us. I’ve seen Erin upset many times, and she always wants to be alone until she feels better. That’s just how she is. But she’s coming back. She needs to come back.” Abby’s voice broke on the last word.

Holtz swallowed. “I’m sorry, Abby. I shouldn’t have…shit.”

Abby bit her lip. “We just…we can’t think that way. She just needs some more time to cool down. It’s been a really intense week for all of us, but especially her. Her whole life is in upheaval. That was bound to catch up with her. Plus all the reminders of her childhood? She needs time and space. I know that might be hard for you, because you just started dating and you don’t really understand her yet, but you’re going to have to trust me. Believe me, I want to chase after her too. I just got her back, and the thought of losing her again hurts a _lot_ , but we’ve just…got to have faith. It could push her further away if we ignore her wishes.”

Holtz inhaled and nodded. “You’re right.”

Abby snorted. “Of course I’m right.” She hip-bumped Holtz. “I’m always right.”

“I don’t know about thaaat.”

Abby shook her head. “I’m always right. Now go work on something productive so you don’t burn the building down in your lovesick misery.”

Holtz shot finger guns at her. “Can’t make any promises, Abs.”

She ended up grabbing Erin’s proton pack and fiddling with it, not doing anything in particular, just making sure it was in perfect shape. Then, before she could really think about what she was doing, she etched a tiny heart into the metal at the bottom of the pack, where Erin wouldn’t see it.

Patty noticed though. “Girl, what are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

She shook her head. “Let’s get you out of here and get your mind off her. Let’s go pick up some food.”

“I could eat,” Holtz said, standing from her worktable.

“Abby? You want food?” Patty asked.

“I’m not hungry,” Abby replied.

Patty’s eyes narrowed at that. “Sure you aren’t. Kevin, what about you?”

“I’m heading out, actually,” Kevin said. “I have _very_ important business to do.”

“Kevin, what could be more important than your _job_?” Abby asked.

“Bye!” Kevin ignored her and left.

Holtz blinked. “Ooookie dokie then. Looks like it’s just us, then, Pattycakes.”

“I said don’t call me that.”

“It hasn’t grown on you yet?”

Patty just sighed.

Holtz changed back into her outfit from earlier in the day, so she wouldn’t be walking around in just her tank top and jumpsuit, and soon her and Patty were walking to a nearby sandwich shop.

“We should probably get Abby a sandwich,” Patty said. “She says she isn’t hungry, but I think that’s bullshit.”

“She always says she’s not hungry and then eats half of my food anyway,” Holtz confirmed.

They got the sandwiches and began walking back.

“So how’re things going with you and Erin? All the disappearing stuff aside?” Patty asked.

“Good, good,” Holtz replied. She frowned. “At least I think so. Everything was going well before she got all bummed out. We had a really excellent date yesterday morning. And then we had so much fun at the hardware store…which is so weird, because it was just shopping at a hardware store, y’know? But being there with Erin made it fun.”

Patty laughed. “Oh girl, you got it bad.”

“I’m in love with her,” Holtz said, testing the words out loud. “I know that sounds weird, because I only met her just over a week ago, but I am. Have you ever just instantly clicked with someone, Patty? Because I swear, it’s like…I don’t even know what it’s like.”

“I mean, I feel like I’m clicking with all of you right away, but I have a feeling you mean a little more intensely?”

“Yeah, like love at first sight, but not, because that’s cheesy. Love at first kiss? Because shit, Patty, it was just…it was incredible. I think Erin is…I think she could be…”

“Your soulmate?” Patty supplied.

Holtz wrinkled her nose. “That word has always bothered me, for some reason. She’s just like…my person. She’s the one I’m meant to be with.”

“So, your soulmate…”

Holtz looked up at the sky. “Yeah, okay. I guess Erin’s my soulmate. Why does that thought terrify me so much?”

Patty chuckled. “Love is scary, baby. But worth it in the end.”

They arrived back to a quiet headquarters. Abby was in the bathroom. They started unpacking their sandwiches while Patty called out to tell Abby that they got her a sandwich as well.

There was no answer. Holtz began walking in the direction of the bathroom. “Abby? You in there? Everything okay?” A little giddy from her conversation with Patty, she improvised a happy sandwich song and tapped on the door.

She was about to knock one more time when the door flew open suddenly, and Abby stepped out and stood with only a few inches between their faces.

“Hello, Jillian.”

That was new and admittedly weird. Jillian Holtzmann wasn’t one to shy away from the strange, though.

“Hello, Abby.” She paused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m quite well.”

“That’s good,” Holtz said, and Abby was already pushing past her. She watched her go, wondering what the hell _that_ was all about.

She followed Abby back into the main room and watched her pick through some of her dumpster finds. Abby picked up the lead pipe she was planning on making a proton shotgun out of.

And then, before she could process what was happening, Abby had walked over to where Holtz’ proton pack was hanging and ripped the Faraday cage off.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Holtz roared.

Abby began striking the pack with the pipe in her hand, and Holtz started sprinting. Was Abby still mad about their fight earlier? Was this her way of getting Holtz back? “NOT MY BABIES!” Didn’t Abby know how much they meant to her? Couldn’t she have punched Holtz in the face instead?

Abby had moved on to hitting the other packs, and Holtz threw herself at her, trying to wrestle the pipe from her hands. How had Abby gotten so strong?

Then Abby shoved her, hard, and Holtz flew across the room, the wind knocked out of her, and rolled a few times before coming to rest. Black spots dotted the corners of her vision. She inhaled roughly and felt a sharp pain go through her. Had she broken a rib? She heard the sound of something whiz through the air and then there was a metallic thunk and the sound of Patty shouting.

Abby appeared above Holtz, and she only had enough time to faintly wheeze out her friend’s name before Abby had taken Holtz by the neck and lifted her in the air.

Except yeah, that wasn’t Abby, Holtz realized now.

She struggled in Abby’s grip, trying to pry her hand from her throat, but Holtz was no match for whatever ghostly strength was coursing through her. All she could do was scream with what little air wasn’t being crushed from her windpipe.

“Look at the view,” not-Abby said.

And then she shoved Holtz through the window. The same window that the government had fixed immediately after Martin Heiss was thrown out of it in order to hide the evidence. She doubted that they would care as much about covering up her death.

The glass shattered around her. Not-Abby held her struggling form for a few more seconds. “This is fun, right?” she said. “Goodbye!”

Then she let Holtz go.

Time slowed down. She could hear Patty screaming. She could see the look of pure evil on not-Abby’s face, and Holtz realized sickeningly that she’d never get to see Abby’s real face again, never get to speak to the true Abby again.

And Erin.

Holtz was going to die, and she would never see Erin again. Never hear Erin’s voice again. Never kiss Erin again.

Holtz was going to die, and Erin didn’t even know that she loved her.

At least Erin was going to be the last thing she ever thought of.

She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for impact, but instead, she felt warm skin connect with her hand, and her arm jolted so hard that she was sure it was going to come out of its socket. Then her whole body slammed into the side of the building, and she felt another stab of pain as her chest collided with the wall. Yeah, her rib was _definitely_ broken.

“I got you, baby, I got you!” Patty shouted, her grip on Holtz’ hand tightening.

As not-Abby and Patty struggled and fought above her, Holtz scrambled to find something, anything to hold on to.

“Oh my God, help me,” she said. She could barely breathe. She could feel the area between her hand and Patty’s growing sweaty.

And just when things couldn’t get any worse, not-Abby’s head swivelled completely around. Holtzmann screamed.

She watched in horror as they continued to battle, and not-Abby got her hands around Patty’s neck—was she going to rip her head right off? But Patty, with unwavering strength, fought her off once more, just long enough to yank Holtz back through the window. She hit the floor hard and rolled onto her back, gasping for breath, feeling the pulsing ache of her rib.

“GET OUT OF MY FRIEND, GHOST,” Patty shouted, and then there was the unmistakable sound of flesh being slapped, and a flash of blue light soared over Holtz and out through the open window.

“Ow! That’s going to leave a mark,” Abby said.

“THE POWER OF PATTY COMPELS YOU.” Another slap.

“OW!”

“Is that you, Abby?”

“Where’d he go?” Abby asked.

Holtz carefully rolled herself into a seated position and then stood shakily and stumbled over to the window with the other two, her breathing ragged and painful.

There, down on the street surrounded by broken glass, stood Kevin. He was wearing a makeshift jumpsuit with a duct-tape name tag, and he was standing next to the Ecto-2 motorcycle, which he must’ve stolen from the garage. Okay…Holtz would be upset about that later.

Right now, she had a more pressing concern, because the ghost was circling above Kevin. They shouted for him to come inside, but it was too late. The ghost had flown inside him.

“Come on, Rowan, get out of him!” Abby called.

Shit. That was Rowan? The situation was suddenly a billion times worse than it was before. And before they could do anything, he had jumped on the motorcycle and was riding away.

“Oh, that’s _so_ not good,” Patty said.

They sprung into action immediately.

“Holtz, I’m so s—”

Holtz cut Abby off before she could say it. “Don’t, Abby. It wasn’t you.”

“You could’ve died,” Abby breathed as she started stripping out of her clothes to change into her jumpsuit.

“The day’s not over yet,” Holtz muttered. She felt for the tender spot on her ribs and winced.

“Are you going to be okay to fix the packs?” Abby asked anxiously. She grabbed Holtz’ pack and the parts she had ripped off when she was possessed, and carried it over to the worktable.

“Yeah, I’ve got this.” Holtz reached for her tools and got to work as fast as she could, ignoring the throbbing of her ribs. She tried to tighten the screws on the Faraday cage to hold it back in place, and her shaking hand slipped. A little shock went through her when the screwdriver hit some nearby circuitry. “ _Fuck_ ,” she hissed. Now was not the time for her body to betray her.

Abby appeared beside her and she jumped away out of reflex.  She relaxed a second later when she reminded herself that this was the real Abby, and she wasn’t going to hurt her.

Abby folded her arms around Holtz, pulling her into a loose embrace, careful not to squeeze too tightly. Tears flooded into Holtz’ eyes as the events of the past ten minutes caught up with her, and she allowed herself to fall into Abby.

“I’m so sorry,” Abby said into her hair.

She held on a moment or two longer, then pulled away, picking up her screwdriver again with determination. She fixed up her pack, then repaired the damage to the other two as well. While Abby and Patty headed downstairs to load up the car, Holtz changed into her own jumpsuit and strapped a belt full of proton grenades across her chest. She was about to run out when she spotted Erin’s proton pack lying on her workbench from where she had been tinkering with it earlier. She jogged back over, dug out the new gun for her, and laid it on top of the pack. Then she looked around wildly, grabbed the first sheet of paper and pen she could find, scribbled a hasty note, and left it lying beside the gun.

With one last look around at the lab, a horrible feeling growing in her gut that she’d never see it again, she turned on her heel and walked out.

It was at that moment that the sky turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm realizing just how close the end of this fic is now? In my head the last chapter was SO far away from the stuff I'm currently writing (ie the end of the movie) because I'd kind of forgotten how this one chapter spans so much time and takes us to this point. And now we're REALLY close to the stuff I'm currently writing. I also have some major assignments to do this weekend so I'm really hoping that I'll be able to post the rest of the chapters on schedule but I'm warning you right now, the last two might be delayed once we get there. We'll see. I'm hoping to get a lot of writing done today so I can focus on school stuff on the weekend! For now though, full steam ahead, and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!


	11. come join the fun (this ain't no time to be staying home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm posting this so late in the day! I've been volunteering all day. This chapter is less angsty and much shorter than the last one.

Erin was running through the streets, screaming at people to evacuate, when the ground starting shaking beneath her.

This was it. It was starting.

She kept running, pushing her way through the throngs of panicking people, watching as blue and green spirits burst out of the ground around her. And then she saw it in the distance: the Mercado, with a deadly green vortex churning on top of it.

She was too late.

The sky darkened around her, and all she could do was watch in horror.

She needed to get back to headquarters. She needed to get back to the rest of the team before they thought she was abandoning them. She felt guilty enough that she had run off, but that’s what Erin Gilbert did when things were hard. She ran and hid.

Not today.

Today she had a girlfriend who probably thought she hated her, friends who needed her help, and a city to save.

She had to get her gear. She felt useless standing there unarmed while the ghosts continued to swoop past her. After failing to get a taxi driver to take her to headquarters, she did something she _never_ thought she’d do.

She stole a car.

Well, she didn’t _steal_ it. She borrowed it. It was just sitting there, still running, keys in the ignition, and the owner had probably run off screaming. She slid in before she could think about it too much and sped off in the direction of headquarters.

She was only able to get so close before the traffic got too bad and she came to a standstill. She left the car and ran the last few blocks to their headquarters.

Outside, she took in the wide-open and empty garage. They had already left without her. She didn’t blame them—they didn’t know when, or if, she was coming back. She ran up the stairs, completely drenched in sweat at that point, and had a moment of panic when she realized her proton pack wasn’t hanging on the wall. Had they taken it with them? Then she spotted it on Holtz’ worktable, and she scurried over in relief.

There was something else, too. Erin recognized it as the gun that had been unfinished the other day, the day that they had tested the side-arms and then—her chest warmed at the memory of what had happened next. She shook the thought away. There was no time for that now.

Stuck to the pack and gun was a note. Erin had never seen Holtz’ handwriting, but the messy scrawl seemed appropriate.

_Erin,_

_Rowan’s back & he’s possessed Kevin. Gone to stop him. See you @ Mercado_

_It’s time to save the city, ghost girl(friend)_

_Love Holtz xo_

_p.s. I’m glad you came back_

Erin swallowed the lump in her throat and felt a chill go through her. Rowan had possessed Kevin? She shivered again, then she realized that it wasn’t out of fear—she was freezing. Her head snapped over to the window, which had been broken open, like it was after Martin Heiss had been thrown out of it. But that had been fixed, hadn’t it?

Shaking away that thought, she grabbed her uniform and suited up. She slung on her pack and strapped the new gun to her thigh with the holster that was also resting nearby. Then she folded up Holtz’ note and tucked it into her pocket with the Swiss Army knife that Holtz had given her.

With one hand wrapped tightly around the note and knife to give her courage, she headed out to save the city.

She ran into a bit of a road block, quite literally, when she got outside. The street was completely gridlocked. How was she going to get to the Mercado? Looking around wildly, she spotted Benny the delivery guy getting onto his bike (clearly he had replaced the one they accidentally set on fire). She ran over and all but shoved him off the bike.

“What are you doing?” he asked, startled.

“What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? We’re in the middle of a ghost apocalypse and you’re trying to deliver Chinese food? Now _move!_ ” She swung her leg over the bike, and took off shakily—the combination of the weight of the proton pack on her back and the fact that she hadn’t been on a bike in a good ten years was making her wobble all over the street. Soon, though, she picked up speed and began weaving her way through the empty cars blocking the streets as the scent of Chinese food wafted up at her from the bags in the crate on the back.

By the time she had gotten close to the Mercado, she was panting and sweaty again. She was starting to wonder how she was going to find the others, when in the distance she saw the distinctive red lights of three proton streams. She raced closer as the three forms of her fellow Ghostbusters came into focus, dwarfed by a seemingly never-ending parade of creepy, ghostly balloons. The three of them seemed to be struggling, and the balloons were popping at the last possible second before they reached them. And then the next one, a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, was too much for their proton streams, and Erin watched in horror as he keened forward and fell right on top of her three teammates.

Erin jumped off the bicycle, letting it clatter to the ground, and sprinted, pulling the wand from her proton pack as she went.

Then she realized that her proton stream wouldn’t be enough to break the balloon if theirs weren’t enough combined. What was she going to do? She had reached the fallen balloon now, and she shouldered her gun and looked around for another possible solution. Then it hit her.

She pulled out her knife, shoved it into the pillowy balloon, and prayed. A second later, it exploded.

She could barely contain her excitement as the fiery remnants of the balloon cleared and she took in the sight of her friends and girlfriend, unharmed. She strode towards them, feeling like a total badass.

“Proton guns are all well and good, but sometimes…” She held up the knife. “You need the Swiss Army.”

They all looked completely in awe and relieved that she was there.

“WELCOME BACK,” Holtz hollered. “AM I SHOUTING?”

Erin winced and nodded. “Yeah.” She helped pull Abby to her feet.

“I THINK THE BALLOON POPPED MY EAR.”

Patty high-fived Erin.

“Alright, let’s go save this city and get our terrible receptionist back,” Abby said. “We’re not going to find another one that pretty.”

Holtz had reached Erin. With a blinding smile on her face, she touched Erin’s back, and together they took off in the direction of the Mercado.

“Hey Erin?” Holtz called as they ran. She was almost back to her regular volume.

“Yeah?”

“You saving our asses with my knife is possibly the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.” Holtz grinned at her. “And I know we’re in the middle of an apocalypse, and this is probably the worst time to say this, but I almost died earlier and—”

“WHAT?”

“—there’s an above average chance that we won’t survive tonight, y’know, given the apocalypse situation, so I’m gonna say it anyway because I’m _not_ dying without telling you that I’m in love with you, Erin Gilbert, and I know that’s a lot this early in a relationship, and I don’t expect that you love me back, but I needed to say it anyway. I needed you to know.”

Erin was looking at Holtz in amazement, and she had suddenly forgotten how to speak. There were so many things she wanted to say, and she didn’t know how to say any of them.

“Oh, fuck,” Abby said suddenly.

Erin tore her gaze away from Holtz as they all slowed from their run and took in the scene in front of them. Above them, the vortex looked even more menacing close up.

“Welcome to the glory days of New York City,” Kevin’s voice boomed around them. “Have fun!”

A tall and thin ghost the size of a building walked over them, and everywhere they looked there were spectral forms. They were screwed.

“Never been good in a fight,” Erin said.

“Well, good news. Here’s your chance to work on that,” Abby replied.

The tall ghost waved his arm and out of the smoke, a line of ghosts appeared.

“Guys, you all have your side arms. I suggest you use them,” Holtz said.

“Okay, power up,” Abby said.

In synchronicity, the four of them pulled their wands from their packs, and the fight began.

Everywhere Erin looked, there were ghosts. They kept coming from every angle. Every time she took one down, another appeared. Running on pure adrenaline, she fought. She fought for the city, and for her friends, and for Holtz, who _loved her_.

She lost track of everything around her. She didn’t know what the others were doing. She was just pointing and shooting at anything spectral. And when she saw the beast from the theatre reappear and snatch up Abby, she shot it down. Then the ghosts from the subway and the Aldridge mansion appeared.

Erin decided it was time to test out the gun strapped to her leg. She pulled it out and squeezed the trigger. The gun exploded, the kick-back jolting her, and the ghosts flew backwards with the impact. Erin looked down at the still-smoking gun. “What the hell?” Was that what it was supposed to do? The sheer power of it amazed her. Holtz was incredible.

Holtz. Where was she? Erin’s eyes found her girlfriend and she took in the hoard of ghosts that had just materialized and were charging at her. Erin started running to help her, but suddenly Holtz had whipped out two guns from the bottom of her proton pack and—did she just _lick_ one? Erin stopped dead, her knees going a little weak.

And then, she watched as Holtz singlehandedly decimated every single ghost in her vicinity with her double proton streams, wielding the guns like they were extensions of her body, twisting, kneeling, knocking out spectres without even looking at them, sending them diving out of her way and crashing into cars, the light from the entities exploding dancing across her face and reflecting in her glasses as she fought with a manic grin on her face. And for her finale, she brought the two streams over her head and disintegrated the tall ghost like it was nothing.

All Erin could do was stare with her mouth hanging open and her heart beating fast.

“YOU JUST GOT HOLTZMANNED, BABY,” Holtz shouted.

Oh, yeah, Erin had got Holtzmanned, alright. And she wanted to be Holtzmanned again, and again, and again…

Holtz appeared to have finished off the fight, so the four of them hesitantly continued on their way to the Mercado.

Erin leaned in to Holtz, breathing heavily, and whispered in her ear, “that was…the single hottest thing I’ve ever seen. If we make it out of this alive, I’m going to tear that jumpsuit right off of you tonight.”

Holtz looked at her in shock and a bit of awe, and then a wicked grin spread across her face. “I’m not wearing anything underneath it.”

Erin lifted her eyebrow. “Really?”

“I dressed for the apocalypse, baby.” Holtz winked.

They arrived at a large crowd of men in military uniforms who were all completely frozen with their fingers pointed to the sky. They picked their way through the immobile forms. Erin half expected someone to suddenly jump out at them or move.

At that moment, the Ecto-1 roared by, filled with ghosts. What the hell? Why did ghosts have the keys to the hearse? That was just perfect.

With nothing else between them and the Mercado, the four Ghostbusters stepped inside at last. They all froze just inside the doors, exchanging scared glances at the mess of swirling green that used to be the hotel’s lobby. Instinctively, Erin reached out for Holtz and then let her hand fall a moment later when she realized she was too far away to touch. After a few seconds pause, they continued inside.

Erin’s boot hit a patch of ectoplasm, and she slipped immediately, falling hard on her back. Half a second later, she bounced back up. “I feel like the slime is after me personally. That’s all I’m saying.”

“This might be a crazy hunch, but I think he’s got that machine up and running again,” Abby said.

Yeah, no kidding.

They took a few steps closer, and out of nowhere a piano flew at them and went crashing into the wall, narrowly missing them.

“Damn, I missed.” Kevin, glowing with spectral energy, stood up on the stairs.

They called out to him and tried to convince Rowan to leave Kevin’s body. Finally, once he had flown to the top of a railing, Rowan released Kevin…right off the edge of the balcony. They all shouted and sprinted in the direction of his falling body. At the last second, Abby and Erin threw themselves underneath him and he landed on their sprawled forms, knocking the wind out of them. They rolled his unconscious body off and scrambled to their feet again.

The four of them tried unsuccessfully to capture Rowan’s ghost while he evaded their proton streams and yelled vague sexist insults at them. Nothing they were doing was working.

“This is ridiculous. Let’s get Kevin,” Abby said.

Erin and Abby each grabbed an arm and started lugging him in the direction of the door.

“I knew he was dumb as a box of rocks. I didn’t know he’s as heavy as one. What’s he made of?”

“Pure muscle. And baby-soft skin,” Erin joked.

They deposited Kevin by the door and turned their attention back to Rowan, who wanted to know what form he should take. Patty suggested something small and cute, and suddenly Rowan appeared as their friendly ghost logo. Well, that could work.

Except—what was he doing? He was growing. And growing. He drew his arm back and sent a wave of ectoplasm at them that hit so hard that all five of them were thrown backwards and skidded onto the street. Erin felt herself collide with something solid that then gave way, and she realized that they had started a chain reaction knocking over the stationary military men behind them. As she propped herself onto her elbows, she took in the sound of breaking glass as Rowan continued to grow and smash his way through the floors of the hotel.

Abby screamed at them to run.

And that’s what they did.

Erin couldn’t stop looking back as the massive, building-sized version of Rowan tore his way through remnants of the Mercado and stepped onto the street with a step that shook the ground. He began chasing after them, and Erin realized that he’d catch up with them in 30 seconds flat. There was no way they could outrun him.

She spun and unleashed a stream of proton fire at his hulking form. Abby called her name as he reared and roared, his shoulder now burning.

They ran around a corner and tucked themselves into an alley to hide from him. He continued to stomp around and punch buildings like an actual toddler. Once he had passed by, they began running back to the Mercado.

What used to be a building was now just a green vortex. Erin was running a little too fast and the edge was a lot closer than she anticipated. Losing her balance, she reached blindly to her side for Holtz, and Holtz’ arm collided with her at the same moment. They fumbled to link their arms and Holtz pulled Erin back from the edge of the portal. When she had regained her balance, Holtz let go of her, but she left her fingers touching Erin’s hand for a moment longer.

“We need to reverse the portal,” Abby said. “That’s going to take an insane amount of energy.”

“Yo!” Patty said. “What about that nuclear thing on top of the car?”

The rest of them spun around to see the hearse careening towards them, sirens blaring.

“If we can get those reactors super-critical inside the vortex, the beta radiation could 180 the polarity!” Holtz said excitedly.

Erin could see where she was going with this. “Causing a total protonic reversal!”

“It’s going to turn that portal into a giant ghost trap! You’re a genius, Patty,” Abby said.

“I’m a Ghostbuster.”

They narrowed the path of the car with some blasts from their proton guns, and dove out of the way as it drove straight through them and into the vortex.

“Aim for the silver canisters,” Holtz instructed.

They lit up the car with proton streams and watched it get sucked into the vortex. The explosion was instant, and the green of the vortex lit up red.

“It’s working!” Erin cried as the nearby ghosts began being sucked into the vortex.

They turned their attention to Rowan, who was gripping onto a set of buildings.

“He’s too strong,” Erin said. “We can’t let the portal close while he’s still here.”

“Alright ladies, let’s loosen his grip,” Abby said.

They began firing directly at his crotch. Man, there was something satisfying about that. He whimpered and dropped his hands to cover the wound. Now without a stronghold on the buildings, the portal was able to pull him in. It pulled him closer, and closer, and he began falling into it, and Erin had just enough time to register that he was reaching towards her and Abby before she felt Abby shove her away and shout, “Look out!”

And then she watched as her best friend was pulled into the portal in the clutches of Rowan’s fist.

No.

She wasn’t going to lose Abby again. She couldn’t. Not when they had finally rebuilt their friendship.

Without bothering to think about the consequences, she looked around and spotted a metal cable. Determined, she returned her proton wand to the pack, looped and knotted the cable around her waist, and then with one final shout to Abby that she was coming, she jumped inside the portal.

It was about two seconds later that she remembered Holtz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [In case you want to rip your heart out a little more thinking about apocalypse!Holtzbert](http://jillbert.tumblr.com/post/151794101640/dont-cry-youre-mine-for-forever)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Because if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me.


	12. under the street lights the scene is being set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was no update yesterday because I'm tired and overwhelmed with...basically everything in my life right now. The next chapter will be posted sometime in the next few days. Don't know when.
> 
> Anyway you came to read Holtzbert, so go forth

Holtz watched in complete horror as her first and best friend was sucked into a ghost portal, probably to never be seen again. Instantly, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and the world blurred around her.

And then, in her blurry field of vision: Erin, sprinting at the rapidly-closing portal. Holtz couldn’t think. She couldn’t cry out. She couldn’t do anything.

Erin dove in head-first.

Patty screamed beside her.

And Erin was gone.

Abby and Erin were gone.

Both of them.

Holtz’ best friend.

The woman she was in love with.

Gone.

“GRAB THE CABLE,” Patty shouted.

Holtz was frozen. Numb.

“HOLTZY. WE NEED TO GET THEM OUT OF THERE.”

That snapped her out of it. They could still get them out. Or, at the very least, they could get Erin out. Holtz scrambled to grab the quickly-retreating cord. Trying to brace herself against the ground, Holtz barked out an order to pull.

The two of them heaved with all they had. The building was reforming around them. The sky had returned to light. They kept pulling, hand over hand. Holtz could feel her broken rib screaming at her. Every muscle in her body wanted to collapse.

She kept pulling.

“We gotta get ‘em out of there,” she repeated to herself, over and over.

All of a sudden there was a jump in resistance, and both Holtz and Patty flew backwards. Holtz stumbled over the curb and fell onto her back.

And through the doors of the rebuilt Mercado, the love of her life and her best friend emerged.

All Holtz could do was stare in disbelief. Had they done it? Were they alive? Or had travelling through a ghost portal killed them?

Abby and Erin grunted and struggled to try to get up.

They were alive.

The widest smile burst across Holtz’ face. “Shut up. YEAH!” They were alive. Oh my God, they were alive.

She all but leapt up and raced towards Erin, who was untying the cord from around her waist.

“YEAH! YEAH!” Holtz kept shouting.

She reached Erin and hoisted her up, then pulled her into a crushing embrace. A second later, she felt the pain hit her rib, and stepped an arm’s length away to examine her girlfriend for damage. The only notable change was her suddenly-white hair.

Patty noticed at the same time that she did, and then Erin and Abby incredulously stared at each other and laughing. Holtz couldn’t stop laughing too. She felt completely giddy.

“Oh my gosh. What year is it?” Erin asked.

Holtz couldn’t resist. “It’s 2040. Our president is a plant.”

Patty smacked her arm.

“Oh my God!” Abby said.

“I’m kidding, you were gone two seconds.” Even though it had felt like an eternity.

Kevin rejoined them from God knows where, and Holtz had never been more excited to see their loveable dumb puppy dog of a receptionist. Even if he _had_ stolen and ruined her motorcycle.

Eventually, the men from Homeland Security wandered over to interrupt. They looked pretty ashamed of themselves.

“Now what?” Abby said.

“Can we have a word about what just happened?” the taller of the two asked.

“Nope. Try again later,” Holtz said.

“But—” the other one started.

“We’re walking away,” Patty said, and that they did.

As they strode off purposefully, Erin laced her fingers through Holtz’. Holtz looked down at their clasped hands and smiled.

“Can’t scare me like that again,” Holtz said softly. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Erin scoffed. “As if a ghost portal could take down Erin Gilbert.” Then her face turned serious. “I’m sorry, Holtz. I shouldn’t have jumped in like that. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. You needed to save Abby.” Holtz shrugged, and then winced as the movement once again agitated the broken rib. “Hey guys, think our next stop could be a hospital?”

Erin looked at her sharply. “What?!?”

“Broken rib. No big deal. But I should probably get it looked at.” She lowered her voice so only Erin would be able to hear. “Especially if you plan to make good on that promise from earlier.”

Erin blushed only slightly. “Well,” she said, her voice firm, “let’s get you to the hospital, then, shall we?”

Holtz grinned.

Later, after she had been rushed in (the hospitals were flooded with people who had been injured by the ghosts, but a loud proclamation that they were the Ghostbusters and they had saved the city earned her a priority spot), and her rib had been taped up, Holtz was released to go home.

“Do you guys want to go back to headquarters and celebrate?” Abby asked once Holtz had rejoined them in the waiting room.

Holtz shot a glance at Erin, who looked back and bit her lip. “Actually, Abby,” Erin said, “It’s been a really long day and we have tons of time to celebrate. I’m going to take Holtz back to my place so I can take care of her.”

“ _Yeah_ she will.” Holtz smirked.

“Oh, Jesus.” Abby covered her ears. “I’m going to pretend I never heard that.”

Patty just cackled. “Don’t exert yourself too hard, Holtzy.”

Holtz winked.

Erin grabbed her hand and tugged. “Come on. We’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

They walked slowly and lazily to Erin’s apartment, hand-in-hand. Around them, the citizens of the city still looked a little dazed, and they paid no attention to the two of them in their gear.

They got inside Erin’s apartment and set their proton packs on the ground. Before Holtz could say anything, Erin had closed the distance between them and was kissing her, gently and passionately at the same time, her hands coming to rest gingerly on Holtz’ hips. Erin pulled away a few seconds later, and Holtz let out a little whine, but Erin didn’t go far.

She moved one hand to trace Holtz’ cheek and down her jaw, and Holtz felt her knees go weak.

“Holtz?” Erin said softly.

“Mmm?”

“I didn’t have time to say anything before, because of the whole apocalypse thing, but I love you too.”

Holtz blinked. Once. Twice. “What?”

Erin breathed out. “I’m in love with you too. I don’t know how it happened, but I think that you’re…I think that we’re…we were meant to find each other, Holtz.”

“You’re in love with me,” Holtz repeated.

“Yes.”

“In love. With me?”

“Yes.” Erin frowned. “Unless you were joking. Then…uh…so am I.”

Holtz threw herself at Erin to crush their lips together with so much force that she sent both of them toppling to the ground. Holtz landed on top of Erin and grunted as the fall aggravated her broken rib again.

“Holtz! Oh my gosh, are you okay?”

Unruffled, Holtz pushed herself up and rearranged herself so she was straddling Erin’s hips. Then she leaned down, cupping Erin’s head in both her hands, and kissed her slowly and softly. “I—was—not—joking,” she whispered, kissing Erin between each word. She drew back enough to look at Erin’s reaction.

Erin was just lying there on her back on the hardwood floor, her arms down by her sides, a look of awe on her face. “You weren’t kidding?”

“Definitely not.”

“That’s a first.”

Holtz stared down at her. “Why would I joke about being in love with you?”

“You joke about literally everything, Holtz.”

She moved her thumb to ever-so-gently stroke Erin’s cheek. “Not you.”

Erin tilted her chin up to connect their lips once more.

They kissed for a little while before Erin pulled away and cleared her throat. “As great as this is, lying on this floor is killing my back.”

Holtz tugged on a chunk of her white hair. “You’re such a grandma.”

“Holtz! Didn’t you _just_ say that you would never joke about me?”

“About our relationship or my feelings for you,” Holtz clarified. “You’re fair game.”

She stood up and helped pull Erin to her feet too. Erin rubbed at her back and winced.

“Need a massage?” Holtz smirked.

Erin raised her eyebrows. “Serious offer?”

“Of course.”

Erin pursed her lips. “Interesting. Might take you up on that later. Right now I think we need some dinner, though.”

“I like the way you think, Dr. Gilbert.”

Erin walked over to her fridge and inspected the contents. “How do you feel about eggs?”

“Ah yes, the traditional post-apocalypse meal.”

Erin shot her a look. “If you’re going to complain…”

Holtz threw her hands up. “No, no, egg away!”

Erin began preparing some sort of omelette. Holtz came up behind her as she flipped it in the pan, and she wrapped her arms around Erin’s waist from behind and stood on her tip-toes to rest her chin on Erin’s shoulder. Erin hummed at the contact.

“You’re _eggcellent_ at that,” Holtz whispered.

Erin froze. “Holtz. No.”

“Sorry, is it a bad time for _yolks_?”

Erin set down her spatula and slowly turned in Holtz’ arms so she was facing her with a few inches between their faces. “Don’t you dare.”

“Stop _egging_ me on.”

“I’m not!”

“Oh, Erin.” Holtz leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose. “You _crack_ me up.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“That’s a little _eggstreme._ I think you’re _eggsaggerating_.”

“No, I’m actually going to kill you if one more egg pun comes out of your mouth.”

“I think I’ll _whisk_ it. Come on, these puns are just too _over-easy_ to make. Admit that they’re _eggceptional_.”

Erin turned back to the stove and didn’t say anything as she slid the omelette onto a plate. Holtz poked her in the back. “Don’t _egg_ nore me.”

“I hate you. I actually hate you.”

“ _Omelette_ that slide. It’s _eggstra_ ea—”

Erin let out some sort of strangled scream of frustration and whipped back around to crush her lips to Holtz’, cutting her off from saying anything more. She kissed Holtz until she started to see stars, and when Erin finally pulled away, Holtz was completely out of breath.

“That was much better than another egg pun,” she gasped out.

Erin smirked at her. “That’s _eggsactly_ what I was going for.”

Holtz’ mouth fell open with glee. “Erin Gilbert! Look at you! I’m _shell_ - _shocked_. You’re _poaching_ my best _yolks_. I’m _scrambling_ to come up with any more.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “Let’s go eat.”

“God, I love you,” Holtz said.

They sat at the island and picked away at the omelette.

“Couldn’t have made more than one of these?” Holtz smirked, her mouth full of egg.

Erin glared at her. “Somebody distracted me with egg puns. There’s plenty here for both of us.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Holtz shoved another forkful of in her mouth.

When they were done eating, Holtz grabbed the plate and started washing the dishes. She could feel Erin watching her from the other side of the island.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“You cooked and I did nothing but pun. This is the least I can do to help.” She set the frying pan on the drying rack and picked up the last item in the sink, a soapy fork. She hesitated for a second, then turned to Erin, a smirk spreading across her face as she lifted the piece of cutlery. “Hey Erin, wanna _fork_?” She lifted her eyebrows suggestively.

Erin’s mouth fell open. “Did you really just…”

Holtz’ smirk grew. She dropped the fork back into the sudsy water and, wiping her wet hands on her jumpsuit, strode around the island to Erin.

“What are you—”

Erin broke off as Holtz pressed her hands down on Erin’s shoulders heavily and kissed her far more passionately than their previous kisses. “I want you,” she growled against Erin’s lips. She moved to kiss her way along Erin’s jaw and up to her ear, where she grazed her earlobe with her teeth and noted the goosebumps that erupted and the way Erin’s breath caught.

“Holtz…” Erin choked out.

Holtz pulled away and grabbed Erin’s hand, tugging her off the stool and down the hall in search of a bedroom. She found it easily, and took in the grey-on-white colour scheme that Erin seemed so fond of. On the bed, there was a copy of _Ghosts from Our Past_ that Holtz immediately shoved to the floor, then she pushed Erin down onto the bed. She crawled up so she was hovering over Erin and resumed kissing her.

“Holtz,” Erin whispered. She propped herself up onto her elbows. “Holtz, you’ve got a broken rib.”

Holtz pulled away and looked down at her. “We can be gentle. I’ll be fine.”

“But…what about my hair? It’s…look at it! I’m not…”

“You’re beautiful.” Holtz shifted her weight to one arm and moved her other hand to sweep a strand of the hair in question away from Erin’s face.

“Holtz, I…”

The tone of her voice caught Holtz’ attention. She pulled away fully and crawled so she was sitting beside Erin. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready or you don’t want to.”

Erin pushed herself all the way up so she was also sitting. “Oh, I want to. Believe me, I want to.”

“It doesn’t seem like you—”

Erin leaned over and silenced her with a quick kiss. “I want to. But not tonight. Not while you’re hurt. It’s been an intense day, to say the least. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Immensely,” Holtz admitted. “But I’m also pretty wired. Saving the world gives you quite the high. Who knew?”

“Yeah, me too. But as much as post-apocalypse victory sex sounds amazing, I think we need to do the mature thing and wait until you’ve healed a bit more.”

“Damn. You’re right, of course.” Holtz leaned in to kiss her again. “I’m sorry I had to get hurt and ruin what could’ve been some fantastic post-apocalypse victory sex.”

“What happened, anyway? Did you get hurt during the big fight in Times Square?”

Holtz winced. “Not quite. Uhhhhhh. Rowan sorta…possessed Abby before he possessed Kevin.”

“What?” Erin’s jaw dropped.

“And possessed-Abby kinda sorta broke my rib hurling me across the room. And then she threw me out the window.”

“Oh…my God… _Holtz_.” Erin took her hands. “Are you _okay?_ ”

“Well, my rib’s not,” Holtz joked. “But uh, I guess not. I’m still a little shaken up about it. Patty caught me and managed to fight off Rowan to pull me back inside, but there was a stretch of time there that I was pretty certain I was going to die.”

“That’s what you meant when you said you almost died,” Erin whispered.

“I thought you were never going to know that I love you. I love you, by the way.”

Erin leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I love you too. I can’t believe you almost died.” Her voice broke on the last word.

“At least if I had died it wouldn’t have been my fault,” Holtz said, “Ms. Jumping-Into-a-Ghost-Portal.”

Erin winced. “I’m sorry. Neither of us did die, and that’s what’s important. We’re here. We’re together. And we saved the city.”

Holtz chuckled lowly. “We did.” She squeezed Erin’s hands.

“Holtz, will you…do you want to stay the night? Even though we’re not…”

“I’d love to.” Holtz beamed. “And not just because I have no clue how I would get back to my apartment.”

The corner of Erin’s mouth twitched. “You could steal a car like I did.”

Holtz felt her eyebrows shoot up. “You _what_?”

Erin released one of Holtz’ hands to cover her mouth as she began giggling. “I stole a car. I stole a car to go get my gear.”

“Oh my God, you stole a car. You, Erin Gilbert, stole a car? Erin Gilbert stole a car. Is this real life?”

Erin was still laughing.

“Erin Gilbert. I cannot believe you. _Yesterday_ you stole a single goddamn screw from a hardware store, and today you stole a _car?_ At this rate you’ll be in prison for robbing a bank by the end of the week! I’ve created a monster!”

Holtz reached out and began tickling Erin’s sides. Her laughter got louder, bursting out of her in peals as she gasped for breath. “H-Holtz! Stop! I can’t—”

“My girlfriend’s a criminal,” Holtz sang.

Erin managed to capture Holtz’ wrists and hold them away. “You’re a menace.”

“ _You’re_ the menace. You stole a caaaar. You need to be locked up. You’re too cute for the world to handle.”

Erin puffed her chest out. “Cute? Come on, I’m a total badass. Did you see me taking down those ghosts?”

Holtz grinned. “You’re a _total_ badass. And you look hot as hell wielding a proton gun.”

“That’s more like it. And I’m sure I had nothing on you. Watching you decimate those ghosts was just…” She licked her lips and raked her eyes down Holtz’ body.

Holtz cleared her throat. “Hey Erin? Not helping with the no-sex thing, there.”

Erin blinked. “Right. Sorry.”

They stared at each other for a few moments.

“We should get in bed,” Erin said.

Holtz raised an eyebrow. “Right _now_? It’s so early. God, you really are a grandma.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “We don’t have to _sleep_ yet. We could just cuddle and talk. I’m just really ready to change out of this jumpsuit and rest my aching muscles.”

“That does sound pretty excellent.”

Erin got up off the bed and started unzipping her jumpsuit. She grabbed a stack of fabric from her dresser and disappeared into her bathroom. She returned a few moments later, dressed in a set of matching lavender pajamas. She took in Holtz, still sitting on the bed.

“Are you going to change?” she asked.

“Into what?”

“Oh. Here, I’ll try to find something for you.” Erin started rummaging through her dresser.

Holtz hopped off the bed and unzipped her own jumpsuit, letting it fall to a puddle at her feet. She’d never been very modest.

“What do you need? I’ve got—” Erin broke off, having turned around and spotted Holtz. She ran her eyes up and down Holtz’ body, taking in her simple sports bra and boxer-briefs. She coughed. “You lied.”

“What?” Holtz cocked her head.

“You said you weren’t wearing anything underneath your jumpsuit.”

Holtz smirked. “Miniscule exaggeration. Disappointed?”

Erin bit her lip to hide a smile. “It’s probably for the best.”

“Ah yes,” Holtz agreed. “For the no-sex thing.”

“Yeah.” There were a few seconds of silence. “Right, so, uh. What do you need? To sleep in?”

“Just a shirt is fine, if you have one.” Holtz grinned.

Erin turned back to the dresser and pulled a neatly-folded piece of fabric from the very back. She pushed the drawer back in and walked over to Holtz. She stopped a foot away but made no move to give Holtz the shirt. Instead, before Holtz would register what she was doing, Erin had dropped into a bit of a crouch. Slowly and hesitantly, she reached out and ghosted her fingers over the tape over Holtz’ broken rib.

“Does this hurt?” Erin whispered.

“No,” Holtz whispered back.

Erin leaned in and gently pressed her lips to the spot, so softly and carefully that it didn’t cause any pain. Holtz closed her eyes at the touch, and breathed in deeply. She opened her eyes again to see Erin looking up at her.

“You okay?” Erin asked.

“I’m perfect,” Holtz replied. She really was.

Erin stood up again and handed her the shirt. Holtz unfolded it—it was an oversized shirt from a science camp that Erin must’ve attended. She smiled at that. She turned her back to Erin and pulled off her sports bra, then slipped the shirt over her head.

The two of them crawled into bed together. Holtz squirmed around until she found a comfortable position and snaked her arm under Erin to pull her closer. Even though she had been making fun of Erin for the early hour, as soon as her head hit the pillow, Holtz felt a wave of exhaustion hit her. She yawned.

“I think I’m the grandma now,” she said sleepily.

Erin traced her fingers up and down Holtz’ arm. “You can sleep if you want. It’s been a long day.”

Holtz smiled. “We saved the world today.”

“Yeah, we kinda did, didn’t we?”

Holtz kissed her. Then she settled back, secure and content, and drifted off to sleep with her girlfriend pulled close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you caught the reference to one of my past fics, I'll love you forever. 
> 
> Comments make me happy and give me encouragement and I could really use that right now


	13. a night for romance (a night you won't forget)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments on the last chapter. I'm still struggling right now but your comments make me smile. :)
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by ALL the references to past fics. And a subtle lil fourth wall break about my own sentimentality. I can't help it, guys. We've come so far and I am e m o t i o n a l.

Erin woke up with another body in her bed and her muscles aching, and she jumped to one possible conclusion before remembering what had _actually_ happened the previous day. She turned her head to the side and took in Holtz’ sleeping form: limbs sprawled everywhere and blonde hair that had come undone from her hairdo splayed across the pillow. She had kicked all the blankets to Erin’s side overnight so her bare legs were visible. Erin’s oversized shirt was riding up, exposing the smooth skin of her stomach and the tape on her ribs. Her mouth hung open and at that second, she let out a very loud snore.

Erin couldn’t help but smile at the woman who she was, without a doubt, going to spend the rest of her life with.

She watched Holtz sleep for a little while longer, and then she couldn’t wait any longer and gently nudged her awake.

Holtz blinked at her sleepily like she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing there. Then a second later, a slow smile spread across her face as she must’ve remembered. “Morning, Erin,” she said. Her voice was even lower and huskier than usual, and if Erin had to wake up to _that_ every morning for the rest of her life, well, she wasn’t sure they’d _ever_ get out of bed.

“Morning, Holtz. How’s your rib?”

“I can hardly feel it.”

Erin rolled onto her side so she could see Holtz better. “I can’t believe we stopped a ghost apocalypse from happening yesterday.”

Holtz scoffed. “I can. We’re the Ghostbusters.”

Erin laughed quietly. They were silent for a few moments, just watching each other. “You know,” Erin said finally, “I really don’t want to go anywhere today.”

“So let’s stay here and cuddle instead,” Holtz said, snuggling closer to Erin to punctuate her words.

That’s just what they did, at least until hunger got the best of them. After they had eaten breakfast, they curled up on the couch together.

At noon, Abby phoned.

“Are you guys planning on coming into work today?”

“Uhhh…I think Holtz needs to rest, so I don’t think so.”

“Erin tired me out last night,” Holtz shouted, loud enough that Abby would be able to hear.

“Jesus,” Abby muttered. “Fine. But you’re coming out for drinks later. Don’t try to fight it.”

“Abby, my hair! It looks ridiculous. I can’t go out in public.”

“Slap some dye on it; that’s what I did.”

“When did you have time to dye your hair?”

“Some of us haven’t been _otherwise preoccupied_ all night and morning.”

Erin snorted. “Bye, Abby.” She hung up the phone despite Abby’s sputtered protests.

Holtz smirked at her. “Are we in trouble for playing hooky?”

“She’ll get over it,” Erin replied.

Holtz grabbed a section of Erin’s hair and twisted it around her finger. “Y’know, it really doesn’t look that bad.”

Erin made a face. “Yeah it does. I need to get some dye on it pronto.”

“Want me to go buy you some so you don’t have to go in public?”

Erin blinked. “You’d do that?”

“Of course.” Holtz grinned.

“I mean, if it’s not too much trouble…”

“Erin. I offered.” Holtz was already standing up from the couch.

“But you have a broken rib!”

Holtz rolled her eyes. “Exactly. It’s not a broken leg. I’m fine. Let me do this.” She disappeared into Erin’s room and came back with her jumpsuit back on and knotted around her waist and still wearing Erin’s shirt.

“That’s a…look,” Erin said, trying to cover her smile.

Holtz winked. “I can rock it.”

She kinda could. She could make a garbage bag look good, Erin decided.

Holtz took off, with the promise of being back before Erin could say ‘ghost.’ Erin settled back into the couch with a smile and patiently waited for her girlfriend to return.

Over an hour passed before she got back. Erin had resigned to watching TV while she waited. Every single news channel was reporting on the apocalypse.

She looked up, startled, when her door flew open.

“You will not _believe_ the lengths I went to in order to get this,” Holtz declared dramatically, holding up a drug store bag.

Erin leapt up and went to kiss her. “My hero. I missed you.”

She took the bag from Holtz and removed the box of dye. She inspected the picture on the front and the colour name.

“Before you say anything, just know that I tried six different stores before I found one that was open. People are still a little freaked out about yesterday. It seems like the only open businesses are the ones who are desperate for money, and I think I discovered why this one is so desperate. Noooottt a lot of choices.”

“‘Garfield’,” Erin read off the box. “It looks…pretty orange. Better than white, I guess.”

Holtz took the box back from her. “You’re much prettier than the model, so if she can pull it off, you can too.”

Erin blushed at that.

Holtz smirked in return. “I’m never going to get tired of making you blush.”

They moved into Erin’s bathroom after she changed from her good pajamas into an old shirt and some sweats. Erin moved to grab the box but Holtz shook her head and held it out of reach.

“Nuh uh. I’ve got this,” Holtz said. She tore the box open with her teeth, and Erin felt her heart rate increase at the sight and she shifted in place as she sucked in a quick breath. Holtz didn’t miss it. She looked at Erin with one eyebrow raised. “Really? That?”

Erin bit her lip. “It’s not my fault you’re really hot. I think you do it on purpose.”

Holtz smirked evilly. “I totally do.” She removed the supplied gloves from the dye box and pulled them on, not breaking eye contact with Erin while she exaggeratedly snapped them into place. A bit of an involuntary whine escaped Erin’s mouth.

Holtz let out a low whistle. “Daaamn.” She snickered quietly and gestured to the closed toilet. “Come sit down before you hurt yourself.”

Erin awkwardly straddled the toilet seat so she was facing the wall. Beside her, Holtz mixed the dye. Erin side-eyed her. “You look like you know what you’re doing.”

Holtz shot her a look. “Did it escape your attention that I bleach my hair?”

Erin frowned. “Well, no. I can see the roots. I just assumed you had it professionally done.”

Holtz snorted. “Who can afford that?”

“Isn’t box bleach super brassy and unfortunate, though?”

“Who said anything about box bleach?” Holtz grinned. “You gotta know where to get the good stuff. Or how to make it.”

She had finished mixing the dye and came over to stand behind Erin. A few seconds later, Erin felt cool liquid touch her scalp. Holtz set the bottle down on the counter and started working the dye into Erin’s hair with nimble fingers. Erin closed her eyes at the contact and hummed.

“What is it about having your hair played with that feels so good?” she said with a soft sigh.

Holtz’ hands left her hair. “Oh no.”

Erin laughed. “Not like that. It’s just nice, you know?”

Holtz chuckled and returned to combing the dye through. “Suuuure it’s not like that.” She dug her fingers a little into Erin’s scalp. Erin didn’t realize Holtz was leaning over until she felt her warm breath by her ear. “Erin likes having her hair played with. Storing that information away for future reference,” she said in a low voice. To punctuate her point, she playfully tugged on a section of hair.

Erin’s breath caught. “Now who’s not helping with the no-sex thing?” she managed to get out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Erin could practically _hear_ the smirk in Holtz’ voice.

Holtz worked quickly to get the rest of the dye in, then she peeled off her gloves. “All done! Now you just need to let that sit for…” She checked the box. “25 to 30 minutes! Any ideas on how to fill all that time?”

Erin swung her leg around and shifted so she was facing Holtz and pulled her down onto her lap. “I have a few.”

35 minutes later (they had gotten a little distracted) Holtz disentangled herself to shut off the alarm that had been blaring on her phone for the last 10 minutes. She smirked at Erin. “You should really wash that out. Need some help?”

Erin pointed to the bathroom door, out of breath. “Leave. Now. Before I take you up on that.”

“Yes ma’am.” Holtz saluted.

Later, after Erin had showered and washed out all the dye, she stood in front of her mirror and examined her hair. It was violently orange. She couldn’t tell if it was better or worse than the white.

Holtz seemed to like it. Then again, she could’ve just been saying that.

They curled up on the couch together again and put on a movie that neither of them were really paying attention to. They ignored a few texts from Abby before finally Erin fired off a response.

_We don’t want to go anywhere today. Maybe tomorrow!_

She added a smiley face and hit send.

Afternoon fell into night. Erin traced patterns up and down Holtz’ arm and snuggled closer to her. “Will you stay again?”

Holtz kissed her forehead. “Of course, pumpkin.”

“I said to knock it off with the orange jokes.”

“Whaaat? That was merely a term of endearment!”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Nah, it wasn’t. Good try, though, right?”

Erin just shook her head.

They fell asleep pressed close together for the second night in a row. Once again, Holtz fell asleep almost instantly, snoring and warm beside Erin.

Yeah, she could get used to this.

The next morning, she awoke to Holtz poking her face. She opened one eye and squinted at her girlfriend, who was so beautifully mussed with sleep. She was lying on her side facing Erin with one elbow propping her head up.

“Morning,” Erin croaked.

Holtz beamed at her. “Morning. Question. Are you open to leaving the building today?”

“Um. That’s probably a good idea. Did you have plans in mind or are you just wanting to get back to work at headquarters?”

“I need to go to my apartment,” Holtz replied.

“Oh. Okay. Why?”

“Well, as much as I like wearing your clothes, I’m starting to question the cleanliness of my underwear.”

Erin coughed.

“Plus,” Holtz added, “I have several tiny fur babies who need my attention.”

“What?”

“Chinchillas,” she clarified. “I’ve rigged up their food for automatic dispensing, but they get sad when I don’t cuddle them.”

“Oh!” Erin blinked. “You have chinchillas?”

“Yeah, like four.”

“ _Four?_ ”

“Yeah. Wanna come meet ‘em?”

The thought made Erin strangely nervous. “What if they don’t like me?” It was a dumb question, childish almost.

Holtz didn’t even blink. “They’ll adore you.”

That is how Erin ended up at Holtz’ apartment for the first time. The first thing she registered when she walked in the door was the fecal smell. She wrinkled her nose.

“Sorry about the smell,” Holtz said. “I know it’s a little shitty.”

Erin blatantly ignored the pun. “Is it always this bad?”

“There’s been no air circulation for a few days, so no. Also I’m pretty good about cleaning up the cage when I’m actually around.”

That’s when Erin noticed the cage—if cage was even the right word to describe the hulking monstrosity that spanned an entire wall of the apartment. There wasn’t even other furniture in the main room, that’s how much room it took up.

“That’s…wow.”

“I built it myself,” Holtz said proudly. She strode over to the cage. “Hey babies, Mommy’s home!”

There was a flurry of motion inside the cage and Erin spotted several flashes of grey. Holtz undid one of the doors and turned around with a ball of fluff cradled in her arms. Erin stepped closer to inspect the small animal. Before she could say anything Holtz had thrust the chinchilla towards her and into her arms. Erin took it a little hesitantly. How was one supposed to hold a chinchilla?

“It’s so soft,” she murmured, stroking its head. “What’s its name?”

Holtz clucked her tongue as she removed two more chinchillas from the cage, holding one in each hand tucked against her chest. “I can’t tell them apart. It’s either Marie, Higgs, Pluto, or Ellen.”

Erin blinked. “Okay, I got the first two. But Pluto? The planet? Or is it short for plutonium?”

Holtz grinned. “The cartoon dog.”

“ _Really,_ Holtz?”

“He’s my favourite cartoon character!”

“You’re such a nerd.” Erin smiled fondly and snuggled the chinchilla against her face. “And Ellen?”

“A personal hero.”

“Which Ellen?”

“DeGeneres, of course,” Holtz scoffed. “ _Which Ellen_. As if there’s any other Ellen.”

“Well, I don’t know!”

“She was _very_ important to baby-gay Jillian. Had to repay her somehow.” Holtz pressed a tiny kiss to each of the chinchillas in her arms in turn.

“Sometimes I forget that you have an actual first name. Jillian is such a pretty name. Why doesn’t anyone call you that?”

Holtz shrugged. “I think Holtzmann suits me better.” She bent down and deposited the two chinchillas onto the floor.

“What are you doing?”

“They like exploring. Hey, I’m gonna go change. Why don’t you take the fourth one out and let them all run around? You can sit on the floor to play with them. Or if you lie down on your back, they’ll come and walk on your tummy. It’s fun!” With that, she disappeared into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Erin placed the one in her arms on the ground and carefully stepped over the others to fetch the fourth one from the cage. She sank to the ground and watched the four tiny grey fluffballs roam around her. They _were_ pretty darn cute. After a few moments of hesitation, she leaned back to lie down.

A few seconds later, one of the chinchillas climbed up onto her stomach. She giggled. The tiny feet tickled. “Hi, cutie,” she cooed.

And then she felt warm liquid seeping into her shirt.

“ _What?_ Did you just—Hooooooltz!”

The bedroom door opened and Holtz poked her head out. “Yeah? Aww, you look so cute.”

“I think your chinchilla just peed on me.”

Holtz began snickering. “Oops. Shoulda warned you that they do that sometimes.”

Erin lifted the perpetrator off her stomach and onto the floor, then sat up. Yeah, there was a wet spot on her shirt now. She looked up at Holtz. “Seriously?”

Holtz shrugged. “They gotta go when they gotta go.”

Erin was distracted from the pee situation by her phone ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw that Abby was calling. With a sigh she answered.

“Erin! I’m glad you picked up,” Abby said. “The mayor’s assistant wants to meet with us at 1:00 today.”

Erin groaned. “Of course. Alright, we’ll be there.”

“I’ll text you the address.”

Abby hung up. Erin put her phone back in her pocket and turned her attention back to her shirt. “We need to meet with the mayor’s assistant in a few hours and I have pee on my shirt,” she said, just loud enough that Holtz would be able to hear her from the bedroom.

“Want to borrow one of mine? It seems only fair,” Holtz called back.

Erin considered that. It was either that or make the trek back to her apartment to get a new shirt. “Yeah, okay.”

“Why don’t you try to wrangle them back into the cage and then you can come pick something out?”

“Okay,” Erin called. “Come on, you little buggers, time to get back inside.” She managed to get the first three in easily, but the fourth kept running away. She was willing to bet it was the same one that peed on her. Finally, she managed to grab it and get it into the cage. She locked the door on them. “Take that! I win! I outsmarted you!”

“I don’t think they understand what you’re saying.”

Erin turned around to see Holtz leaning against her doorframe, smirking at her.

Holtz’ closet turned out to be just as intimidating as Erin would’ve expected. The tamest things in her wardrobe were t-shirts, but Erin thought that probably wasn’t professional enough to wear to meet the mayor’s assistant, as much as she disliked the woman.

Ultimately she selected a soft, worn flannel shirt in muted colours. She stripped out of her pee-soaked shirt and traded it for the new one. As she buttoned it up, she felt Holtz’ gaze on her.

“I said it before and I’ll say it again,” Holtz said, coming to stand close and putting her arms around Erin. “You look _really_ good in my clothes.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss the tip of Erin’s nose.

Erin flushed. “Are all your clothes this soft? Because I might make a habit of it. I wish I owned more stuff like this.”

“What, flannel? Yeah, you should fix that.” Holtz winked.

Erin just giggled and pressed her lips to Holtz’.

When they arrived (late: they got distracted again) at the bar that they were meeting the mayor’s assistant at (Abby had told her that they could do the meeting at a bar or not at all), both Abby and Patty were already there, sitting at a table and nursing beers.

Erin pulled out the chair next to Abby and sat down.

“Well, look who finally emerged from their sex-cave,” Abby said.

Holtz winked at her as she sat down next to Patty.

“How’s that rib, Holtzy? Hope you didn’t go too hard.” Patty grinned over her beer.

Holtz stretched back in her chair with her arms behind her head. “Oh, lemme tell you…”

“Enough,” Erin said. She grabbed the pitcher and poured herself a glass.

“Your hair’s very…orange, Erin,” Patty said.

Erin took a long sip from her beer. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Guys, we’re on TV again,” Holtz said. She pointed at the TVs on the wall of the bar, where the news was still covering the apocalypse.

“With the government trying to claim the event wasn’t supernatural, despite so many eyewitness accounts, the big question is: was it the four women who refer to themselves as ‘Ghostbusters’ who actually thwarted the attack? We may never know.”

Wait, was the government _still_ trying to cover this up? Really? Somehow, the thought didn’t bother her as much as it would’ve a few days prior.

“Well, now I know how Batman feels,” Erin said. She tugged on a section of her hair and looked down at it. It was looking more neon by the minute.

Abby reached out and batted her hand away. “You know what, you don’t have to keep fiddling with it. I think it…I think it looks nice. Right?” She looked to the other two for confirmation.

Holtz grinned across the table at Erin with her cheek propped on her hand. “I’d talk to you at an AA meeting.” She picked up her own glass and took a sip, still smirking.

Patty snorted.

“It’s my fault, anyway,” Erin said quickly, before the others could see the pink forming on her cheeks. “The box said the colour was called ‘Garfield.’” That really should’ve been the warning sign. Holtz had gone to so much trouble to get it, though. “It wasn’t even the cat. It was the president.” That she hadn’t known until after she had washed the dye out.

Abruptly, without any warning or precursors, Holtz tapped a fork against her glass. “You know what, I want to make a toast.” She stood from her seat with a clatter and a scraping-back of her chair.

“Uh oh, here we go,” Erin said. She was about 95% sure that this wasn’t going to be a serious toast. The other 5% though, well…Holtz had surprised her before. Were they about to get another rare glimpse of Serious Holtzmann?

“Physics is the study of the movement of, uh, bodies in space,” Holtz began.

Erin found herself zoning out for a second thinking about _the movement of bodies_ but then her eyes snapped back up to Holtz’ face.

“And it can unlock the mysteries of the universe but it cannot answer the essential question of what is our purpose here.” Holtz’ voice was starting to become stilted, jerky. Erin recognized the tone. It was the same one that she’d had when she was confessing her feelings in the alley. Holtz sucked in some air and continued, staring down at the table in front of her. “And to me, the purpose of life is to love.” Her voice was shaking now. Erin felt her heart wobbling at the sound. “And to love is what you have shown me.” Holtz looked up then, straight at Erin. Erin felt her heart stop. She shot a quick glance over at Abby, and then back to Holtz, who was still talking, faster and faster. “I didn’t think that I would ever really have a friend until I met Abby and then I feel like I have a family of my own and Iloveyou, thank you.” She hastily clinked her glass with Patty’s and then Abby’s and finally Erin’s before she hurriedly sat down again.

“Thank you,” Abby said, sounding a little shocked. Had Abby never seen Serious Holtzmann before? Had Erin been the first one to see that side of her?

“Man, that was like a real thing right there. That was like, so real,” Patty said. She also seemed a little stunned.

Holtz made a sudden, loud throat-clearing noise that was verging on a honk. Erin jumped.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” a voice said suddenly.

Erin jumped again and looked up to see the mayor’s assistant sliding into her chair. “Oh!”

The woman put her hand on Abby’s arm. “We want to thank you for your discretion.”

Erin cocked her head.

“It’s not working at all,” she continued, “but thank you. Actually, we’d like you to continue to study this subject.”

Erin started and shot a glance at Holtz, then Abby.

“Fully funded. You know, we need to be better prepared, just in case.”

“Yeah. Yes, that’s smart,” Erin said quickly. Guess having the military and Homeland Security be outshone by four ‘sad and lonely’ women in jumpsuits was enough to bring them to their senses. Their merit was _finally_ being noticed.

“Whatever you need, going forward,” the mayor’s assistant said. “Anything at all.”

Erin considered the possibilities. Instantly, an image of Holtz dancing around an abandoned firehouse, face falling when they couldn’t afford it, popped into her head. “Anything?” she asked, just in case their generosity had a price limit.

“Anything,” the woman repeated, nodding.

Erin grinned. “I think I know what our first order of business should be.”

The mayor’s assistant smiled weakly back at her. “Excellent. I need to get going, but take this.” She slid a business card across the table at Erin. “And give me a call to discuss things further.”

She stood from the table.

“You won’t regret this!” Erin said.

“You might regret this,” Holtz said.

They watched her go. Once she was out of earshot, Abby lifted her glass. “Fully funded!”

“Fully funded!” they all cheered back.

“That’s it, I’m ordering us a round of shots,” said Patty.

“It’s the middle of the day,” Erin pointed out.

“And we stopped a ghost apocalypse the other day and _somebody_ …” Patty widened her eyes and pointed exaggeratedly at both Erin and Holtz in turn. “wasn’t around to celebrate until now. _And_ we just basically became government employees. _That_ calls for some motherfuckin’ shots.” She pushed her chair back and went over to the bar.

Abby elbowed Erin. “So whaddya thinking about for that money?”

Erin smiled. “You’ll see.”

“It better be a new motorcycle to replace mine,” Holtz said, “because I’m still pretty crushed about _that_ casualty.”

Erin stared at her. “You have a motorcycle?”

“Well not anymooore.” Holtz settled back into her chair with a wicked smile. “Impressed?”

Erin pictured Holtz on a motorcycle. She swallowed. “Hmm…I wonder if…I bet we could write that off as a business expense.”

Holtz raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, propping her chin on both her hands. “Oh yeah?”

Erin nodded really fast, like a bobble-head. “Yes. Yeah. Definitely. We should…yep.”

“When I get my new motorcycle, do you want to take it for a spin with me?” Holtz grinned.

“Yes,” Erin said instantly.

“You know, I’m somehow not surprised by that,” Abby said. Erin jumped. She had forgotten they weren’t alone at the table.

“Erin Gilbert has a deviant side,” Holtz said. She dropped one arm and pointed her finger at Abby. “Did you hear that she stole a car?”

“Really?” Abby looked impressed.

Erin rolled her shoulders back. “Yeah. It’s true.”

“Aw, Erin!” Abby patted her head lovingly.

“Isn’t she adorable?” Holtz said.

“Hey. Not adorable. Badass. Remember?”

“Of _course_ ,” said Holtz with a wink.

Patty returned to the table with a tray of four shot glasses and set it down. “Do you guys think we’re gonna get health benefits working for the government? Because I’d be down for some health coverage. I have a feeling we’re going to need it. This job is _mad_ dangerous. Between the ghosts and _this_ one…” She looked pointedly at Holtzmann. “I don’t think I’m going to survive this friendship.”

“Oh, we’re just gettin’ started.” Holtz smirked.

Patty shook her head. She picked up a shot glass and waited for them to do the same, then lifted hers in the air. “Here’s to friendship.”

“And family,” Abby said, smiling around the table at them.

Erin swallowed and looked straight at Holtz. “And love.”

Holtz stared back at her, smiling like the sun. “And to saving the goddamn city.”

They all clinked glasses and threw back their shots.

Later, after they split a massive plate of nachos (Holtz went at least two minutes spewing nacho puns, including puns based off the various toppings, until Erin finally crawled across the table and kissed her to shut her up—and then spent the next half hour sitting in Holtz’ lap and feeding her nachos, despite various retching noises and jabs from Abby and Patty), they dispersed for the day. Erin and Holtz ambled back to Erin’s apartment, hands swinging lazily between them. Erin felt deliriously happy and warm, whether from the remnants of alcohol slugging through her bloodstream or from the woman beside her, she wasn’t quite sure. Well, she was pretty sure.

“That was some speech earlier,” Erin said lightly. She let go of Holtz’ hand and linked their arms together instead. She grabbed Holtz’ bicep with her free arm and squeezed it gently.

Holtz smiled wryly at her. “You liked that?”

“You know I love it when you get all emotional,” Erin joked. They had reached Erin’s apartment building. She released Holtz and went to unlock the door.

“I meant every word of it, you know,” Holtz said. Erin looked back to see her standing there with her hands shoved in her pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet and staring at the ground.

Erin softened her face into a smile. “I know, Holtz. I know.” She extended her hand. “Come on.” She grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and pulled her through the open door.

The afternoon melted away and dissolved into night. It was sort of unspoken at that point, that Holtz would stay. They dressed for bed—Holtz in the science camp shirt that she had left behind earlier, which was getting more use in the past few days than it had in 20 _years_. Erin mostly kept it around for sentimental reasons.

They crawled into bed together and laid there facing one another. Erin moved forward in the bed to press her lips to Holtz’ and she felt her girlfriend stir and move closer eagerly. She reached to tangle her fingers in Erin’s hair.

Erin pulled away. “We should sleep,” she said breathlessly.

“It’s early,” Holtz said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”

Holtz connected their lips together once more. Erin couldn’t help herself, and the tiniest moan escaped from her mouth. She felt Holtz smile. Erin pulled away again.

“Seriously, Holtz.” Her heart was already hammering.

“What?” Holtz grinned innocently.

“We can’t…because you’re…” Erin bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to come up with the proper words. Why weren’t they having sex, again? Was there a reason?

Holtz shifted closer still and Erin felt her warm breath on her ear. “I’m what?”

“Injured,” Erin gasped, remembering suddenly as Holtz’ lips touched her neck. Her eyes flew open.

In one swift movement, Holtz pushed Erin’s shoulder to roll her onto her back, and moved so she was hovering over top of Erin with one leg on either side of her without breaking her lips from their position. “You sure about that?” Holtz murmured against her skin.

Erin squirmed, breathing heavily. “Injured. You’re…your rib is…”

“Fuck my rib,” Holtz purred, and Erin knew in that moment she was a goner.

Holtz drew back so their faces were a few inches apart. Erin was overwhelmed by the sheer lust burning in Holtz’ eyes, and the force of her own desire hit her hard.

“I’d rather fuck _you_ , actually,” Erin said, jutting her chin out.

A look of complete shock crossed Holtz’ face, followed a moment later by a huge grin. “Holy shit.”

Then she started laughing.

Erin pouted. “Oh, come on! Really? I thought I was being sexy.”

Holtz regained her composure. “You,” She ducked down to kiss Erin, “are _so_ sexy. It’s killing me. I just was _not_ expecting that. I thought it was going to take, like, another ten minutes at _least_ to convince you that I’m fine.” She chuckled lowly.

Erin propped herself up onto her elbows. Holtz sat back onto her heels so she was straddling Erin’s lap and smirked.

“ _Are_ you fine?” Erin asked. “Because I’d rather wait than risk hurting you.”

Holtz looked her up and down. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. I am one _hundred_ percent on board with this. As long as you still are.” Holtz raised an eyebrow at her, awaiting confirmation.

Erin breathed out. “You really have to ask?”

Holtz nodded. She tapped her temple with her index finger. “Communication is _very_ important.”

Erin bit her lip. “You’re right. Yes, Holtz, I’m 100% on board with this too. Maybe even 150%.”

“You’ve gotta stop doing that,” Holtz said, staring down at her.

“What?”

“Biting your lip like that,” Holtz clarified. “It makes me want to do…things.”

“Do them, then,” Erin challenged.

The incredulous grin returned. “God _damn_ , Erin Gilbert. You’re hot when you’re demanding, you know that? Actually, scratch that, you’re always hot.”

She moved forward and down suddenly to crush her lips to Erin’s. Erin gasped into the kiss and flopped back down onto the bed.

“Tell me if I do anything you don’t like,” Holtz said as her hands roamed slowly down Erin’s body.

Judging by how Holtz’ kiss made her feel, that seemed highly unlikely. “Likewise,” Erin breathed. “And you’ll tell me if your rib starts hurting so we can stop?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Erin ran her hands along Holtz’ sides and caught the hem of the science camp shirt. “May I?”

“It’s your shirt.” Holtz winked.

Erin gently tugged the shirt up and off and tossed it to the side. Then she took in her girlfriend’s completely bare torso in awe. She softly dragged her fingertips across the pale, smooth skin, stopping just shy of the deep purple bruises covering her ribs. “You’re so beautiful,” she murmured, unable to stop staring.

“Why, thank you,” Holtz said in a ridiculous voice.

Erin snorted. She reached up and touched Holtz’ necklace where it dangled from her neck. “Do you wear this to bed? Isn’t that a choking hazard?”

“Only if you’re lucky.” Holtz smirked.

Erin blinked.

Holtz cocked her head to the side. “Speaking of choking—”

“Um.”

“—my neck is still a liiiiittle tender from being dangled out a window by it. So maybe just…steer clear of that area for the time being?”

“Oh!” Erin dropped her fingers from the necklace. “Of course! Thank you for reminding me.”

Holtz winked again. “Communication.”

“Very important,” Erin echoed.

Holtz swallowed. Erin watched the movement of her throat. “Sooooo…” Holtz drew out the word.

“Earlier,” Erin said, “you were talking about the movement of bodies in space. Want to show me what that means?”

A slow grin spread across Holtz’ face. “Oh, Dr. Gilbert, I’m sure you know just as much about physics as I do.”

“Let’s find out, shall we?” Erin pulled Holtz towards her and kissed her breathless.

Holtz looked a little dizzy when she broke away and fumbled to remove Erin’s own top. “Yeah,” she choked out, “you definitely know a thing or two about physics.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* who let the ace write about sexytimes?
> 
> Only one chapter left to go, friends. Can you believe it? I still need to write it, and it's on the back burner right now while I do school stuff. I have to write the beginning of an original novel by tomorrow and I'm struggling so hard. How do...characters...who aren't Holtz or Erin?? ? ??? It's been three months since I've written anything original. Wow, I wonder what happened three months ago to interrupt me? ;)


	14. to the beat of the rhythm of the night (dance until the morning light)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here at last! The final chapter of this journey, which ended up nearly 8000 words long. I'm amazed that it only took me a week to write this (while simultaneously working on my Halloween costume, writing a [Holtzbert oneshot about printers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8367085), and doing a billion things for school).
> 
> I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. Buckle up for an emotional journey with this one! I hope you tear up as many times as I did. See you at the end. <3

Jillian Holtzmann was, quite simply, happier than she had ever been in her life.

It had been a little under a month since the Ghostbusters saved the city, and they were slowly settling into their new jobs as (paid) paranormal researchers and spectral exterminators. They were all really big on the ‘paid’ part.

After their initial meeting with the mayor’s assistant, Jennifer Lynch, Erin had been secretive for a while as she cooked up something that she refused to tell any of them about.

The surprise was well worth the wait when she led them to the abandoned firehouse a few days later and proudly announced that it was theirs. Later, while Holtz planned out the layout of her second floor lab (as much as Patty protested, the rules of ‘dibs’ weren’t up for debate), Erin had come up behind her and said that she had done it because she knew how sad Holtz was when they had to walk away from it the first time.

“You convinced the government to pay $21,000 a month for _me?_ ” Holtz had said.

Erin shrugged. “For all of us. It’s an ideal space. But yeah, mostly for you.”

Holtz kissed her. “You can share the second floor with me.”

Moving in was bittersweet. They were all a little sad to say goodbye to their old headquarters, but their new digs were so fantastic that they weren’t _that_ upset. Unpacking required just as much dancing as the first time around, although Holtz wasn’t aggressively peacocking to get Erin’s attention this time. Instead, she was on a mission to see how riled-up she could get Erin before her girlfriend finally broke and pulled her into the closest bathroom. The record was two-and-a-half songs.

Once they had unpacked and settled into the firehouse, the real fun began. The mayor’s office was content to throw as much money at them as they needed, and Holtz had never had such freedom. She was no longer limited to whatever materials she could scrounge up from a dumpster (although she still went twice a week, because it would always be a favourite pastime of hers). She had free reign to build anything her heart desired and her mind could dream up (which meant the possibilities were endless). The first thing she started working on was a containment unit to hold the ghosts they captured, because keeping them in individual ghost traps wasn’t exactly sustainable.

Ever since the near-apocalypse, they’d been getting daily calls about ghosts. A good portion of them were prank calls, an even larger amount were people asking if the ghosts had been real, but a select handful were calls about actual ghosts that needed busting. It turned out that there were several stragglers who escaped being sucked into the portal before it closed, but they were no match for the four of them.

In addition to the containment unit, she was also working on a variety of side projects that were out there even for _her_. The resources available to her were limitless and so was her imagination. There was nothing stopping her but the laws of physics (and in her opinion, laws existed to be broken).

She was officially working at her dream job, and she loved every second of it.

Her mentor from her grad school days, Dr. Gorin, called her up one day and said that she’d seen Holtz on the news. She was coming into town for a conference and wanted to stop by and see the work Holtz was doing (‘see’ was code for ‘rigorously inspect’). Holtz of course said yes. It had been too long since she’d last seen Dr. Gorin, and the woman was like family to her. She’d taken Holtz under her wing at a low point in Holtz’ life. It had been the year that she’d finally worked up the courage to come out to her family, and it hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped. Dr. Gorin found her in the lab the next day, sleep-deprived and handling extremely dangerous materials in a way that was reckless even for her. When Dr. Gorin had yelled at her for endangering everyone on the block, Holtz had burst into tears. She sobbed for an hour straight while Dr. Gorin calmly listened to her, not prodding.

When Holtz finally got out that her parents had disowned her for being gay, Dr. Gorin pursed her lips, nodded once, and said, “Never change for anyone, Jillian. And if anyone makes you feel like you should…well, sometimes all you can do is say ‘screw you’ and move on.”

Holtz carried the words close to her heart—quite literally. She’d gotten the idea for her Screw-U pendant so she would never forget Dr. Gorin’s advice. She made them matching ones. Dr. Gorin wore hers pinned to the lapel of her lab coat.

Ever since then, she’d become a bit of a stand-in mother figure to Holtz. Before the Ghostbusters, she was as much of a family as Holtz had.

Dr. Gorin had arrived that morning at the crack of dawn—Holtz had picked up her early-bird tendencies from her—and set right to work checking over every single thing in the second-floor lab without any pleasantries. Holtz loved that about her.

If she was impressed by anything in the room, she didn’t say so, but she scurried around throwing out suggestions for improvement. Holtz trailed after her excitedly, taking in every single word in awe at how brilliant her mentor was.

“I have to go to my conference now,” Dr. Gorin said abruptly after 45 minutes. “May I come back later today?”

“Yeah! I’ll make some of those adjustments while you’re gone.” Holtz was already grabbing her blowtorch.

With that, Dr. Gorin took off. Erin showed up to work half an hour later, looking adorable in a red plaid shirt. She’d taken Holtz’ tongue-in-cheek suggestion and added several flannel shirts to her wardrobe in the past month. When she got upstairs she immediately bee-lined over to Holtz for her good-morning kiss, which Holtz was eager to give her. Even though they spent almost every night either at Erin’s apartment or Holtz’, they rarely shared their mornings. Holtz was usually at work at least an hour before Erin, and she tried not to disturb her girlfriend too much when she woke up at the early hour and, if they were at Erin’s apartment, got dressed from the little stash of clothes she kept there. Erin had some at Holtz’ place too.

Holtz moved her goggles to the top of her head and pulled Erin in by the waist to kiss her. “You look cute.”

Erin blushed. “Thank you.”

Holtz released her and skittered away, pulling her goggles back down.

“Oh. Are you…going back to work already?” Erin sounded a little hurt. Normally Holtz managed to waste away at least five minutes saying good morning to Erin. With her lips.

Holtz made an incoherent noise in response and busied herself by pretending to adjust something on the computer monitor in front of her.

There were a few seconds of silence.

“Is everything okay?” Erin said.

Holtz spun around with a near-manic grin plastered on her face. “Everything’s great! Excellent! Perfect!”

Erin frowned. “O…kay. I’ll just…head downstairs to work, then.”

Holtz shot finger guns at her and turned back to the computer. A few more seconds passed, then she heard the sound of Erin’s footsteps retreating down the stairs.

Holtz instantly felt guilty, but she needed to get Erin out of the lab. She had something _very_ important to work on that Erin couldn’t see just yet. And she knew the longer she spent around Erin, the more likely she was to blurt something out about it. She was really bad at secrets and surprises.

Yes, Erin had to stay away from the lab today.

Unfortunately, Erin didn’t seem to get the memo. It was less than half an hour later when she showed up again. She heard Erin’s footsteps on the stairs and fumbled to get her blueprints hidden away before Erin would see them. She leaned against her worktable and tried to look nonchalant as her girlfriend came into view.

Erin squinted at her. “What are you doing?”

“Working,” Holtz said immediately.

“You look like you’re doing the opposite of that, actually.”

Holtz made a big show of picking up a screwdriver.

Erin sighed. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m always acting weird.”

“That’s…a good point. Seriously though, are you okay? Did I…do something?”

Holtz set down the screwdriver and came to kiss Erin’s cheek. “You didn’t do anything. I’m just a little jittery today because I couldn’t sleep last night.”

That was the truth. She’d been too excited about what was happening the next day. A visit from Dr. Gorin _and_ her big surprise for Erin? How could she possibly sleep?

“Okay, but why are you avoiding me?”

“ _Avoiding_ implies something completely different than what I’m doing. I’m just working. And I’m working on something pretty dangerous, so my attention is a little absorbed.”

“Oh. You could’ve just said so.”

“Sorry.” Holtz backed away. “Maybe you should go back downstairs. It’s _really_ dangerous.”

Erin looked like she was going to protest but then changed her mind. “Sure, Holtz. I’ll see you at lunch, I guess?”

“See ya then.” Holtz blew a kiss in her direction.

Erin left.

Shortly after, Holtz heard footsteps again. She scrambled to shove the blueprints away but not in time.

“Hey, Erin says you’re acting weird.” It was Patty.

“Weird? Me?” Holtz tried to discreetly hide the blueprints.

Patty noticed anyway. “What are you hiding?”

“Nothing.” Holtz swept them behind her back and Patty strode closer.

She reached around and plucked them from Holtz’ grasp. “Please tell me you aren’t building a death machine.”

“Everything in this building is a death machine,” Holtz muttered as she tried to grab the plans back.

Patty held them up out of her reach and started to read out loud. “Grand plan to mmphhh—”

Holtz had thrown her hand over Patty’s mouth. “Shhhhhh,” she hissed. “Silent reading.” She removed her hand.

Patty finished reading the title and looked down at Holtz. “Aww, Holtzy! This is so cute. Erin’s gonna—”

“SHHHH.”

Patty chuckled and handed the plans back to Holtz. “Do what you gotta do, baby. I’ll stay out of your hair. Holler at me if you need any help.” With that she continued up to the third floor, where she had already set up an impressive library for research. She spent most of her days up there. Holtz wasn’t allowed up there unsupervised. Or even supervised.

For the next few hours, Holtz managed to work in peace. She made sure to bang around making noise so it would sound like she was actually working on something dangerous and not just scribbling plans down. She worked through lunch (Patty brought her a sandwich on her way back through to the third floor) and around 3:00 she was satisfied with her progress and decided she owed Erin a visit, so she hid the plans away where nobody would see them even if they happened to come upstairs.

She zipped down the fire pole, her second favourite thing to do in the universe (the first was Erin) and skipped over to where Erin and Abby were seated in two armchairs with their heads bent together over Abby’s laptop. They had started revising their book for republication. Now that the existence of ghosts had been confirmed, there was a lot that needed to be updated.

“What’s crack-a-lackin, ghost gals?”

“She emerges!” Abby said.

Holtz pressed a kiss to the top of Erin’s head. “How goes the book?”

“It’s good! How’s the really dangerous thing you’re working on?”

“Dangerous. I’m gonna take a break to work down here for a bit.”

“Is it safe to leave it alone?” Erin asked, brow furrowed.

Holtz shrugged. “We’ll find out.”

She went over to check the read-out on the containment unit and then set to work on the prototype ghost teleportation device she was building. She was still trying to refine the GPS coordinate system. She worked there for a while, listening to Erin and Abby’s banter.

Erin stood up after a few hours. “I’ll head up to the library and try to find that article we wanted to reference.”

“I’m going to order dinner while you do that,” Abby replied. “Chinese good?”

“Does it matter how I answer?” Erin said, bumping her hip against Abby’s. She climbed the stairs as Abby took out her phone.

After Abby had ordered, she came over to where Holtz was working. “Erin says you’re acting strange.”

“Whaaat? Me?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Everything okay? You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Even Erin trouble?”

“Erin trouble? There’s no Erin trouble. Does Erin think there’s Erin trouble?”

“She thinks you’re mad at her.”

“Crap. I’m not mad at her. In fact…” she leaned over and whispered her plan in Abby’s ear.

Abby leaned back, an excited grin appearing on her face. “No way! Well, you’d better do that fast, then, because your girlfriend’s getting anxious.”

Holtz saluted her. “Will do.”

The door opened suddenly, and Dr. Gorin stepped inside the firehouse.

“Is that the food already? I didn’t know Benny could move that fast,” Abby said, turning around. “Oh! Uhh…”

“Hello!” Kevin said. “Welcome to the Ghostbusters!”

Dr. Gorin ignored him and hung up her coat on the coat rack.

Abby turned to Holtz with a confused expression.

‘Dr. Gorin,’ Holtz mouthed.

Abby’s face lit up. She had heard lots about Dr. Gorin but had never met her.

Dr. Gorin strode towards them and nodded at Holtz. “Jillian.” She didn’t acknowledge Abby. “Is this the containment unit you were telling me about? Mind if I take a look?”

“It’s all yours.” Holtz gestured her assent.

Dr. Gorin disappeared into the containment unit before Holtz could warn her that she should probably put on a radiation suit. Eh, well, she’d been through worse.

Erin reappeared from upstairs with a cardboard box. “So, I found the box that has my old papers. It might take some digging to find the one we’re looking for.”

She lugged it across the room and set it on top of a cart. At that moment, the door opened again and Benny walked in with a bag of Chinese food.

Abby stared. “Wow, I guess Benny _can_ move that fast.” She went to pay him and Holtz turned back to her work.

The teleportation trap was basically done. She couldn’t wait to test it on the next ghost they encountered. She really, _really_ couldn’t wait.

She turned around and grabbed the control panel off the metal shelf behind her as the phone started ringing. Kevin answered it immediately. He finally seemed to be getting a hang of the receptionist thing. He said it was all due to the lab coat they let him wear now. It made him feel official. Holtz smiled and fiddled with a knob on the control panel. Kevin was frustrating, but she loved him anyway.

“How’s it going over here?” Erin said suddenly from behind her. Startled, Holtz whirled around to see Abby and Erin walking towards her.

“Um. Good. Really good. I’m working on some kinda next-level stuff.” She chuckled. “Case in point…” She pressed a button on the control panel and the teleporter trap clanked shut. Erin and Abby jumped, but looked impressed.

“What is this for?” Erin asked.

“It catches ghosts…and it transports them somewhere else. I don’t know where, but I have a feeling it’s Michigan. Sorry, Lansing.”

That was a lie. She knew exactly where they were being sent, and it wasn’t Lansing. It was Battle Creek, the city that Erin’s parents resided in. They hadn’t so much as phoned Erin since she was fired from Columbia. Holtz knew because she found Erin bawling her eyes out over it one night. They were assholes, and if they were going to continue to pretend that their daughter was crazy and that ghosts didn’t exist, well, then they had a special surprise coming their way the next time the Ghostbusters were called on a bust.

She could see Erin’s expression flicker, and she wondered if Erin had pieced the two together or if she bought that Holtz didn’t have control over where the ghosts were sent.

“How’s this containment unit coming?” Abby asked, going over to inspect the computer screen. “You got that up and running?”

“Oh that? Oh that’s going real smooth. Uh, I just would say don’t be in a room with it for more than an hour at a time, because I’m thinking a lot of hair loss.” Holtz could already feel hers falling out. She’d been wearing a lot of bandanas lately to try and keep it in.

“Oh. Well that might be something we want to work on…” the last word petered out as Erin looked behind Holtz. “Oh! Uh…hi…hello.”

Holtz looked behind her to see that Dr. Gorin had re-emerged. She’d almost forgotten that she was in there.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was in here,” Erin said. Holtz tossed her control panel down onto the table.

“What a ding-a-ling, I forgot to introduce…this is my mentor, Dr. Rebecca Gorin.”

Abby’s eyes shone with admiration as she extended her hand. “Wow. Dr. Gorin, it’s a pleasure to finally meet—”

Holtz shook her head at her. “She doesn’t shake,” she whispered.

Abby dropped her hand. “Okay.”

Holtz felt a little giddy at her world’s colliding. She was so glad that Abby was finally able to meet Dr. Gorin. And Erin. Since Dr. Gorin was as close to a mother as Holtz had, this was basically Erin meeting her parents.

Dr. Gorin turned to her. “This is reckless, Jillian. You are breeding fissile plutonium with insufficient criticality moderation. All someone has to do is sneeze too hard, and everyone in this building is going to disintegrate.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

“I know.”

“Do you know how powerful this is?” Dr. Gorin pointed a thumb behind her at the containment unit.

“I did bad.” Holtz shrugged, feeling a little dejected. She was all for Dr. Gorin offering improvements, but as soon as she started calling out Holtz’ reckless behavior, she found herself transported back to the lowest point in her life.

Dr. Gorin pulled off her glasses and inhaled. “And I have never been more proud of you.” She reached out to squeeze Holtz’ shoulder.

“Really?”

Dr. Gorin nodded and extended her other arm, inviting Holtz to hug her. Holtz launched herself at her mentor, gripping her tightly and clapping her on the back.

“I frickin’ love you, and you know that right?” She felt like she was going to cry.

“My sternum.”

“Ooh, don’t break your mentor,” Abby said.

“Jillian.”

Holtz clapped her on the back again.

“My sternum.” She sounded like she couldn’t breath.

Holtz clapped her back one last time before releasing her and taking a step back, grinning stupidly.

“Now,” Dr. Gorin said, “let’s make this more powerful, shall we?”

“Oh let’s ramp it the hell up.” Holtz gestured with her thumb. God, she loved Dr. Gorin. So much.

“Do we need this safety light?” Dr. Gorin pointed.

“Safety lights are for dudes.”

“Safety lights are for dudes,” Dr. Gorin repeated, nodding.

“I only put that on there for a party,” Holtz added.

“We shouldn’t have parties in here,” Erin said.

“It’s never going to be safe. Why should we kid anyone,” Dr. Gorin said.

“But we should be safe.” Erin chuckled nervously. “Safety first.”

Dr. Gorin looked at Holtz. “These are your colleagues?”

“Yes, yes.” Holtz pointed at Erin. “And we’re dating.”

Abby nodded and said yes, but Holtz barely registered it, because at the same time, Erin let out a resounding “No!”

Holtz blinked. What?

“I’m dating the receptionist,” Erin said. Holtz felt her stomach drop out.

“What?” Abby looked sharply at her. “No. No, that’s not accurate.”

Erin pointed half-heartedly behind her and her face fell.

Holtz felt numb. Was Erin _joking?_

She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know what to feel. So she did what she always did in times like this. She deflected.

“Whoops!” she said, inhaling roughly. Tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes. She’d never felt so humiliated. Maybe if she covered this up by making it seem like she had been joking. She didn’t want Dr. Gorin to know that she was dating a woman who would blatantly deny their relationship. “Okaaaay…back to the drawing board on _that_ one.” Her facial expressions felt convoluted and probably over-done. No part of this performance was convincing, she knew that, but at that point, she would settle for not crying. “Ummmm…” she pressed her lips together and forced out a laugh. How was she going to get out of this situation? Should she crack a joke? Should she hide under the table? Should she run?

Patty’s voice interrupted her mounting panic attack. “Hey, y’all need to come check this out! Come up to the roof!”

They all turned to look at where she was standing on the stairs. She started running back up them.

Without saying anything, Erin took off after her. Abby watched her go and then looked at Holtz. “Holtz…”

“It’s fine,” Holtz chirped. She pulled off her magnifying headgear and set it on the table. “Dr. Gorin, I’ll be back. Make yourself at home.”

She refused to meet Dr. Gorin’s eyes, but she still caught the expression of pity on her mentor’s face. She shrank away from it and followed Abby up the stairs.

When they got to the roof, it was easy to see why Patty had called them up there. Spelt out in lights on the buildings in front of them were messages of support and love for the Ghostbusters.

“Is that for us?” Erin asked.

“I guess some people actually _do_ know what we did,” Patty replied.

Holtz tried to force a smile onto her face.

“Well that’s not terrible,” Abby said.

“No, it’s not. It’s not terrible at all,” Erin replied.

Holtz looked at Abby and slung her arm around her best friend’s shoulder. Abby caught her hand and squeezed it. Erin and Patty moved closer, and the four of them stood there in silence, looking out at the city. They stayed there for a few minutes.

“Hey Patty,” Abby said abruptly. “I have something to show you downstairs.”

“Can it wait? I’m enjoying the view.”

“No, I need you to come right now,” Abby said firmly.

She tugged Patty away, and then it was just Holtz and Erin on the roof. Holtz turned to walk away too but Erin caught her arm.

“Holtz, can I explain?”

Holtz turned to face her with a hardened expression on her face. “Nothing you can say will make what just happened okay.”

Erin huffed. “Can you let me try?”

Holtz tugged her arm out of Erin’s grasp. “No. You completely humiliated me in front of someone I admire. You flat out denied that we’re dating. And worst of all, you tried to lie and say you’re dating Kevin. _Kevin_. What the _fuck_ , Erin?”

“You told a complete stranger that we’re dating without my permission!”

“Dr. Gorin is not,” Holtz said angrily, “a stranger. She means more to me than you can imagine.”

“Yeah, I bet she does,” Erin snapped.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re obviously pretty _close_ ,” Erin said, putting heavy emphasis on the word.

“Is that a problem?”

“She has a pendant to match yours,” Erin said instead of answering the question.

“Yes…” Holtz drew out the word. “And?”

“She calls you Jillian,” Erin said. “You said nobody calls you that.”

Holtz crossed her arms over her chest. “She’s the only one who calls me that.”

Erin stared at her with an unreadable expression. “So she’s special. I see how it is.”

“How _what_ is? Of course she’s fucking special. She’s the most important person in my life aside from you guys.”

Erin crossed her own arms. “Did you ever have a thing with her? Tell me the truth.”

Holtz’ mouth fell open. “What the fuck?”

“Answer the question.”

Holtz let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Are you _serious?_ Did I ever have a thing with Dr. Gorin? Did you actually just ask that?”

“You’re not denying it,” Erin said accusingly.

“She’s 30 years older than me! And she’s like family—no, screw that, she _is_ family. She’s the closest thing I have to a mother, and you’re sitting here throwing a jealous tantrum because you think I had a _thing_ with her?”

Erin faltered. “Well, I don’t know. If she’s really that important, then why haven’t you ever mentioned her to me, huh? Of course that looks suspicious. What was I supposed to think?”

“I don’t know, but maybe you shouldn’t feel so fucking threatened by other women? I mean, Jesus, Erin, even if—God, even if she _was_ an ex—” Holtz shuddered. “You have no reason to be jealous. I _love_ you, Erin.” Holtz’ voice broke on her name and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.

She turned back to the city so Erin wouldn’t see her cry. She swallowed the lump in her throat and kicked the toe of her combat boot against the ledge. “I was—fuck, Erin, I was going to ask you to move in with me today.” She kicked the cement again, harder this time. “But now it’s pretty clear to me that I’m a hell of a lot more invested in this relationship than you are. If there even _is_ a relationship, because I guess I’m the only one who’s willing to call it that.”

There was a pause.

“You were going to ask me to move in with you?” Erin asked quietly.

Holtz didn’t look at her. “I’ve been working on elaborate plans all day. That’s why you couldn’t stay in the lab.” She let out a single laugh: hollow, cold. “Thank God I didn’t get a chance to ask, right?”

“Holtz,” Erin breathed.

Holtz ignored her.

“Look at me, Holtz.”

Her gaze snapped to Erin, who looked hurt and ashamed. “Go away, Erin. I need to think about this and figure out how much I’m willing to fight for a relationship that doesn’t even mean anything to you.”

She expected—wanted—Erin to protest, but instead her face crumpled and she nodded, backing away. She all but ran down the stairs, and Holtz was left on the rooftop alone.

Holtz turned back to the skyline and smashed her boot into the ledge once more. She was crying. She hated that Erin had seen her cry. She hated this—emotions. This was why she hid from them as much as possible. She hated the way that she felt out of control when she was angry and upset.

There was a sound behind her, and she spun around, hoping that Erin had returned. Instead, it was Dr. Gorin, who looked uncomfortable as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. Holtz hastily wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. She didn’t want Erin to see her tears, but she _really_ didn’t want Dr. Gorin to see her tears.

“Jillian…”

Holtz shook her head. She didn’t want to have this conversation.

Dr. Gorin sighed and came to stand beside Holtz at the ledge. “Do you care to explain what on earth happened in there?”

Holtz swallowed thickly and stared out at the lights of the city. “Erin’s my girlfriend. She’s very officially my girlfriend—I haven’t misinterpreted the situation like I used to do all the time, because she explicitly asked me to be her girlfriend. But she denied it downstairs. She denied that we’re dating.”

Dr. Gorin sighed again. She was silent for a little while. Then eventually she said, “Do you remember what I told you?”

Holtz’ fingers went to her necklace on reflex. “I can’t. I can’t say ‘screw you’ and move on. Not this time.”

“Why not?”

“I love her, Dr. Gorin. I love her like I’ve never loved anyone, and that terrifies me. I think I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with her, and she…she denied that we’re dating. I don’t think I’m ever going to love anyone else as much as I love her. I don’t think I can. She’s my person, but I think…I think I might not be hers.” Holtz’ voice broke again and the tears came flooding back. The city lights blurred until she could no longer read the messages of love.

“Jillian.”

Holtz tried to get control over her breathing.

“Jillian, you might be right. This relationship might not be meant to last forever, but it’s still possible that it is.”

“How could it be, though? When she can’t even admit that we’re a couple?”

“Did you ask her why she lied?”

“I wouldn’t let her explain. There’s nothing she can say that can excuse this.”

“Well, of _course_ there is nothing that can excuse her behavior, but there might be something to explain it. There’s a difference, Jillian. You need to let her explain herself before you write off the entire relationship. You wouldn’t give up on a prototype because you got a different result than you were hoping for without first attempting to understand what went wrong and how you can fix it, would you?”

“No…”

“This is no different.”

“People aren’t machines, Dr. Gorin. If I understood people like I understood nuclear engineering, I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Dr. Gorin shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Get a grip, Jillian. Even your inventions fall apart sometimes. Nobody can understand _anything_ perfectly, but what’s important is the drive to keep learning and improving. Your understanding of people is subpar, you say? Then fix it. Work hard. You’re a very intelligent girl, Jillian; you can figure it out.”

With that, Dr. Gorin clapped her on the back and took off.

Holtz rested her elbows on the ledge in front of her and dropped her head onto her hands. She mulled over Dr. Gorin’s words.

She heard the sound of the door opening again. This time she didn’t turn to see if it was Erin. She heard footsteps cross the roof and then there was a hand on her back and the sound of something being set on the ledge.

“Hey, Holtz.” It was Abby.

Holtz straightened up and let herself be pulled into a tight embrace. She was still crying, and she let the moisture seep into Abby’s cardigan. Abby held her for a while before releasing her and looking her over.

“You’re a mess.”

“Yeah, well.”

Abby sighed. “What happened down there was—”

“Abby, no.” Holtz held up her hand. “Stop. I don’t want you to get in the middle of this. That’s not fair to you to be put between two of your best friends and pick a side.”

“There’s no _sides_ , Holtz. Erin fucked up. She fucked up _bad_. I know that. She knows that.”

“Does she?” Holtz replied bitterly.

“She’s wandering around down there like a kicked puppy, but yeah. This is all on her. She fucked up, and now she needs to fix this.”

“I don’t think she loves me like I thought she did.” Holtz stared at the ground.

“Bullshit. I’ve never seen her happier than she’s been since you got together. When you’re not around, all she does is talk about you. It’s annoying as hell, but I put up with it because you guys are my best friends and I’m happy for you. Erin is 100% in love with you.”

“She doesn’t love me as much as I love her.”

“How do you know that? Have you developed telepathy?”

“Abby. She denied that we were dating. She said she was dating _Kevin_.”

Abby winced. “I was there, I remember. She fucked up, I told you. She’s Erin. She does that. But she usually has pretty big reasons for fucking up like that. She’s got a lot of issues, and sometimes those issues come out in weird places. You gotta let her explain, though. Then you can have your pity party and break up if you’re gonna break up. But Holtz…I’m pretty sure you guys are, like, the best couple I’ve ever seen. And I’d hate to see you throw that away. Don’t blow this out of proportion just because you’re scared.”

With that truth bomb, Abby vacated the roof. Holtz noticed that the thing she had left on the ledge was a container of chow mein and a pair of chopsticks. Holtz cracked the chopsticks open and began eating, ravenous. Crying took a lot out of her.

She was chewing in silence when she heard the door again. She looked back to see Patty walking towards her carrying Holtz’ leather jacket.

“Hey, Holtzy. I’m not here to talk your ear off, unless you want to talk about it. I’m just here to make sure you don’t get pneumonia.”

Holtz took the jacket from her. “Thanks, Patty.”

She set her chopsticks down on the edge of the container and put the jacket on. She _was_ cold. She hadn’t noticed before.

“It really is pretty, isn’t it?” Patty said, looking out at the city. “It’s nice to feel loved.”

Holtz wrapped her jacket closer around her torso and picked up her food again. “Yeah, it really is.”

Patty rubbed her back. “Hang in there, baby. And try not to stay up here all night. You won’t be able to build cool shit anymore if your fingers freeze and fall off.”

Holtz gave her a weak smile. “I’m sure I could manage.”

Patty chuckled and left.

Holtz ate the rest of her food and set the container on the ground so the Styrofoam wouldn’t get blown off the roof with a gust of wind.

She knew at some point she’d have to return downstairs, but she wanted to prolong that moment for as long as possible. She wasn’t sure how she could face Erin.

Suddenly from behind her, there was a click and then music. And not just any music.

The opening notes to Rhythm of the Night flooded softly across the roof.

Holtz spun around. There, in the open doorway cradling Holtz’ boom box like a child, was Erin. Holtz watched her set the boom box on the ground and take a deep breath.

Then she started dancing.

It was ridiculous in that Erin way, all weird shimmies and the wiggling of her fingers that Holtz found so endearing. The corners of Holtz’ mouth twitched before she remembered how upset she was.

Erin danced her way through the opening verse, moving closer and closer to Holtz, and then abruptly stopped a few feet away. She wrung her hands, looking solemn. “I don’t know if you remember—”

“I remember.” Holtz crossed her arms. Rhythm of the Night was the first song she danced for Erin to. How could she forget?

“Right, well…” Erin took a step closer. The song played on quietly. “That was the moment I realized I was falling for you. For me, it feels like the moment our relationship began.”

“Oh so we _do_ have a relationship. Good to know.”

Erin bit her lip. “I know you don’t want me to, but I’m going to try to explain myself.”

Holtz remembered Dr. Gorin’s words and gave a curt nod for Erin to continue.

“All my life I’ve been obsessed with what people think of me. I’m working on it, I really am, but old habits die hard, especially habits as ingrained as this one. When I was a kid, everybody knew me as Ghost Girl. Everyone thought I was crazy, including my parents, and that…it destroyed me. I tried to be better. I tried to make people like me. I tried to be the perfect daughter so I wouldn’t be such a disappointment. I boxed away the parts of myself that people might not like and I forced myself to be someone else. God, I did it for _years_ as I climbed the academic ladder at Columbia. The Erin I am now may seem like she cares so much less about what people think of her than the Erin I was when you first met me, and it’s true, but I still care. A lot more than I wish I did.”

“So…you’re embarrassed by me and don’t want people to know that you’re dating me? Is that where you’re going with this? Because that’s not making this any better.”

Erin inhaled sharply. “No. That’s not it at all. I could never be embarrassed by you, Holtz. You’re so unapologetically yourself, and that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

Holtz’ heart stuttered.

Erin continued, “You’re one of the reasons _why_ I care a whole lot less about what people think of me now. You’ve coaxed me out of the shell that I was hiding in. You’ve shown me how to be more open and confident. You’ve taught me that it’s okay to be my weird self. And that’s…that means everything to me. I have a long way to go, like a _long_ way, but I’ve already come so far from the uptight woman in tweed who I was when I met you.”

“I still don’t understand why you pretended we weren’t dating. If you aren’t embarrassed by me, then why do you care what people think of our relationship?”

Erin looked at the ground. “I’ve known since I was a little girl that I wasn’t crazy. I’ve also known for a long time that I’m…bisexual. But like I learned to shut up about ghosts, I hid my attraction to women. I didn’t want people to think I was making up yet another thing for attention. I didn’t want to disappoint my parents any more than I already had. And that’s…still true. You guys are the only ones who know…that about me. And I don’t know that I’m ready for people to know. I’m still scared about what people might think of me.”

The realization hit Holtz hard. Erin wasn’t out. And Holtz had outed her to a virtual stranger.

Fuck.

“And when you told this woman who I don’t know that we’re dating, I panicked. If I had known who she was and how important she was to you, I wouldn’t have reacted that way, but to me she was still a stranger, and I was already feeling anxious about her being there, so when you said that we were a couple I…” Erin was still staring at the ground. “I wasn’t thinking. At all. It was an instinctual reaction. I’m…ashamed, and horrified, that my first instinct to you saying we’re dating was to deny it. I didn’t mean to deny it. I don’t _want_ to deny it. But I’m scared. Of people…knowing. And I’m sorry. God, Holtz, I’m so sorry. You deserve to be with someone who is _proud_ of your relationship. Not someone who is terrified at the thought of people knowing about it. You deserve better than me. I’m sorry.”

The roof fell silent: the song having faded out ages ago. Erin started backing away, like she thought maybe that was the end of the conversation.

Holtz launched herself at her girlfriend, throwing her arms around Erin’s neck and gripping her tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she said into Erin’s neck.

“ _You’re_ sorry? Holtz, what are you apologizing for?”

“I told somebody about our relationship without asking your permission.”

“You didn’t know that—”

“I outed you. That’s not okay. I _should’ve_ known. I should’ve been thinking. We should’ve had a conversation a long time ago about what you’re comfortable with. I’ve been out for so long that I forget that not everyone is.” Holtz stepped back to hold Erin an arm’s length away. “Listen to me. We can keep this relationship under wraps for as long as you need, and there’s no expiration date on that. If you’re never ready, that’s okay. But do not _even for a second_ think that you’re not enough for me because you’re not out. I’m willing to never even _look_ at you in public again if that’s what you need and it means that we can be together.”

Erin’s face was unreadable.

Holtz’ heart dropped and she backpedalled quickly. “I mean. If you…if you _want_ to be together.”

Erin’s jaw fell open. “If I _want_ to be together? Holtz…Holtz, you’re…I love you. _So_ much.”

“Are you sure?”

Erin reached up and took Holtz’ face in her hands. “Jillian Holtzmann,” she breathed. “Yes, I’m sure. It took me approximately two seconds into kissing you for the first time to realize that you were the only person I ever needed to kiss again. I’ve never told you that before because I didn’t want to scare you by saying too much too soon—I probably wouldn’t have told you that I loved you yet if you hadn’t said it first—but I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll let me, and—” She broke off and something crossed over her face, and then before Holtz could register what was happening, Erin had let go of her face and slid down so she was on one knee in front of Holtz.

“Erin, what are you doing?” Holtz hoped that Erin couldn’t hear the panic in her voice. Her heart was beating so fast that she was concerned she might be having a heart attack.

Erin took both of her hands and stared up at her. “I’m not asking that question. But I’d like to ask it one day if you’ll stick around with me for that long. I am 100% in this, and I’m in it for the long run. And I’m so incredibly sorry that I made you doubt that I was. So, Jillian Holtzmann, the love of my life…will you forgive me?”

“Yes, God yes. There’s nothing to forgive.”

Erin looked relieved. “Well, I guess my cards are all on the table now for nothing.” She laughed nervously. “Umm…”

Holtz hoisted her to her feet and cut her off from saying anything further by crashing their lips together. Erin pressed into her immediately, her hands releasing Holtz’ and moving to her back. Holtz’ hands cupped Erin’s cheeks as she kissed her, and kissed her some more, hungrily and desperately like she was making up for lost time—because an hour without kissing Erin Gilbert may as well have been an eternity.

She kissed her until she saw stars in her vision and her heart was hammering out a goddamn 80s pop song. She pulled away, but not far, just far enough to catch her breath. She opened her eyes slowly, and everything was Erin.

“Cards on the table,” Holtz gasped out, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.”

A smile spread across Erin’s face. “Really?”

“Yes. By the way, do you want to move in with me?”

Erin blushed. “Yes. I’d love to. You sure your babies won’t mind?”

“They love you just as much as I do.”

“Aww.” There was still moisture on Holtz’ face from crying earlier, and Erin thumbed it away. “I guess I should probably try to get to know Dr. Gorin better, too, if she’s also your family. I think we got off onto the wrong foot.”

“She’ll love you too once she gets to know you. She might never show it, but she will.” Holtz paused. “Hey, you want to hear the story behind our matching pendants?” Erin nodded. “I’d just come out to my parents to a less-than-favourable reaction and I was a complete wreck, and she said to me: ‘Never change for anyone. If anyone makes you feel like you should, sometimes all you can do is say ‘screw you’ and move on.’ It’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten, and now I wear a reminder of it around my neck.”

“Wow, that’s…really great advice, actually. I’m glad you had her. It sounds like I could learn a thing or two from her as well.”

Holtz brushed a strand of hair out of Erin’s face. “It’s great advice to live by. I could make you a pendant too, if you’d like. To remind you to say ‘screw you’ to all the people who you’re worried about impressing. Hey! I could make it out of the single screw you stole from that hardware store!” She grinned.

Erin grinned back. “I’d love that.” Then determination crossed over her face. “I think…I’m going to start listening to Dr. Gorin’s advice. If we’re going to be together forever, I need to start getting used to people knowing.”

“No, Erin, you don’t need to—”

Erin cut her off with a soft press of her lips to Holtz’. “I think I’m ready. When I’m with you, I feel less afraid. I feel like I can be myself with you at my side. I know you’re here, and you aren’t going to let anything bad happen. You make me feel like I can take on whatever people have to say about me.”

“If anybody has anything bad to say about you or this relationship, I’ll blast them with a proton stream.”

“I know.”

“Are you sure about this? Please tell me you aren’t doing this for me. I don’t want you to feel pressured into coming out just so we can be public with our relationship. Your mental health and happiness are the most important.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I think I need to do this for myself. It’s about time that I start living as my completely authentic self, don’t you think?” Erin grabbed Holtz hand and tugged her over to the ledge.

“What are you doing?”

“Coming out as Erin Gilbert,” Erin replied. She squeezed Holtz’ hand and turned to face the city. “ATTENTION NEW YORK,” she shouted, making Holtz jump, “MY NAME IS ERIN GILBERT, DOCTOR OF PARTICLE PHYSICS AND GHOSTBUSTER, AND THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, JILLIAN HOLTZMANN.”

She turned to Holtz and smiled before opening her mouth again to add, “AND WE’RE DATING.”

Holtz barely let her finish the last word before her mouth was on Erin’s again, pulling her body closer until there was no distance between them at all.

The night air stung at Holtz’ cheeks but it didn’t bother her—it reminded her that she was alive and holding the most beautiful woman in the world in her arms, and she would stay there all night if it meant she never had to let Erin go.

The sounds of the city played on around them, and in the distance, the skyline was lit up with constellations spelling their name.

Yes, Jillian Holtzmann was, without a doubt, happier than she had ever been in her life.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it, friends. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this fic to the end and indulging me in this craziness that I undertook. I never expected that this fic would grow to be the length of a novel, but here we are! Writing this has been a journey, to say the least, so thank you for coming along for the ride. This fic has been my life for the past month and a half and it's very bittersweet to see it come to an end.
> 
> I'm especially emotional because this time three months ago, I was knee-deep in my first ever Holtzbert fic, [The Holtzmann Problem](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7585231/chapters/17259061), which you should go (re)read if you want to fill the hole of this fic ending. And three months ago today, my incredible beta and friend [Jillian](http://lil-peanutt.tumblr.com/) commented on chapter five asking to draw [one of the scenes](http://lil-peanutt.tumblr.com/post/148250537416/ok-friends-so-ive-been-reading-a-lot-of), which in my opinion was the start of what has turned into a beautiful friendship. Jillian...thank you for being the best beta on the planet and supporting me every step of the way during this fic (even back when I wasn't supposed to be writing another fic and you encouraged me anyway). Without you, I don't know that I ever would've seen this fic through to the end, so thank you. Thank you for notes that made me laugh and cry, for responding to my zillion texts about every little thing I was doing, and for being there to cheer me on. I owe this fic to you. Happy (unofficial) three month friendiversary <3
> 
> Thank you for reading, guys. Come follow me on [Tumblr](http://holtzmannerin.tumblr.com/) and say hi! Let's be friends!
> 
> Until next time <3


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